


Catharsis

by Macx



Series: Darkness Unleashed [16]
Category: Yami No Matsuei
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-04-10
Updated: 2005-04-09
Packaged: 2017-10-19 06:57:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 25
Words: 45,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/198164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Macx/pseuds/Macx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Forced to confront what it means to be a possessed shinigami for the first time, Terazuma discovers a few stunning things about Tsuzuki, as well as about himself - and it's not what you think..</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Default Chapter

TITLE: Catharsis

AUTHOR: Macx and Lara Bee

DISCLAIMER: not mine. Definitely not! I just play with them and hope I tread on no one's toes.

Author's Voice of Warning (aka Author's Note):  
English is not my first language; it's German. This is the best I can do. Any mistakes you find in here, collect them and you might win a prize g> The spell-checker said everything's okay, but you know how trustworthy those thingies are...

ARCHIVE: yes

WARNINGS: violence, Sohryu ouchies, Touda ouchies

TYPE: yaoi

 **RATING: M, for FFNet specifically. All MA scenes have been cut out or down-sized from MA to M. The full version of this fic will be up on our website after all parts have been posted here**

PAIRING(S):  
Touda/Byakko (established relationship)  
Tsuzuki/Hisoka (established relationship)  
Sohryu/Rikugo (memory)

 **and one surprise pairing... the main one. We've never seen it before anywhere before. Have fun...**

FEEDBACK: empty inbox seeks emails g>

* * *

Part I - Encounter

"Rikugo?"

"Hm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

Dark eyes glanced at his companion and the astrologer smiled. "You know you can ask me anything, Tsuzuki."

It drew a light smile. "Well, yeah. Just asking."

"What's the question?"

The shinigami looked out over the wide expanse of GensouKai. They were sitting on top of Rikugo's palace, watching the approaching dusk. Tsuzuki had come by just as Rikugo had planned on spending a night watching the stars, studying the old charts, maybe add a few new observations to the old. He did that once a while, and the last time had been actually decades ago.

"Why can't you and Sohryu stand each other?"

The blond shikigami briefly closed his eyes, a fine smile playing over his features. "It's not like we hate each other, Tsuzuki," he pointed out.

Amethyst eyes turned to look at him. Tsuzuki's face was set in a serious expression. "I wasn't saying 'hate'. I said you can't stand each other. I know you don't like him, Rikugo. You once mentioned he isn't fit to lead you."

A sigh. "Yes, I did."

"Why?"

"It's... complicated."

"Uncomplicate it for me?"

He looked at his shinigami master, wondering what was going on behind those unusually colored eyes. Tsuzuki was hard to read sometimes, while being completely open and accessible at other times. Without using his other eyes, Rikugo had no chance of finding out what was going on, and he would never scan his master without permission.

"Sohryu and I go back a long time," he finally said, tearing his gaze away from those fascinating eyes. He resumed his vigil over the stars. "Aside from Genbu, Sohryu's one of the oldest Gods. His destiny was always clear to us and to him. He had been born to the Sky Dragon, the oldest son and heir to the power and title. He was raised to become our leader and I was one of his teachers."

Tsuzuki just raised an eyebrow, but he didn't comment.

"When he became one of the four Gods after his father's untimely demise in the first GensouKai war, he was very young. But he lead our people and won. He served the Emperor and he served us. But the wars to come changed him, changed his perception of life. He began to distrust visitors, he began to hate those who claimed shikigami as their servants."

Tsuzuki nodded. "Well, I know that hatred personally," he murmured.

Rikugo smiled faintly. Yes, Tsuzuki did. The hatred had launched a challenge that had nearly killed the young man at his side, but which had ultimately bound Sohryu to this incredible person.

"You changed him, Tsuzuki. Never doubt that. He was different before he met you, very different. His hostility was what broke my trust in him as a leader. He wanted us to live secluded from your world, to pull away. When we had to move into the realm of the computer net, when we removed ourselves from your dimension, it was just a first step in many for him to cut us off from what defines us. I fought him on that move, but I lost."

Rikugo sighed softly. It had been a harsh fight, one where auras had clashed, where wills had battled, and where Sohryu had used his innate power and his status to finally defeat Rikugo.

"But it saved you," Tsuzuki argued.

"Yes, it did. I confess that we survived in much better shape because we went into the net, but it cost us. In the beginning we had to reestablish everything. It was a difficult time."

"You survived," Tsuzuki repeated calmly.

Rikugo met those violet eyes, smiling. "We survived," he agreed. "We stepped back, we gave up, and we survived. But it didn't stop there. Sohryu became obsessed with our safety, with finding new enemies, and it destroyed my faith in him as a leader. When his wife died, things became even more difficult."

"He shoulders a great responsibility," the shinigami at his side murmured. "He's responsible for your survival. He made sacrifices for the greater good. It didn't help that I actually mastered him, hm?" There was a brief smile.

"Actually, it gave him a new perspective of things." Rikugo looked into the now almost dark sky. "Like it gave me a new perspective. You changed us, but the distrust is still there. I can't follow him blindly, Tsuzuki. I have to second guess him, I have to find the reasons for his moves."

"Maybe that makes you more of an ally to him than an enemy. Your opposition makes him rethink plans, too."

"I doubt it. He always does what he decided on."

"Are you sure?"

"He's the Azure Dragon of the Sky, the Protector of the East, a God," Rikugo told him. "His word is the law, it rules."

Amethyst eyes narrowed a little. "But you don't know that. You never knew his initial plan, you only know the results."

"True."

"So maybe he needs you to be a thorn in his side to be what he is, Rikugo. Maybe he needs someone to oppose him, to get his blood going, to tear him out of routine. I know he works hard. His job's not easy and all the chocolate cake in the world can't make him take a break on a regular basis." Tsuzuki grinned a little. "He needs to be hit out of the blue to jolt him back onto the right course. Maybe that's you."

"And you?" Rikugo added mildly.

"Yeah, well, while I'm here I try to do my best. When he gets one of those moods where he's ready to tear my head off I'm not so sure I've got an impact."

Sohryu had been, mildly put, completely furious with Tsuzuki for a while. Tsuzuki knew why. He had tried to commit suicide, using Touda, and Sohryu hadn't forgiven him lightly. Maybe he never had, but at least the permanent scowl was gone, as was the narrow-eyed look of ever-lasting criticism. Touda's later freedom from the visor, his pardon, all that had added to things.

"You have an impact on all of us," Rikugo told him calmly.

Tsuzuki had no reply for it, but his aura wafted off him in gentle waves, touching Rikugo's, making him relax. It was simply Tsuzuki, that strange mix of innocence and darkness, of warmth and ruthlessness. Two souls that lived in one body and which were so entwined they were inseparable. Whether he carried demon blood and power or not, Rikugo couldn't care less. The result was what counted, and the result was a fascinating individual who held such incredible power.

Rikugo stood in his study, paging through an old text. He finally lowered the ancient book and took off his glasses, rubbing his eyes. His mind wasn't really on his work. It was revolving around a tall, blue-haired God with an attitude that irked him like nothing else. What he had told Tsuzuki had been the truth, but a part had been missing. The part about the private matter between the two shikigami. The part that was a well-kept secret.

Well, mostly secret. Genbu knew, but only because he knew everything there was about his student. Rikugo didn't mind.

He sat down at his work table and stared at the charts and papers without seeing anything. Instead his inner eyes recalled a lithe, muscular body, perfectly toned; a face radiating nothing but intense pleasure; eyes the color of the sky throughout a thunder storm, glowing with something so intense, it took his breath away; long hair, held back haphazardly by a loose ribbon, cascading down a strong back.

No one knew. No one. And Sohryu pushed the affair away.

Affair.

Rikugo huffed. More like an ongoing fight. His body remembered those encounters, wild and steamy and filled with the dominating power of a sky god, mixed with the strong aura of someone who delved into the secrets of the universe. Two bodies entwined; not once but again and again. Not love but lust. Not release but an ongoing tension.

They had gotten together over a fight. It had been one of those arguments that had ended with auras flaring, with Sohryu gritting his teeth, snarling something uncomplimentary, and with Rikugo flinging the same back at him. All their arguments went down like this, with tempers rising, voices as well, and finally one of the two combatants leaving the other.

Back then it had been different.

Back then Sohryu hadn't turned. He had advanced on him, Rikugo's power flared, and then he was pushed against the wall, looking into fiery eyes.

Fiery.

Hot.

And something had snapped.

Rikugo couldn't explain the frenzy that had then taken over, as mouth crushed into each other, as hands tore off clothes, as bodies fought for dominance. Neither wanted to give in, but Rikugo had finally surrendered with a sharp cry as Sohryu pushed himself inside him. There had been nothing gentle about the encounter, nothing refined. It had been wild and unrestrained, down and dirty.

Sohryu had left him where he had weakly collapsed, gasping for breath, trying to wrap his mind around what had just happened.

No, he had never understood.

It hadn't been the last time, either.

It had meant nothing, but it had happened again and again.

All that changed over time was the fact that it grew gentler, but not loving. Dominance fights were still prevailing and Sohryu didn't always win. Rikugo suspected that the other dragon wanted to be pushed down and just be the passive part once in a while.

He gladly did so.

It was what described them. They would never find a common ground, neither in public nor in private. They would never find peace, just more reasons to fight, to release their pent-up energy and anger. Rikugo knew that Sohryu would never admit defeat and neither would he. It was a vicious cycle that could not be broken. He would never submit and Sohryu was Sohryu.

He was a dragon.

Dragons never submitted... even if this one had been mastered.

But never tamed.

The astrologer pushed his glasses back onto his nose.

He couldn't get free of the powerful man who rubbed him all the wrong ways. Sohryu couldn't free himself of his thorn either. They were bound together, unbreakable, and for all his words about Sohryu not fitting his role of their leader, Rikugo had no ambitions to take over. It was the last thing on his mind.

Maybe we've been helping each other all the time, he mused.

He wanted it to happen, even though he fought back each time. Sohryu never gave any indication that he preferred him over countless shikigami he could have had to fulfil his needs.

No emotions.

Never emotions.

Rikugo smoothed the creases in a chart.

No, emotions got in the way. It was too complicated and emotions wouldn't solve anything. They never talked about what had happened; it had never happened. So many things... so many nights and days... so many moments... and they had never happened.

And their relationship in this life out there, in GensouKai, didn't get better, but it also didn't get worse. They tolerated the other's presence, they drifted toward each other, meeting in an explosion of need and hatred of it, in lust and denial of it.

Rikugo smiled slightly. No, he would never confess to anything concerning Sohryu, and the dragon would rather cut his own tongue out than to say something to Rikugo.

It'll kill us one day, he mused. Unless we tear each other apart before that happens. Fire would burn Earth, Earth would bury and extinguish the fiery flame.

Destiny.

tbc...


	2. Default Chapter

He didn't need this.

He - didn't - need - this!

He was perfectly fine. Always had been, currently was, and always would be!

The tall, dark-haired man stalked across the impeccable lawn, ignoring the beautiful, landscaped trees and bushes, glaring at whatever got in his way.

He didn't need a vacation! He was fine! And he especially didn't need a vacation in this place!

Glaring at the sky he wondered how he could get home without his partner noticing, without his baby-sitter noticing...

Weeks in this rotten, damned place. Time to 'unwind', as his partner had put it.

He was unwound, darnit!

What he needed was less of Tsuzuki Asato! The man drove him nuts. He was a constant nuisance, a source of anger and dismay. Why did he have twelve shikigami at his command when he chose to wile away his days in the office, eating sweets and making others do his reports? Why had no one ever downgraded him from angel of death to whatever he might possibly be capable of? Because one thing was for sure, Tsuzuki was no worker. He was a lazy moron with half a brain and way too much leniency.

Red eyes glared on.

He had never liked the man and he wouldn't start doing so ever. Tsuzuki was a thorn, a shame of the department. How could Enma-Daiou ever have chosen this... this moron? This dim-witted idiot?

"Okay, here we are."

He looked at the palace in front of him and huffed. Oh hell, his youth hostel, right?

Terazuma Hajime was not in a good mood. He rarely was anyway, but today his mood had taken a dive for the worst. Endless days in GensouKai. Endless days surrounded by shikigami. And that was supposed to help him with his so-called problems?

He had no problems, thank you very much! Aside from a way too cheerful partner and an incapable colleague.

His baby-sitter, to top it all of, was a shikigami in the service of his despised colleague. Byakko had greeted him, smiling brightly, radiating unrestrained energy and life. Shit, he hated cheerful people!

Terazuma grunted something in reply to Byakko's announcement.

Weeks.

He could do a few weeks among shikigami. He didn't have to talk to them, he didn't have to even like them... he could do this.

Terazuma was frustrated.

One day in GensouKai had started to wear him thin. Thinner than usual, that is. The Black One was growling at him, close to the surface like he only was on rainy days, and it was getting harder and harder to push away the anger and helplessness and frustration.

Why was he here?

Because Wakaba thought it would help him get in touch with his shikigami. Because things had gotten out of hand, transformations had multiplied, and Terazuma had developed a chain-smoking habit. Every little thing irked him. Everything was too much.

And the pressure of the Black One inside him grew.

The shikigami lion reacted to his rising stress level, wanted to get out and protect him from an invisible enemy that couldn't be fought by brute force, and Terazuma felt his strength wane.

After a particularly nasty encounter with Tsuzuki which had ended with him transforming, Tatsumi had had enough. He had forced the vacation on Terazuma, with Konoe agreeing to it, and Wakaba had happily helped. All his protests that he was needed, that there might be cases to handle, had been deflected. If there were too many cases for all the remaining seventeen shinigami to handle, Terazuma would be called back. But only then. Not any sooner.

Of course, Tsuzuki was involved in a way. He knew close to all shikigami in GensouKai center and Terazuma had been given a baby-sitter while he was here. Terazuma was to stay with Byakko and find a way to unwind.

He snorted.

Right!

Partners, he mused grumpily, who needed them? Not that he didn t need Wakaba, she was the one pulling him back when the Black One took over. He hated that, hated that he needed someone... and of course the impossibility to touch people, to be touched. He had no idea what triggered his shikigami that way, why the black lion felt the urge to protect him when a woman came near... but it was frustrating!

Okay, so he could be touched by a man, but Terazuma Hajime didn t feel attracted to guys, uh-hn, no way! Especially not to a certain violet eyed colleague who drove him to insanity with his incompetence... he growled at the very thought and threw himself under a tree near a quiet little lake.

Damn shikigami! Who needed them anyway?

He hadn't wanted the lion. He had never wanted a shikigami. Becoming stronger through a shikigami wasn't true strength; he would never rely on such an addition to his own magic as a shinigami. But he had been forced to join with the parasite and had had to live with the fallout ever since.

Tsuzuki had twelve of them, non-parasitic, and what did that say about his strength? Overcompensation or what?

Another snort.

Staring off into space Terazuma cooled down a little, allowing his thoughts to stray, and closed his eyes, enjoying the warm summer breeze that ruffled his hair.

Something splashed.

Opening his eyes Terazuma's breath caught in his throat for a second when he watched an apparition step out of the water of the lake. Tall and slender, yet with well defined muscles, the long blue hair glistening in the afternoon sun the man shrugged off some droplets before he stepped toward a robe that had been draped over a nearby bush. Intense blue-gray eyes regarded him, and Terazuma blushed, suddenly realizing that he was staring at the naked man.

Sliding into his robe the man watched him curiously before he sat down just beside him. Terazuma felt the heat rise in his face again and looked away, everywhere but into the man's face.

"So, you found my hiding place," the man said in a pleasantly rich baritone voice that, in addition to the proximity, made Terazuma shudder a little.

"Sorry," he mumbled, fishing for his cigarettes and lighting a new one.

"Don't be," the man answered levelly. "It's rare that I have such nice company."

Terazuma coughed.

The stranger regarded him thoughtfully. "You shouldn't smoke, especially not when carrying a shikigami. But I suppose you know that already."

"Yeah, I know that," was the dismissive answer and Terazuma defiantly took another drag from his cigarette.

Of course he knew his shikigami didn't like smokes. Ever since he had gotten that damned lion his senses had become sharper than normal people's. But he suppressed them. He didn't need those advantages to work his job. In the process, he had alienated himself from the shikigami he carried and his colleagues.

Who needed them anyway?

Terazuma shot the stranger a dark look. Thank you for reminding me!

"How come you're carrying a parasite shikigami? That costs lots of energy and isn't always harmless."

"I wasn't asked," Terazuma growled.

No, he hadn't been asked. He hadn't been told what would happen. He had had no idea. As for the energy... well, he managed.

Again he was given a strange look. "Kagankokushunkei," he murmured. "Odd."

Terazuma stared at him, the cigarette almost dropping from his open mouth. "You know his name?" he blurted.

That got him a smile. "Of course. I can feel his presence, his aura. There aren't that many parasitic types in GensouKai with that strength. I just can't place you, shinigami. News of such a union travels fast, especially when a parasite is involved."

"I didn't choose that cat!" Terazuma spat. "I inherited him and now he's making my life a living hell- for all eternity, because unfortunately I'm a shinigami! I can't die. And I can't get rid of him either!"

Another long look, then the stranger nodded. "That sounds as if you have a problem."

"You have no idea..."

"Why did you inherit him?"

He refused to answer.

"Parasites are by nature very protective of their hosts and for them to jump to another, the prior host must have either died or been ascended."

Why couldn't the guy shut up? Terazuma raged silently.

"Usually, when an ascension happens the shikigami is set free in GensouKai. Since that didn't happen with you that makes me consider another option. His first host died."

"I didn't kill him!" Terazuma snarled, "if that's what you want to know! I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time! I was stupid! I was conned into this and now I can't back out again!"

He erupted from his place and shot the shikigami a dark glare for bringing up that particular topic, for even asking him about his shikigami, for simply existing.

And then he turned on his heels and left without so much as a good-bye.

Anger and rage boiled through him and the Black One moved restlessly. Terazuma gnashed his teeth, started to walk more briskly, until he finally broke into a run.

He ran for a long time, finally out of breath, his mind blank and still upset.

It wasn't until sunset that he returned to the palace. And it wasn't until the very early morning hours that he found a measure of rest.

tbc...


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Authors' note: Terazuma's history is of our own making. This is not canon! Just in case anyone wonders... Lara and I just tried to make up a believable backgroun for him, explain his attitude, why he is as he is, and has been apparently, for thirty years. Hope you bear with us :)**

It took another twenty-four hours for him to return to the lake, but only because there seemed to be no other place that had this peace, this harmony, and Terazuma scolded himself for going. Still, he did.

In a way he wasn't surprised to find the shikigami there, reclining against a tree, eyes closed, bathing in the sun that made it through the foliage. As Terazuma approached, the blue-gray eyes opened and the man smiled.

"You came back."

He stopped, undecided. "Yeah," he muttered.

Terazuma gazed at the other, meeting the inquiring eyes, and finally the man smiled.

"I don't bite," he said mildly. "And I'll gladly share this place with you."

Terazuma hesitated again, then finally nodded and walked closer, still keeping a respectful distance.

"I apologize for yesterday. I was rude."

"And I was asking personal questions. It's my place to apologize in turn," the blue-haired shikigami replied calmly.

"You sensed the Black One. I guess you were curious." Terazuma sat down cross-legged.

"I rarely meet shinigami who have parasite shikigami."

"Meet one of the novelties," the former detective muttered, feeling disgusted at himself again.

"You really don't like him, hm?"

A shrug. "I could do without, I guess."

"You said you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. I never heard of a forced possession."

Terazuma heard the underlying question and he struggled with his inner self whether or not to tell this shikigami what had happened. Finally he relented to the need to have someone know, to tell someone who wasn't a guilt-ridden partner.

Blue-gray eyes regarded him silently, waiting. The shinigami raked a hand through his hair, trying to find the calm center he always had when he partook in his passion: archery. Finally he raised his head, those shikigami eyes still watching him.

"I was a rookie," he said softly. "I was new to this whole business and I wasn't good working with someone else. Before I died I was a police officer and I didn't like partnering up back then either. But it was mandatory, so I tagged along with an older pair. They were supposed to show me the ropes. Something went wrong. Things got out of hand." He shuddered at the memories. "Jun... the Black One's former host... he was dying. I was there and he... he forced him on me. I had no choice; no one asked me. And no one stopped him."

He fell quiet, hands clenching as those dark moments returned, as he saw the bloody and torn and dying form of Jun once more. There had been no hope. Shinigami healed, but there were things that could kill them. Devils, for instance. Devils who knew what to throw at them, who had lured them into a trap, who had wanted to kill both the shinigami and his shikigami.

His life had been hell ever since.

"I never wanted a shikigami," he muttered angrily. "Relying on someone else makes you weak. Using a shikigami's strength to grow stronger is just cheating!"

Terazuma didn't know what had gotten into him, but he found he blurted out his story to this stranger, who just sat at his side and listened closely, asking a question here and there. Heck, the guy was a shikigami and he had just more or less told him that he would never trust one of his kind in battle.

"You think the shikigami makes his shinigami stronger?"

"Yeah. Why else challenge one of you and bind you to a master?"

There was a smile on those handsome features. "Yes, why? But now you have a shikigami, one who serves you."

"Yeah, and I hate every day of my life."

A tilt of the head. "You do have a bleak outlook on life."

Terazuma didn't answer and they sat in mutual silence until the stranger broke it.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go now," he said calmly. "My job calls and I hate to have the people looking for me discover this spot. If you need to talk again, you'll find me here almost every day, same time like today."

Terazuma nodded and watched as the man took a gray overcoat and threw it over his shoulders. Somehow just sitting there and have someone listen, someone who neither knew nor judged him it had been unexpectedly refreshing.

Then something occurred to him

"Hey," he called, "I don't even know your name."

The man looked at him over his shoulders and smiled.

"My name is Sohryu."

And then he was gone.

Terazuma leaned back against the tree, mind wandering, noticing with surprise that for the first time in a long time he felt at ease with the world in general and himself in particular.

Another day in GensouKai passed with what could be called normality, but for Terazuma it was anything but normal. This was a world inside a computer, a digital world, once real but now just part of the world wide web, or something like it. Nothing here was real. Then again, how real was Meifu?

He had no idea if this world really would help him settle down the Black One. True, he hadn't had a transformation for twenty-four hours now, but that meant little.

Byakko, his host, showed thankfully little of himself. Servants brought the food and he was left to his own devices for now. Terazuma appreciated it. He was a loner by nature. He hated crowds, he hated attention.

But he found himself walking back toward the lake again, strangely apprehensive. He had thought about his meeting with the blue-haired shikigami and for some reason it had felt good to talk. It was like he had finally been able to get some issues off his chest without screaming at someone, mostly Wakaba who already nurtured enough guilt at his 'condition'.

Yes, it had been good.

When Terazuma found himself approaching the clearing and the small lake he felt hesitation bloom inside him, and at the same time his heart was starting to hammer in his chest.

What the hell? This wasn't a frigging date or something.

But the closer he got to the lake the more nervous he became. Was it because he hoped Sohryu would be there or that he wouldn't? But then he walked past the trees, stepping into the small clearing and there he was, sitting comfortably and relaxed against the same tree as yesterday. Sohryu didn't turn his head, but Terazuma knew that he had been detected all along. That man was a shikigami after all.

"I don't bite," he said in that deep voice and Terazuma started, realizing he had been standing there and had stared- again. Great.

"Uh... sorry," he muttered, sliding down beside him, picking another cigarette. His initial one, the one after breakfast, had been reduced to a stub long ago.

"I'd be thankful if you could cut down your nicotine consummation a little, at least here."

"Uh- do all shikigami have extended senses?"

"Most of us, yes. I'm very surprised you can stand that stuff."

"At least it won't kill me anymore," he muttered and stuffed the cigarette package into his pockets.

"And you consider that an advantage?"

A fine blue eyebrow cocked, eyes glittering with amusement watched him, and Terazuma shook his head.

"It's something I brought over from my former life. Sometimes I just do it to piss off people."

"I see."

There was a moment of silence before Sohryu spoke again. "You never told me your name yesterday."

"Hn? Terazuma. Terazuma Hajime."

"Nice to meet you, Terazuma."

"Thanks for yesterday."

"I didn't do anything," Sohryu only answered.

"You listened." Terazuma didn't look at him, just studied the cold cigarette in his hands.

"You never told your partner about this?"

He snorted. "How could I? She blames herself for my condition." He gestured at his face and body in general. "Wasn't like I didn't yell and scream at her in the first few days," he continued softly. "Not only had I found out I had become a shinigami because I couldn't let go of my life, now I also was host to a parasite and looked like a freak!"

Sohryu studied him. "Why couldn't you let go?"

That was a very personal question and Terazuma felt something inside of him clench at the memories once more.

"I was a police detective. I died on the job," he muttered. "I was just so fucking mad... I didn't expect it, and I didn't expect the killer to be a colleague. If I had been better, if I hadn't been so close-minded and hard-headed, I would have seen it sooner. As it was, he shot me and my partner."

"And you clung to that hatred." Sohryu nodded to himself. "And you still do, just that you now hate your shikigami as well."

"I don't hate him."

"No?"

"I just don't like him, okay? He changed me. Not just physically. I can live with the eyes and the ears and the stripes... hell, even with the transformations."

Sohryu held the red eyes, his own expression giving nothing away. "Then what is the problem?"

Terazuma shuddered a little. "I can't be touched."

That drew a surprised expression and he sighed.

"When a woman touches me... wham! The Black One comes out. It needs Wakaba to help me take control, to push him back." A derisive smile crossed his lips. "Sometimes I think she's more like my tamer than my partner."

Sohryu winced. "She fights him with ofuda?"

"Yeah."

"You know that it hurts him."

"Yeah..." Of course it did. The pain was what drove the creature back, gave him control of his body again, left him with shame and embarrassment and such anger... "Yeah, I know," Terazuma whispered. "But it's the only way. I lose myself in him whenever he comes out. I can't do anything. He destroys... everything. Just one touch and everything goes down the drain."

Sohryu was silent for a long, long time, gazing out over the lake, and Terazuma avoided looking at the handsome man at his side. He was talking about his shikigami with another shikigami, and he was telling him about the abuse the Black One was going through. Great move.

"Terazuma, I think part of your problem is that you don't like your shikigami," Sohryu finally said. "He senses that. Parasite shikigami have a mind of their own, but they are guardian spirits nevertheless. He protects you if he thinks you're in danger, he will even sacrifice himself for you if necessary. He might not follow orders if he doesn't like them, but still- he wants your approval. You're his master after all and a strong master."

Terazuma snorted. "What does that mean, he wants my approval? I wasn't asked if I wanted him, and neither was he!"

"Yes, but still he is your shikigami."

"Then why make this fuss about women?"

"Stress level? You and him are conditioned in that way."

Terazuma let his head sink. "I haven't been touched in decades... It's..." he murmured, then stopped, embarrassment creeping over his cheeks.

"Frustrating?" Sohryu suggested. "Maybe he knows something you don't... Have you ever tried a man?"

"What!" Terazuma exploded, staring at the shikigami as if he had lost his mind. "Are you completely nuts? I'm not... gay or something. I like women, okay? I'm not into men! I'm not gay!"

Amused blue-gray eyes watched him as he paced. "Neither am I. None of us is. Actually," he added at the red glare, "something like 'gay' doesn't exist in GensouKai. We are a little bit more flexible and open concerning our partner choices."

Terazuma growled softly and tore the unlit cigarette out between his teeth, grinding it into the dirt.

"I don't care what you have here, but in my world 'gay' exists and I'm not one of them!"

Sohryu smiled. "Of course not."

Terazuma snarled softly. "You mean, if you... then you... ?"

Sohryu chuckled. "It means when I like someone I like someone. If both want to express their feelings through physical contact, giving and receiving pleasure, so be it. Besides, it's a damn good way to relax, and you look very tense to me. Maybe both you and your shikigami would benefit from a little relaxation exercise, don't you think?"

Terazuma gaped. And glared. And blushed.

"Are you coming on to me here!" he blurted in disbelief.

"Would you turn me down?"

tbc...


	4. part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Terazuma couldn't believe his own ears- he was really saying something like that? Why not give the other guy a piece of his mind, tell him in no uncertain terms what he could do with his offer and get the hell out of here? But no...

"I've known you for only a day..."

Terazuma couldn't believe his own ears- he was really saying something like that? Why not give the other guy a piece of his mind, tell him in no uncertain terms what he could do with his offer and get the hell out of here? But no...

"It's not a matter of time, and you know that."

"I..."

Terazuma's anxiety level rose. He felt the shikigami inside of him stir.

There was a hint of movement and he whirled around, the lion snarling- only to cower down and almost crawl under the cover of Terazuma's mind. He was briefly surprised by the reaction, one he had noticed before, then his view was filled by a handsome face and warm eyes.

"You need to relax," Sohryu told him and Terazuma shivered.

"I need to get out of here!" the former detective rasped. "I..."

Suddenly there was nothing more to say. Not that he wouldn't want to- but due to the hot lips that were neatly pressed onto his Terazuma didn't get the chance. He gasped and felt a skillful hot tongue gently probe his mouth, fingers sneaking around his neck and pulling him closer- and then he was kissed thoroughly, keenly and expertly.

When Sohryu pulled back after what appeared to be an eternity Terazuma stared at him in utter shock.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Hm. You can still talk- I'm losing my touch..."

And then those lips were back on his, even more passionately then before, and Terazuma couldn't do anything but moan and clench his fingers into the other one's shirt. Heat was coiling inside of him, spreading through his entire body and when he felt teasing fingers slide over the tips of his ear and caress his neck that heat concentrated itself way down south.

Terazuma moaned again as the strong hands caressed his stiff back, teased muscled into relaxation, and then there was a warm, moist tongue and a hot mouth and nothing else. Years of frustration and tension, of anxiety and anger melted into the kiss, a kiss that grew more aggressive by the moment.

 _I'm not gay_ , he thought faintly. _I'm not... I can't be..._

But it felt so good. It felt so incredibly good and wonderful and... more... much more.

Those hands were everywhere, under his shirt, on his skin, making him writhe for more. He wanted... wanted...

A soft mouth nibbled down his neck and he whimpered, clutching the strong shoulders of the other man.

"Terazuma," Sohryu murmured, licking at one ear.

When had he come up from his neck to his ear? Terazuma wondered faintly.

He was lowered onto his back, looking up into those fascinating eyes, and his hands came up to touch, but then he hesitated.

"You're allowed to touch me," Sohryu breathed, kissing him again. "I want you to touch me."

Tentatively he ran a hand through the silky blue mane, exploring the soft texture of the strands, accidentally brushing over a pointed ear and wandering over the skin of the neck. Sohryu made a soft little sound and slightly leaned into the touch, closing his eyes briefly. Those skillful fingers brushed over his ribcage, caressing naked skin ... and he panicked.

Sohryu pulled back. "I never force myself on anybody," he said calmly. "You're not ready. I'm sorry."

Terazuma blushed- hell, what was he, a teenager in puberty, for crying out loud?- and sat up again, feeling very much self-conscious right now.

"Uh... "

A little chuckle answered him. "Seems I still have my touch, though."

"Sohryu... "

"It's all right," Sohryu lifted a hand. "I have to go anyway." Terazuma found his face cupped gently, fingertips caressing his ears, and despite his panic he felt the intense urge to purr.

"Cat shikigami are very sensuous, Hajime, and he shares that sensitivity with you. If you deprive the both of you from physical sensations, it will drive him crazy... and you need to be touched, too. I'll be here, tomorrow, if you need to talk."

"Sohryu..." he stammered, feeling cornered.

"As I said, it's all right."

And with that, Sohryu left. Terazuma watched the slender figure pick his way through the trees and then disappear. Something inside of him shivered and it wasn't the Black One.

Terazuma didn't go to the lake the next day, nor the day after. He was wandering around GensouKai, taking in the scenery at the marketplace, watching the people- all different kind of shikigami, he mused, and each of them had probably the same mind-set about sex like Sohryu.

Sohryu ...

There was something about the blue-haired shikigami that made him nervous. He remembered only too vividly how the lips had felt on his, or the way his skin had tingled where it had been touched, how his body had reacted... but he wasn't gay, damnit! Terazuma Hajime didn't swing that way, never had, never would be!

But he had kissed a man.

It had felt so good; better than any touch of a woman, at least as far as he could remember.

He had responded to Sohryu, had kissed him back.

A man.

He had kissed a man, touched him ...

And liked it.

He wasn't gay ...

He just liked kissing a man.

His imagination started to run down a certain track as he imagined the body he had seen, lean and tall, hard muscles instead of soft curves, and between the legs... Terazuma swallowed. Would he... could he... touch him there? Feel another man's arousal ... ?

No way!

Because he wasn't gay!

But damn, was it warm here, or what?

Terazuma groaned.

Two days later he couldn't stand it anymore.

Stepping into the small clearing he looked for Sohryu, feeling a little disappointed when he couldn't spot the tall shikigami anywhere. He hadn't been able to sleep properly, and more than once his body had reminded him unmistakably of what it wanted.

Terazuma sank down onto the soft grass, leaning against his' tree and closed his eyes. Had he really thought Sohryu would come? Had he really thought the shikigami would wait for him? Why should he? He certainly could find other bed partners... and why the hell was that thought bothering him all of a sudden!

Someone came.

Terazuma felt his heart skip a beat before starting to hammer, but he didn't need to open his eyes to know who it was- his senses were sharp, and he would recognize that scent everywhere: fresh and a little salty, like a spring day at the beach.

"Hajime."

Gods, and that voice...

Terazuma turned his head and took in the tall, slender figure in those simple clothes. Like before he wore nothing but straight cut, black pants, a light, long-sleeved shirt that showed a little traditional influence but wasn't embroidered, and the hair was held back in a pony tail. Ribbons had been wrapped tightly around a good length of it, taming the mass. Terazuma had no idea how the man could even start brushing that stuff. But he was more interested in the whole of the package.

Ah hell, no! Down boy!

 _I'm not gay!_ he raged.

But he found the man smiling down at him very, very attractive. Terazuma couldn't remember ever looking after men, giving them more than a cursory check that was more to determine their danger level than their sexuality. Sohryu... Sohryu touched something, stirred something inside him, and he wanted more of that kiss.

He had felt good. So... good...

"Sohryu..." he greeted him, feeling a bit hesitant.

Why had he come here? Because he liked the place? Definite yes. It soothed his senses. Because he wanted to meet Sohryu again? Well, yes, that too. The man... Terazuma sighed as several descriptions passed through his head and all of them were quite... fitting.

He looked away.

Sohryu smiled. "Your shikigami seems to be getting better," he remarked and settled down beside Terazuma.

The shinigami was quite aware of the close proximity of the other warm body and it sent tingles through him.

For now he just grunted something affirmative.

"But you two still haven't reached a level where the true healing can start."

"I didn't come here to get rehab or something," Terazuma growled. "I wasn't asked. I don't even like this place!"

Blue-gray eyes regarded him calmly. "And here I thought I could detect a note of relaxation. It always helps me, Hajime. It's one of the most balanced spots in GensouKai center. The energies running through this place are harmonious, made for soothing pain and anxiety."

"I'm not in pain and I'm not anxious! Thank you very much!"

His tension rose and he wondered why. It wasn't like he felt threatened by Sohryu. On the contrary.

 _I'm not gay!_

Now desperation clung to his thinking and he screwed his eyes shut. He wasn't into men. Never had been, never would be! He was straight as an arrow! Just because there was a lack of sexual activity in his life, male or female... His mind screeched to a halt.

No!

Inhaling shakily, he rubbed over his forehead.

"Pain doesn't always have to be physical. Your shikigami..."

"Leave that thing out of it! I don't need him, I don't need you, I don't need anything!"

Terazuma was about to rise when Sohryu moved. His hand shot forward, closing around his wrist and with a swift motion he had Terazuma pulled across his lap. Terazuma found himself straddling the other man's hips, able to feel much of the other's body.

"You have highly receptive senses, Hajime. You have his senses. I told you that both of you are sensuous. You're mutilating yourself by refusing anyone to touch you."

"People touch me..." he argued weakly.

"A handshake? A brush of shoulders? That's not touching. That's more like an accidental contact." Sohryu's eyes were as warm as his voice. "You're capable of feeling so much more. Let me show you..."

Terazuma trembled a little, feeling out of control. He hated to lose control, he needed it, but this man had just single-handedly blown away everything.

"Trust me..." Sohryu whispered. "You are able to feel my touch before I even lay a finger on you. Close your eyes."

tbc...


	5. part 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ghosting over highly sensitive spots at his ears again before Sohryu gently caressed his lips- Terazuma had to steady himself at the other man's shoulders or he would have toppled over with the sensation. Feeling the shikigami shift slightly fingertips were replaced by lips, butterfly soft and gentle, and he opened up without even thinking. Wrapping his arms around the strong body, Terazuma sighed and moaned when he felt those lips caress his, that hot inquiring tongue stroke over his sensitized mouth, asking to be let inside.

He swallowed but obeyed. He didn't need to concentrate to sense the air move ever so slightly when Sohryu brought his hand up and the heat of the other man's body, radiating from the fingertips that hadn't even touched the skin on his neck. Just millimeters above his skin the fingertips were caressing him, brushing over the hair that was standing up because of the goose bumps. Neck, throat, ears and jaw line without making contact to the exposed skin, and Terazuma let his head fall back, becoming more and more aware of the other body close to him. Then the fingertips did touch his skin, and it was like a flash of heat, like pure electricity, making Terazuma shiver and moan.

Ghosting over highly sensitive spots at his ears again before Sohryu gently caressed his lips- Terazuma had to steady himself at the other man's shoulders or he would have toppled over with the sensation. Feeling the shikigami shift slightly fingertips were replaced by lips, butterfly soft and gentle, and he opened up without even thinking. Wrapping his arms around the strong body, Terazuma sighed and moaned when he felt those lips caress his, that hot inquiring tongue stroke over his sensitized mouth, asking to be let inside.

Too long. It had been too long. He was thirsting for a loving touch, for a kiss, for... more. Three decades of loneliness boiled up inside him, made him desperate, made him hunger for every little attention, and he knew that something inside of him was breaking.

Terazuma utterly surprised himself by not only letting it, but inviting it in, and eagerly so. Sohryu's hands glided down his body, teasing him through the fabric of his shirt first before he touched bare skin. Terazuma was suddenly highly aware of the other man, of his position upon Sohryu's lap, and the certain pressure against his crotch- but then Sohryu teased a nipple with his thumb, deepening the kiss, a hand sneaked between his spread legs- and Terazuma cried out hoarsely as all the pent up frustration and need and pleasure suddenly exploded in a mind numbing sensation of completion.

Coming back to himself Terazuma found himself lying lax on top of Sohryu, gently cradled against a hard naked chest.

His back was stroked soothingly and he was still only too aware of touch of bare skin against skin.

"You... you made me... "

"You came," Sohryu rumbled softly. "That was the intention."

"In my pants!"

An amused chuckle. "Not necessarily. Did it feel good?"

"Uh..." Terazuma shifted uncomfortably, and Sohryu chuckled again.

Soft lips brushed against his and Terazuma kissed him back, the initial shock of kissing another man long gone. Sohryu gently pushed him off his lap.

"There's a perfectly nice lake, Hajime. Use it if you want to. Nobody will disturb you here."

He looked into those strange eyes, blue-gray with a slit pupil. Terazuma knew little about shikigami, but for the first time he wanted to; at least concerning this man.

Shrugging out of his shirt and his pants Terazuma was aware of the those eyes watching him as he revealed his body to the shikigami.

The water had just the right temperature, and it was caressing his skin like soft silk when Terazuma dove through effortlessly. He loved swimming, almost as much as he loved archery and martial arts. The silence under water was as meditative for him as was concentrating on the target with his arrow- focusing on one point, freeing his mind of disquieting and distressing thoughts and images, and become one with the world. It was pure Zen, peace in itself, and only somebody who practiced the same art would be able to understand how something as simple looking as that could pacify his usually upset mind. Somehow Terazuma had the impression Sohryu could.

Stepping out of the water Terazuma indeed felt refreshed, but he was aware of his own nudity again. Sohryu handed him a robe and he slipped into it thankfully.

"You're a handsome man, Hajime," the tall shikigami said quietly.

"I'm a freak," Terazuma muttered.

There was a hand on his neck, pulling him close to the handsome man who had just given him the best thing in a long time. Blue-gray eyes fixed on inhuman red ones.

"You are Terazuma Hajime. Nothing more, nothing less. This," he caressed one pointed ear, "doesn't mean you're different from any other shinigami. They all carry something that makes them different from the next." Now those fingers caressed the stripes underneath his eyes. "You have beautiful eyes, Hajime. Quite expressive when you're not constantly frowning."

"They're red!"

"So? Tsuzuki's are violet. Mine are blue. Byakko's are red, too."

Terazuma looked away, face a grimace. He hadn't been born with that color! It was a sign of his possession and the creature inside him. He rarely looked into a mirror if he could help it.

"As long as you can't accept Kagankokushunkei, you can't accept yourself. Physical release will only give you a little breathing space, Hajime. It takes the edge off the tension. You need to accept what you are, and you need to accept the shikigami you are bound to." Sohryu's voice was soft, gentle, cajoling.

"What if I can't?" he wanted to know, voice weak.

"Then you will continue to self-destruct. I want to help you, Hajime, because I like you, and because I can't sit by idly and see two beings in such pain, but you need to cooperate." Sohryu caressed his skin, fingers playing over one ear. "Please?"

He sighed softly, deflating a little. Terazuma knew that this wonderful feeling that he was currently experiencing wouldn't last. And he knew sex wasn't the answer either. It was a momentary release, fleeing from reality, just feeling... feeling like he had never done before in all his shinigami life. His body craved contact and his mind was thirsting for more of those electric overloads.

Sohryu wanted to help.

And he needed help.

"Okay," he murmured.

Soft lips captured his and he was kissed. "Thank you," the shikigami murmured.

Terazuma didn't know what exactly he had expected Sohryu to do to help him. The shikigami had told him that sex wasn't the ultimate solution and he had agreed. The tension inside him came from lack of control and a too tight control in one.

"You're all knotted up," Sohryu explained to him when they met again. "Everything inside you is one big tangle and that can't be solved by physical release alone."

Terazuma stared out over the lake. "I know."

"Do you have any hobbies?"

He blinked and turned to look at the man standing calmly at his side. "Huh?"

"Hobbies?" Sohryu repeated.

"I, ah, do archery."

He was actually very good at it, one of the few things he liked and into which he could absorb himself- until someone waved a red flag in form of Tsuzuki in front of him. That man always got him over the edge in no time.

"Good. To be a master at that you need to concentrate, to meditate, find your center."

He sighed. "I'm not so good at that. I get distracted."

"How about we find a way to lengthen that moment of total peace, enable you to ignore the world outside long enough for your emotions to settle when you get upset? I find that swimming is calming for me, for instance. I like the water." Sohryu smiled. "There's nothing like being alone, under water, with nothing but your own heart beat to listen to, to swim in this environment where nothing else can enter your peaceful state of mind."

Terazuma looked at him, drawn to that gentle baritone, the hypnotic timbre, and he wanted nothing more than to be close to this man, have him touch him. Be touched and touch in turn. He longed for that peace, that calm center, as well as human contact. His tactile sense was like a dried out well. All his senses were hyper aware, better than anyone's because of the parasite, but he had always seen them as a liability. Everything hurt him, everything was bad...

It didn't have to be bad.

"So, how about it?" Sohryu asked, looking questioningly at him.

"I'd like to try," Terazuma found himself answering.

And so their meetings began to encompass a variety of meditation techniques, underwater swimming, archery, and whatever else Terazuma wanted. Even without Sohryu, who couldn't be with him all the time, he continued the lessons and something inside of him started to relax.

"Tell me about yourself," Sohryu asked softly as they lay together on the fresh grass, the sun playing over their bodies.

Terazuma looked at the azure sky. "What do you want to know?"

"You said you were a detective before you died...?"

He shrugged. "Yeah. Not exactly my life's dream."

"Then why choose that profession?" came the question.

He sighed a little. "Family tradition. Dunno about you guys, but for some families in the world of the living, tradition is everything. And some traditions involve the eldest male child taking after the father, the eldest daughter following the mother. I was the unlucky son to be chosen to become a police officer. Dad was a high ranking official, as had been his grandfather. Grandfather was a commissioner, actually."

"So you followed in your father's foot steps?"

"Kinda. I hated it, but I had no choice. I wanted my father to be proud of me, it was expected of me, but I didn't want it at all." Terazuma looked glumly at the clouds passing over the blue sky. "I hated the politics and the guns. I wasn't a good investigator at all."

"You made detective."

A snort. "Dad's influence. I should have remained a beat cop, but hey, I was a Terazuma. I had to become more. So I did and see where it go me. I was killed by a rotten cop on the take and I didn't even realize it until it was too late."

Terazuma sat up, feeling the old anger rise. The Black One stirred, but he seemed to be more careful lately. The mediation and relaxation helped, as did Sohryu.

The shikigami pushed himself up as well, regarding him calmly. "What would you have done if not for tradition?"

He closed his eyes. "I always loved the traditional sports. Archery was my passion ever since I had been a child. I once tried kendo. I liked it, but my father said to concentrate on the Academy. I snuck away to watch others, to secretly shoot archery."

A warm hand curled over one shoulder. "Maybe it's the path you should follow now. You are free of your mortal bond, Hajime. Free to be who you want to be."

"I'm a shinigami," Terazuma muttered.

"Infinite possibilities."

Yes, infinite. He was immortal, a guardian of death...

Sohryu kissed his neck and he closed his eyes, enjoying the tender contact. Hands slipped around his waist, pulling him against the firm, warm and very solid form of his lover.

"Be what you want to be," Sohryu whispered, never stopping his caress.

Hands glided over his skin, leaving a fiery trail behind. Wherever he had been touched, his skin tingled and prickled, overly sensitized, and all Terazuma could do was dig his fingers into the ground and gasp for air. Sohryu knew exactly what he was doing, nibbling at the tip of his ear and working himself down his neck and chest.

Terazuma hadn't really noticed that the shikigami had freed him from the shirt, but when the hands slipped deeper he tensed. Sohryu stopped, looking at him questioningly.

"Hajime?"

"I... I don't know..."

"Let me help you with that doubt of yours."

And before he could grasp the concept, Sohryu had shrugged out of his own clothes, lying at his side in all his naked glory. Terazuma had seen him that way only once and his body reacted immediately to the sight. His eyes slid over the well defined chest, down to the flat stomach, long legs and... he had to swallow when he couldn't help notice that Sohryu wasn't unaffected by what they were doing. Nope, definitely not.

"I'd like to feel your skin against mine, Hajime. Very much so."

Sohryu ran fingers over his chest and ribcage, working himself down south, and Terazuma moaned when his body responded. Sohryu's fingers brushed over him.

It felt good... so much better than everything Sohryu had done to him until this point, and Terazuma's eyes slid shut, hips arching into the touch- and then he was released of the confinement of his jeans, feeling the tall shikigami's body glide along his unhindered by any clothing.

He felt the rush in his ears, heard his heart race, and was highly sensitive all of a sudden. More than before. A lot more than before. Sohryu kissed him, smiling at his dazed expression.

"Now that we took the edge off it," the shikigami whispered, "we can start for real."

Terazuma gasped as those nimble fingers stroked over him, and he twitched. Yes, the first need was sated, but it had also stoked an appetite... an incredible appetite for more.

And Sohryu saw the hunger. He smiled more and ran a hand over Terazuma's sweaty chest. He lowered his head and licked over one nipple, making the shinigami whimper.

"Soh... ry.. u..."

"Just enjoy," came the rumble.

Oh, he was! He definitely was...

tbc...


	6. part 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preparing to leave for another day at the lake, a place he had come to treasure, Terazuma suddenly ran into someone he hadn't met before. The lion inside him winced away as he looked at the tall, broad-shouldered shikigami, dressed all in black, wearing a flowing coat with two tails. Black hair, falling down to touch his shoulder, golden eyes with slit pupils, and an aura you didn't need heightened senses to pick up.

It became a daily ritual. Terazuma woke, got dressed, had a brief breakfast that one of the numerous servants had prepared for him, then left the palace. He saw little of Byakko. He was the wind shikigami's guest, Byakko would take care of his needs, but he wasn't Terazuma's entertainer. The shinigami was glad that he was left alone. He hated crowds.

Preparing to leave for another day at the lake, a place he had come to treasure, Terazuma suddenly ran into someone he hadn't met before. The lion inside him winced away as he looked at the tall, broad-shouldered shikigami, dressed all in black, wearing a flowing coat with two tails. Black hair, falling down to touch his shoulder, golden eyes with slit pupils, and an aura you didn't need heightened senses to pick up.

Both men looked at each other, then the stranger smiled briefly.

"You must be our guest."

Terazuma found defiance and annoyance battle for the upper hand. "So what?"

Another smile, completely without any trace of humor. "Welcome to GensouKai."

And with that the stranger brushed past him, making his lion quiver, and Terazuma wondered who he was. He pushed the thought out of his mind and left the palace.

It was a brief walk to the lake, but today he felt like stretching his legs, so he took the long way. It was quite early and he knew he couldn't expect Sohryu to be there already.

He fell into a light jog, enjoying the summer wind that caressed his skin, his senses opening tentatively as they had done in the last few days. He smelled the grass and the water and the trees and the air, he saw the beauty of the landscape around him, he let the air touch him, caress him, let the sounds and smell and touch ease his mind.

Just a few weeks in GensouKai and he had started to unwind knots that been tied thirty years ago, and which had never been broken. A week with a man who not only taught him about how sensual the shikigami inside him was, but also how to enjoy this life as a possessed shinigami. There was nothing he could change, Sohryu had told him throughout one of their meetings. He had to accept it, had to work with it, had to live, not just exist.

Terazuma was starting to understand.

Leaving the paved way behind him he jogged into the small forest that would eventually end up at the lake.

Sohryu demanded little, except for his attention and his acceptance of the fact that he knew what he was talking about. After the initial rebellion inside the maverick shinigami, Terazuma had finally submitted to the other man, aware that Sohryu did indeed know a lot about parasite types, as well as cat shikigami.

As he neared the lake there was an odd sensation, and from one second to the next he was suddenly confronted with the image of Sohryu in his mind. Terazuma stumbled, gasping, and caught himself against a tree.

"What?" he whispered, shocked.

The image returned and emotions flood him. Quizzical at first, Then something like a rush of energy, like his climax, but without him physically reacting to it. Then the image was there again. Sohryu. Dressed in his light shirt with the widely cut neck, the dark pants that served only to show off those incredibly long legs, and his dark overcoat with its upraised collar.

Terazuma sank onto the soft earth, shaking. What was going on here?

More images followed, all not his own thoughts, all containing him and Sohryu, the lake and the emotion of gentleness, peace and satisfaction. The undertone wasn't even sexual, just pleasure. Pleasure and warmth and feeling so good.

"Hajime?"

He blinked, staring up the tall figure that hadn't been there before. He hadn't even heard him arrive!

"Sohryu?" he stuttered.

Blue eyebrows descended into a frown. "What happened?"

"I... nothing," he murmured and pushed himself up, swaying a little.

There was a flash of those strange emotions and the image of Sohryu appeared again, followed by happiness.

Shit!

"Hajime..."

"Leave me alone!"

He batted the hand that had reached out to help him away, and blindly walked down the path that led away from the lake.

Disappointment.

Question.

Sohryu?

 _No!_ he raged silently. _Shut up!_

Something curled up inside him, like a beaten puppy, he thought dimly.

Question.

Softer now. Unable to comprehend. Wanting to understand.

Lake?

Terazuma stopped, almost panting now, eyes wild, shaking his head.

"Who are you?" he yelled.

He didn't get an answer. Instead there was a hand touching him, catching his flailing fist that came crashing toward the 'attacker' and he gave a moan of denial.

"Calm down, Hajime. Everything's okay," Sohryu murmured into his ear as he caught him and held him close.

Terazuma felt helplessness rise inside him and he fought against it. He wasn't helpless! He had never been! He didn't rely on anyone, least of all his shikigami! He was independent! He needed nothing and no one... no one...

Loneliness. - Question. - Sohryu?

He groaned and his knees gave way under the constant batter of images and emotions. A cool hand touched his forehead and he briefly fought the touch, then surrendered. Closing his eyes, Terazuma sank into the embrace, tears sliding down his face.

He hadn't cried in ages. Not since... he had been a child.

"It's okay," Sohryu rumbled. "I expected this to happen, but not so soon. He was more desperate than I thought."

Terazuma breathed shakily, blinking his eyes open, aware that he was enveloped in a warm cocoon of silky clothes, feeling the shikigami's body heat.

"W...what?" he stuttered.

"Kagankokushunkei."

Terazuma didn't understand. He fought the embrace and Sohryu opened his arms, letting him sit up. "What about him?" he demanded.

"I felt his presence increase. The pain he's in is receding and he came forward."

What!

"What? What pain? What do you mean he came forward?"

Sohryu sighed and settled back against the tree behind him. "You still don't understand much about shikigami."

Terazuma frowned. "Enough," he muttered.

"You think we're here to be bonded to a shinigami, to enhance his powers, to serve him." Sohryu smiled a little. "We don't exist to be enslaved, Hajime. We exist independently, freely. If we're challenged, we test the challenger. If he or she is worthy, we decide to serve, to protect, to follow our master. True, the shinigami has our power at his disposal, but we gain from him in turn. A shikigami's strength grows with the strength of his master, Hajime."

"What's that got to do with me? I can't even control the damn thing!" he muttered.

"You always pushed him away. You didn't want him and he knows that. He wasn't asked if he found you worthy and you weren't asked if you wanted his partnership. In the last few days you've come to accept something about yourself, Hajime. You're more at peace with your inner self, so Kagankokushunkei has decided to risk coming forward, come out of the hiding place in your mind and soul he has chosen ever since you were united." Sohryu reached forward and drew a finger down Terazuma's cheek. "You're his master and he knows that. He respects you, but he is what he is. He is a parasite who will do everything in his power to keep you safe, to protect you, even if you didn't call him. But he's also a very sensuous being, something you know because you have his senses. He wants your approval, my friend."

"He was the one who sent me that stuff?" Terazuma exclaimed, aghast.

"Yes. Kagankokushunkei has decided you to be safe enough to communicate with." Sohryu smiled softly. "For a shikigami that was hated for so long by you, he's showing an incredible resilience and trust. He wants to be your protector, Hajime, he wants to be loved by you. All shikigami serving a master want his love."

There was a wistful note to his voice.

Terazuma was about to ask something, then thought better and pushed the question away. Instead he closed his eyes and shook his head. Kagankokushunkei was talking to him. Damn, it was freaky.

"I thought you guys would attack and potentially kill your master if you detected a weakness, not want his acceptance and love."

Sohryu gave him one of those gentle smiles again. "A master's weakness is reason to try and break free, yes. We grow strong through the psychic power of the shinigami we serve, so we also lose strength if the shinigami weakens. There is a moment in that partnership when we cannot stay with the master and we will fight for our freedom."

Terazuma frowned. What did that say about Tsuzuki? part of him wondered. He commanded twelve shikigami, Divine Commanders, so what did that make him strength-wise? He ignored that thought as well.

"Now what?" he murmured instead.

The question earned him a chuckle. "This isn't unexpected, Hajime, just sooner than I thought. Your shikigami is desperate for your love and approval, and maybe it's about time you got to know him, hm?"

"How?" he demanded, anger touching his voice. "Unlike your type, he can't just come out and we can shake hands!"

"No, of course not, but you can still get to know him." Sohryu rose and held out one hand. "Come. I'll show you."

Against his better judgment, Terazuma trusted the blue-haired shikigami. He took Sohryu's hand and let himself be guided.

"Why are you doing this?"

Amused eyes twinkled at him over the fresh, green grass that was all around them. Sohryu lay on his back, gazing at him upside down, his head bent all the way back, and he smiled.

"You keep asking, I keep telling you the same answer."

Terazuma lay down next to him, stretching out in the opposite direction so that only their heads lay next to each other.

"Yeah, yeah, you're saying it's because you can't see a fellow shikigami in pain."

"That's the truth. He's hurting and I felt it like a raw, open wound."

Terazuma rolled onto his stomach and rested his head on his crossed arms. Blades of grass tickled his skin and his sensitive nose picked up the smell of the warm earth, the fresh green... His senses were so finely attuned all of a sudden as if he had always been in balance with them.

"And what do you get out of it?"

A chuckle. "Same question, same question."

He glanced over his left elbow at the shikigami who looked so completely relaxed, so inviting, so... sexy.

 _Shit! I'm not into men!_ Terazuma stopped that train of thought, but his body begged to differ. Sohryu had shown him things he had never believed possible. He had shown him pleasure, had sated his hunger, had nursed a starving shikigami back to health and he had taught the shinigami who was possessed by it how to enjoy being touched again.

Ten days.

His life had been completely turned around in ten measly days. Sure, GensouKai had a different calculation of time than Meifu, but that didn't account for him suddenly enjoying male sex.

 _I'm not gay_ , he moaned to himself. _I'm not..._

And the more he fought it, the more he wanted this man.

He sighed.

Sohryu was silent, eyes closed, enjoying the sun as it was, his white shirt open and revealing a smooth, hairless chest he had touched before. Terazuma bit his lower lip, fighting the impulse to crawl over and kiss that inviting patch of skin, lick those nipples into hardness, listen to Sohryu's breathy moans. They had yet to get past second base, past touching and fondling, and Sohryu doing most of the work. He was hesitant of actively seeking what he wanted. So far the shikigami had somehow sensed his hunger and had fed him every time.

 _I'm not needy!_ Terazuma snarled softly. _I'm not the submissive who just takes and lets him play!_

Pride rose and he felt the Black One stir. Emotions trickled through, emotions of... wanting, of approving, of coaxing him gently.

Great, now the cat was telling him what to do!

The lion worked on instinct, Sohryu had told him. Most parasitic types were unable to communicate in human words. They relied on emotions and images, and their instinct guided them as to what was right or wrong.

Well, sometimes those instincts sucked, Terazuma thought glumly.

Another little push and he glared at the Black One.

 _Why don't you mind your own business, cat!_

But there was no denying the attraction and he suddenly found himself sitting next to his lover, looking down on the handsome man, taking in the lazy smile, the half-lidded eyes, those lips... and he kissed him.

Slow, gentle, tender... hands roaming over the exposed skin, along the line of the ribs, then up again... fingers brushing against the nipples he had thought about...

He stopped, pulling back, breathing hard.

"Hajime?" Sohryu questioned softly.

"I don't want to... use you," he stammered.

"You aren't. If I didn't want this, you'd know by now."

Terazuma felt something curl inside him and he didn't know whether it was fear or warmth. He had never initiated something like this, had only been given pleasure, and he knew he wanted more. So much more...

"Sohryu... I... never did something like this before..."

"Just do what feels good, Hajime. You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

Hesitantly Terazuma touched the soft skin again. Running his fingers over Sohryu's body he felt the shikigami shiver when he touched hot spots, heard the breaths turning into gasps. Testing, he ran a thumb over a peaked nipple once again, feeling his own body respond to the soft moan that elicited.

Sohryu liked this? Stroking over the hot skin Terazuma was fascinated by the way his lover acted in response, breathing harder, arching slightly... Terazuma took all the courage he could muster. Sohryu gasped, arching into his touch more violently than before, and Terazuma became bolder. Sohryu moaned again when he tested the feeling..

Terazuma grew braver. 'Just do what feels good' Sohryu had said. He knew what his lover had done with him, to him, and it had felt incredible. He began to explore the texture of his lover and caressed, ran teasing finger nails lightly over the hot skin.

Sohryu cried out, his hips twitching into his touch and Terazuma felt something shiver through him. He was doing this, he was creating such pleasure. His first explorations into male sex, into being the active part... Terazuma marveled at the simple effects, at the results.

Leaning over his lover, still stroking gently, he kissed Sohryu, drawing him in, meeting his harsh reply with softness. Sohryu was growing more and more restless, needy, urging him on verbally as well as with simple gestures.

"Hajime..." he whispered roughly. "Stop teasing!"

Terazuma wasn't actively trying to be cruel, but the words made him tremble with excitement. He had been unaware that his stumbling attempts were so arousing for the shikigami. When Sohryu surrendered, it was with a throaty moan, eyes screwed shut, face a mirror of ecstasy. His body tensed briefly, then he sank back with a harsh exhalation of air. Terazuma stroked over his lover's skin and Sohryu whimpered, highly sensitive at the moment.

Blue-gray eyes opened and gazed at him, filled with satisfaction and warmth. Sohryu reached for him and Terazuma leaned down into the tender kiss.

tbc...


	7. part 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Sohryu?"

They lay together in the afterglow of their encounter and Terazuma lazily threaded his fingers through the long, blue hair.

"Sohryu?"

"Yes?"

The shikigami had his eyes closed, his head resting on Terazuma's chest. It felt nice, comfortable... familiar.

"Can I ask you something personal?"

"What do you want to know?"

"You're a shikigami."

One eye opened, an eyebrow arching in an 'obviously' gesture.

"Do you also have a master?"

A slow smile curled the full lips. "Why do you ask?"

A shrug. "Curiosity?"

"Not every shikigami has a master."

"I know. So, you don't?"

Sohryu was powerful, of that Terazuma had no doubt. He had no idea what kind of shikigami he really was, who he was, and he had never wanted to know. It was something that didn't really interest him.

"I do. I have a master," was the calm reply.

"Ah."

Those blue-gray eyes regarded him solemnly. "Is that a problem for you?"

"No, was just curious as I said."

A mutual silence fell and Terazuma wondered who controlled his lover, who could call him. There were eighteen angels of death, him included, and a good 50 had at least two shikigami. Or more. Three of his closest coworkers didn't have a single one, each for different reasons. So there were fourteen left.

"It bothers you," Sohryu rumbled.

"No," he denied immediately.

"But you're thinking about it."

"Kinda."

"Why?"

A shrug. "Don't know."

"Liar."

Terazuma sighed. "It's just... he can call on you every moment, could summon you to fight his battles, and you would follow his call."

Sohryu smiled, not the least bit disturbed. "Of course I would. I protect him."

"Because he's more powerful than you."

"No, because I recognize him as a worthy master, an equal in many terms."

Terazuma looked into those sincere eyes. "Because you're his."

"Yes."

So simple. A shinigami could claim a shikigami, and he would have his loyalty, his love, his protection and servitude. It struck something inside Terazuma, something that couldn't agree with this 'contract'. He pushed it aside. It was an age-old argument of his. He had a shikigami himself, had never wanted him, but lately he had come to accept the cat.

Sohryu watched him, eyes very attentive. "I'm not a slave, Hajime. I serve my master, but he's not my owner. We respect each other. I truly love him for what he is; and I would die for him, defend him in battle."

Terazuma closed his eyes, shaking his head ever so slightly.

The shikigami pushed himself up and looked down on his lover. "Do you think less of me because I'm serving a shinigami master?"

"No! No, Sohryu, never. What irks me is the fact that someone conquered you just to fulfill his ego trip!"

He laughed. "That's truly not the fact."

Terazuma bit his lower lip, refusing to ask just who the master was. He was afraid of knowing the shinigami; hell, he would know him. There were not too many who had shikigami at their beg and call.

A gentle hand stroked over his face and hair. "It's a mute point to discuss my involvement with one of your kind. I've been his for many decades now. He never abused me, he barely calls on me, and we are partners. Just accept it, Hajime."

"I can't do anything but accept it," Terazuma muttered, feeling ill at ease with knowing that this man, this proud being, was under someone's command, was a servant.

"No, there's nothing you can do," Sohryu agreed.

He leaned down and kissed him, and Terazuma replied to the loving contact.

Their relationship was developing in leaps, Terazuma thought as he studied the man at his side, his teacher', his lover and the only person in his life as a shinigami who knew so much about him. Sohryu had listened to him when he talked, had just been there when Terazuma had needed to vent his frustration, his anger, his fears, and he had listened to his dreams, his hopes, his wants and needs. His simple presence helped. In the two weeks Terazuma was by now in GensouKai, so much had changed and a lot was due to the patience of this man.

"Sohryu?"

"Hm?" came the lazy reply.

Terazuma hesitated, feeling stupid. "I... I'd like to ask something. Promise not to laugh."

The shikigami turned on his stomach and looked at him. "I'd never laugh at you, Hajime. Ask."

"I like what we do... but... why do you choose a man over a woman? What's so special about it? A hand job isn't really... different from what I could do in my room."

He felt embarrassment flush his cheeks.

"Not that I don't enjoy your touch. I do. Very much. Just..."

Sohryu's smile widened, but he wasn't laughing. He sat up and leaned over, brushing their lips together.

"I was hoping you'd ask me one day."

"Huh?"

"I'll show you."

"Wha..."

A kiss silenced his question and while Sohryu leaned even closer he still left Terazuma enough room to push him away, to stop if he didn't want to. But the shinigami was curious and everything else so far had been quite pleasant. More than pleasant. It had been... a revelation.

Clothes were removed, hands stroked his skin and Terazuma closed his eyes, letting his senses take over as Sohryu had told him he should. The Black One purred in the back of his mind, liking the sensations coming in, just like he seemed to stretch out, turn into a tabby cat, whenever Terazuma did his Zen meditations, swam, or went through the moves of kendo.

A moan left his lips as Sohryu stroked and kissed and caressed him, touching his trigger spots, those hot places, and he reached for his gentle tormentor. His hands were caught, fingers entwined, and Sohryu blanketed his body, their lips meeting again.

The kiss was deep, loving, explorative, and Terazuma felt himself flow with the energies, his skin prickling with each contact. A hand closed around him, stroking gently, then with a little more pressure, only to lessen once more.

His breathing became harder.

So far, it was all like before. The touches, the kisses, the caresses.

"Hajime..." Sohryu whispered, his hand again down south again, playing with the evident sign of Terazuma's wants and needs.

"Yes?" he managed, then swallowed a gasp as those fingers brushed over the sensitive skin.

"I'll show you... but if you feel unwell, tell me..."

He didn't really understand, but still he nodded.

It felt so incredibly good, so fantastic, and it was a man doing this to him. A man... Sohryu...

"Soh...ryu?" he gasped.

"Relax," came the gentle purr.

"What are you..."

The strange feeling intensified and he gasped as it turned... pleasureful. Sohryu bent over him, kissing him deeply, still playing with him, and Terazuma found himself losing himself in that sensation.

His cry turned into a mewl of ecstasy.

Soft lips kissed his sweaty skin and he shivered as Sohryu caressed him. Everything felt hyper sensitive, down to his most intimate parts and Terazuma gasped softly at the sensations.

"Shhh..." the shikigami murmured, kissing one ear lightly. "Just feel it... let it slow down on its own... enjoy the afterglow."

Terazuma closed his eyes, aware of so much all of a sudden, so intense, so... perfect. Sohryu still caressed him, giving his senses a way to realign with normality, home in on his non-arousing contact, and after a while Terazuma finally opened his eyes. Sohryu smiled at him.

"So that's it?" the shinigami whispered.

"Part of it."

Terazuma wasn't an innocent concerning male sex; he knew what it could involve. He just hadn't lost a lot of thought concerning the deeper meanings of...well... that.

"So there's another lesson coming up?" he teased.

Sohryu chuckled. "If you want to."

He drew him down to kiss that wonderful mouth, enjoying the contact now that he didn't feel so sensually raw any more.

"I want to."

Hands caressed him, soothed him, held him. "Then I'll be happy to show you more, Hajime."

He smiled lazily, turning in the embrace of his lover. "Looking forward to it."

The day had started out nice enough, but the more it progressed, the more clouds covered the blue sky, and with it the sun, and the winds picked up. By the time Terazuma made his daily trip through the small forest to the lake, it was rather windy and the trees were waving their branches and leaves, creating a background noise to the occasional rumble from above.

Figures, Terazuma thought. A thunder storm was coming in. Sohryu had probably stayed home and if he had had at least given it a thought, so should have he. To his surprise, though, he was expected.

Long hair moving in the increasing wind, Sohryu stood next to the 'meeting tree', smiling at him.

"The weather is not in our favor today," he remarked as Terazuma walked closer.

The shinigami cast a critical eye toward the sky, feeling Kagankokushunkei move uneasily. The lion hated rain and thunderstorms, always trying to escape his host body without being able to. Terazuma had had hoped with the ease the shikigami had shown lately that problem had been solved, too. Apparently not.

"Yeah," he muttered, not looking forward to it all.

He would feel those moods again, he would feel the shifting and the pressure of the lion within him, and he would need a pack of cigarettes just to last through the rainy hours to come. It would most definitely be hours. This didn't look like a brief thunder storm at all. He felt chilled, and not all came from the ever-cooler growing wind.

Arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him to the warm body underneath the tree. Equally warms lips caught his, kissing him gently.

"Hajime?" Sohryu inquired softly.

"It's nothing. Just... he... well... gets kinda itchy throughout rain." He sighed, shaking his head. "I thought it might have gotten better as well."

Sohryu kissed him again, trailing a nibbling line down his jaw and neck. "Instinctive fear cannot be soothed by just a few days of meditation and relaxation. He needs to be distracted." Now those lips were close to his ear and Sohryu licked one tip, making Terazuma shiver.

"I don't think making out in the rain's gonna help," the shinigami remarked.

Sohryu laughed softly. "No, probably not, but there is somewhere you might like."

He gave his lover a critical eye, but the shikigami just smiled more.

"Come, I'll show you."

tbc...


	8. part 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hi!**

**Hi!**

 **One of the authors speaking (very briefly, I assure you). Looking at the comments (private or on the net) received so far (thank you all!), I wanted to say:**

 **1.) Catharsis is part of an ongoing series, so Sohryu is only out of character if you read this story while ignoring the others. The character is developing and no longer hates humans. We explained his reasons, too. Catharsis will pick up on that as well. The whole series can be found at  
**   
**.**

 **2.) Sohryu is an old shikigami (and still looks damn good), so he actually hasn't had that many relationships. In our series he had a fling with Touda when they were young, then he married (but Aya died), then came a long dry spell. The Sohryu/Rikugo pairing wasn't born out of love or anything, but we'll explain more about them in this fic, and now he has Terazuma. Considering we think he's about 600 years old... he was really rather selective ;) I  
doubt you can say he's been falling from one affair into the next ;)**

 **That's it! ;)**

 **Cheerios!**

 **Macx**

 **  


* * *

**

Sohryu led him deeper into the forest. Terazuma had been here before, had explored all there was around his vacation home, and he had found it to be as peaceful as it was free of people. Shikigami were numerous, Sohryu had told him once, but here, in the very heart of GensouKai, lived only the very powerful ones. Lower level shikigami disliked the close proximity of so much power and lived further away, sometimes so far that going there would take a day or more.

They arrived at a long stretch of grassland that went up a small hill, then curved gently downward to a wide expanse of untamed land. At least it looked untamed, but knowing the landscape artists around here, it had to be man made. There was rough grass, rocks, wild flowers, the occasional bush or tree, and there was a small building. It looked rustic, made of wood and elaborately decorated.

Thunder crackled in the distance, not too loud yet, but loud enough to announce the storm coming in. The wind had picked up and the grass was moving with every breath it took.

"Come on," Sohryu said and smiled more.

The building was large enough to be called a cabin, but very traditionally styled. It was unlocked and Sohryu walked inside as if he owned the place. Terazuma looked around, slightly surprised. There wasn't much, except a futon on the ground, a small stove, a shelf with assorted items, and even some toys. He shot his lover a quizzical look.

"Don't ask. It's a storage room, sometimes used by children to play in, and when I want to be alone and the weather is as it is now, I come here just to hear the rain beat against the roof."

As if on cue, the first droplets spattered against the window panes and Terazuma had to chuckle. He walked over to the door and closed it while Sohryu opened the fire place that adorned one wall.

"A small cabin, a fire place... If I didn't know it any better, I'd say you planned the weather just to get me here, Sohryu," he teased.

It got him a smirk. "How do you know I didn't?"

"I think you can do a lot, but influence the weather? No."

Sohryu got the fire going and turned toward him, smiling more. "Shikigami have strange powers."

"So do shinigami, but we don't do weather magic."

They embraced, Sohryu drawing him close and kissing again.

"Ah, well, maybe you just missed that particular lesson," he whispered against his lips.

"Hm, maybe I did."

The rain started to gain in strength and Terazuma felt the Black One move restlessly. He closed his eyes, fighting down the urge to do the same. A hand on his face made him look at his lover.

Thunder rumbled and Terazuma flinched as Kagankokushunkei's presence grew.

"He's nervous of the thunder storm," Sohryu whispered. "Relax. Let me help you show him it's actually nothing to be afraid of..."

And then those lips were back again. Terazuma tried to lose himself in the contact, held his lover tightly, and for a moment he forgot all about the lion, the rain, the moods, as Sohryu played his fingers along those hot spots that made his knees go weak.

His shirt went.

As did his shoes and pants.

And suddenly he lay on the futon, naked, his lover kneeling over him, chest bare, pants open, looking delectable.

Terazuma let his flat hands run over that defined chest, exploring the firm planes, teasing a nipple as he continued. Sohryu leaned forward, his hair cascading over them like a living, silky curtain, and he caught the teasing hands, pushing them over his head. Terazuma playfully fought the hold, nipping at the lips that were crushing his. Sohryu continued his slow path of kisses down his neck and Terazuma closed his eyes with a breathy whisper as he found another sensitive spot. His hands were still in a light grip above his head, but Sohryu let go of him as he began a trail down south. Terazuma left them there anyway, now completely losing himself in that sensation, feeling and sensing only him, only Sohryu, while around them the rain was still increasing.

Thunder rumbled closer and the Black One whimpered, pushing forward, but the rush of emotions from the shinigami he possessed rose against the lion, over him, around him. Terazuma was hardly aware of his shikigami's actions as Sohryu did wonderful things with his mouth and fingertips.

He cried out in appreciation, wanting more, and Sohryu was only too glad to give it to him.

Too much. So very much. His brain misfired and he moved into the contact, wanting more, needing more, needing the rush those actions had created the last time.

"Sohryu!" he whimpered, clearly begging now.

The rain pounded the roof and the storm was now right above them, shaking the roof tiles, the cabin, raging over the land, but Terazuma couldn't care less.

"Sohryu... want you..." he moaned.

Blue-gray eyes regarded him, filled with need and lust, and suddenly the tall shikigami leaned over him, their bodies touching in the most wonderful ways.

"Hajime," he whispered roughly. "Do you trust me?"

He nodded, arms coming up to stroke and caress his lover, feeling the hot skin, the tension in the lean frame. "Yes."

Terazuma heard his hammering heartbeat, the blood rushing through his ears, and he felt Sohryu's body blanketing his, harsh breathing caressing his slick skin.

"Hajime?"

"I'm fine," he answered the unspoken question, aware of the mild burn where they had been joined. "More than fine." Terazuma gave him a lazy, satisfied grin, then pulled him down into a kiss.

Sohryu tenderly kissed him back, soothingly stroking over his sweaty skin. Terazuma felt pleasantly exhausted and despite the feeling that he would be damned sore tomorrow, already felt sore, he couldn't think of anything better than this moment.

"So that's the secret, huh?" he whispered.

Sohryu chuckled. "Yes."

He hummed, almost purring, feeling nothing of his shikigami but shared bliss. The rain and storm had been forgotten as the Black One had been taken with his host on a ride of his life.

They rolled into a loose embrace and Terazuma soon felt himself doze off, safe and secure in his lover's arms. It was still raining, it was still rather windy, as gusts hit the cabin, but he couldn't care less. He felt good. Very, very good.

Terazuma felt like whistling. He walked through the growing dusk toward the palace that was Byakko's humble residence in this gigantic city without a name. Today had been good. It had been more than good; it had been fantastic.

The lion seemed to agree with him, radiating pleasure and sleepy laziness. For the first time in all his life Terazuma thought he might just come to accept the shikigami.

"Hey, Terazuma!"

The cheerful voice that had grated on his nerves not too long ago floated over to him and he found himself almost smiling at Byakko. He caught himself at the last moment.

"Byakko."

"Had a nice day?" the tiger asked politely.

Oh, if you only knew how well... Terazuma shut down on that thought, his body tingling pleasantly. The lion almost purred.

"Yeah, kinda."

"Good. Looks like being here isn't so bad, hm?" Byakko grinned.

"Nah."

He walked past the shikigami, unwilling to talk more. He might just spill something. He had no idea how Byakko would react to him sleeping with one of his own kind.

Terazuma didn't see the sudden frown on the smooth, youngish face, the red eyes narrowing in thought, and the nose flaring a little. Byakko's tail twitched, twirled and then curled in what could be called a confused question mark. Finally the wind God walked into his palace, deep in thought.

Night had fallen over GensouKai and Byakko had finally made it to bed, snuggling up against his naked lover, who had been busy all day. Touda wrapped an arm around him, noting the detached air of the white tiger, how he appeared to be thinking of something. It wasn't unusual for Byakko to ponder daily problems even in bed, but this looked different.

"Touda?" Byakko asked after a while, snuggling closer.

"Yes?"

The tail twitched, swishing across the bed, and Touda frowned a little. Now that was a clear sign of agitation. If all else fails, look at the tail, he always told himself.

Byakko was silent, not looking at him, a mild frown on his face. The tail twitched more, beating across his skin. He liked the feel of the soft fur, but at the moment Touda thought few erotic thoughts. Something was bothering his lover.

"What's wrong?" he finally asked.

"Nothing."

That had been too quick. He grabbed the tail and held on.

"Wanna try again?"

"It's really nothing, uh..."

The tail twitched, even in his grasp, and Touda tugged lightly.

"Liar. Now tell. You're bursting with something and it's not helping that you bottle it up."

A sigh. Then, "Eh, how well do you know Sohryu?"

Touda frowned a little, caught off guard. He hadn't expected that. "We grew up together."

"That's not how I meant it. I meant, how... well... do you... know... uhm... him...?"

Eyebrows raised. "You mean... personally?"

"Kinda. Very personally..." Byakko cleared his throat. "I mean, I've known Sohryu for all my life and well, he never had many partners, you know. Aside from Aya, who I never got to meet. And later... not that I noticed, aside from a... err... well... At least nothing permanent."

Touda's frown deepened. What was going on here? Byakko couldn't possibly know about Rikugo, now could he?

"Byakko, stop babbling. What's wrong?" he demanded, still holding the nervously twitching tail.

"Uh, I met Terazuma today."

"Stop changing the subject!"

"I'm not," the tiger protested. "When I walked past him I smelled something on Terazuma... something that's suspiciously like... uh... Sohryu?"

Blink. "Sohryu?"

"Yes. And it smelled... quite intense."

"Intense?"

Was there an echo in here?

"Like, very close..."

"How close?"

"Close close. Close like... us... after a particularly hot night... or day..."

"How sure are you?" Touda asked, shock settling in.

No way! No way was Sohryu...

"Very."

"Are you certain?"

Byakko sat up and scowled at the other man. "This is a cat's nose," he told him firmly, pointing at his nose. "I'm 110 certain. There's no way they just bumped into each other after they jerked off on their own in solitary confinement!"

Touda winced. He hadn't needed that picture. Sometimes his lover could be very... descriptive.

"So you think Sohryu slept with Terazuma?"

"I don't think, I know! I smelled it, for crying out loud! It was as clear as if he had written it down somewhere! Or showed me the dirty pictures!"

Touda sat up, scrubbing a hand over his face. "Damn," he whispered. "What's he thinking?"

"About as much as I did, probably, when I slept with you," was the light answer.

Touda scowled. Sohryu... first Rikugo, now a shinigami! And he hadn't even thought of him switching partners! Shit, what was that dragon thinking? Rikugo was a measure of safety because he was a shikigami in this realm, but someone from the outside? A place Sohryu had had qualms with not too long ago?

Great! Wonderful! Just perfect!

He knew just who to talk to first thing come morning...

"Touda?" Byakko asked carefully. "You okay?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, I don't think it's bad. Might be a bit difficult if they keep it up after Terazuma has left," the wind shikigami went on, voice thoughtful.

Touda snorted. What an understatement! Sure, shikigami could manifest in Meifu, even in their human form, and even if not summoned, but Touda had a hard time seeing Sohryu do just that. A very hard time.

He had to talk to the dragon.

As soon as possible...

tbc...


	9. part 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was respect, though, and there was blind obedience. Touda had never been blind, not even with all his senses caged in with the visor. He spoke his mind and he had never feared the consequences. Sohryu needed opposition to think, to fire up that agile brain of his. Rikugo had held that position as personal opposition for a long time and still did, but Touda had another place.

Touda held a deeply ingrained respect for Sohryu. They had grown up together, had had a brief encounter in their young lives, a very intimate encounter, and when Sohryu had become Protector of the East and with it the leader of the shikigami, of GensouKai, Touda's respect had still grown. He had been his First General, the highest ranking of his military advisers, and even throughout the years spent under the control device he had never lost his respect.

There was respect, though, and there was blind obedience. Touda had never been blind, not even with all his senses caged in with the visor. He spoke his mind and he had never feared the consequences. Sohryu needed opposition to think, to fire up that agile brain of his. Rikugo had held that position as personal opposition for a long time and still did, but Touda had another place.

He was free to kick some ass when he wanted to.

Today was such a day.

He caught Sohryu in his private chambers, pouring over reports, and when the serpent closed the door after himself, blue-gray eyes rose briefly to scowl at him.

"Care to explain yourself?" Touda asked, voice dead quiet.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing," Sohryu replied. "I think I remember telling my personal assistant that I didn't want to be disturbed."

Touda smirked. "You better tell him again."

"Apparently." The scowl was still there. "To what do I owe the pleasure, Touda?"

"I want to know if you lost the last of your marbles, Sohryu! What the hell are you thinking sleeping with a shinigami?"

Sohryu placed his pen on the desk, exhaling slowly. "I don't see where that's any of your business."

"I made it my business!" came the angry reply. "First Rikugo and now a shinigami? You can't just go around sleeping with shinigami!"

Sohryu stared at him like a goldfish, mouth opening, then closing again.

"Rikugo?" he then finally managed.

Touda smirked. He had never told his friend about that piece of knowledge.

"How do you...?"

"I have eyes," the serpent said cooly.

"What!"

He sighed. "Sohryu, I caught you two by accident. There wasn't even anything incriminating, but I added a few things, watched you a few times, and then I knew. I didn't know you were sleeping with the enemy."

Sohryu gritted his teeth. "Rikugo is not an enemy."

"Right. And I'm an angel. You two are at each other's throat more often than not! It's part of life around here. I would be severely disturbed if a week goes by without you shooting each other those looks or having an argument." He tilted his head, smirking. "But I never had you figured as someone like that, dragon. You caught me by surprise. What started that particular by-play, hm?"

"I had my reasons," was the growled reply.

"I see. And they are?"

"It's my business what I do in my free time, Commander! I'm not asking what you do with Tsuzuki through the bond either!"

The moment it was out, the room temperature changed dramatically. Touda froze, eyes narrowing, face a mask.

Sohryu sighed and closed his eyes, fingers massaging his forehead. That had come out... wrong. That shouldn't have come out at all.

"I apologize... That was uncalled for," he murmured, the pressure behind his eyes rising.

"Very much so," was the frosty answer.

He leaned back in his chair, shaking his head. What had made him attack Touda with the only means of inflicting soul-deep pain? Ever since the dream incident it was a sore spot. The connection between Touda and Tsuzuki was something sacred for the fire serpent and his one slip had nearly cost him everything, including his life.  
Sohryu knew Touda would never dream of abusing the link, the constant connection that balanced their powers, that allowed Tsuzuki a freedom in his life he had never had before. Touda was the counterweight to the darkness inside the young shinigami; nothing more, nothing less. Implying that he used it for something like this... for sex...

Damn, Sohryu thought, wishing the headache would stop.

"Touda... what Terazuma and I share... is within our private realms."

"You hide it poorly."

He cocked one eyebrow. "So it seems. You know. I assume Byakko does, too?"

"He found out about it."

"Ah." He was silent for a beat or two. "How?"

"Terazuma apparently reeked of it."

"Ah."

He should have expected that. Their last encounter had been quite... intense. For both of them. Sohryu still remembered the waves of ecstasy coursing through his lover, how Terazuma had finally let go and simply accepted what Sohryu was willing to give.

"Do you intend to pursue this after he's gone?" Touda asked, voice still cooler than normal.

"Why? Are you his chaperone?"

The golden eyes narrowed. "No, I'm just reasonable! Sohryu, he's a shinigami! His place is not here, neither is your place with him in Meifu!"

"I know that. I never claimed I loved him, Touda."

The fire serpent gave him a startled look. "What?"

"What Terazuma and I share is something else. We're both aware of it. As he tells me again and again, he isn't 'gay', as they call this kind of relationship in the world of the living. I helped him find a compromise with his shikigami and we both received some pleasure out of it. This is temporary."

So just why did it sound like a lie in his ears? Sohryu mused, then pushed those thoughts away.

Touda's face gave nothing away, not even those golden eyes. He fixed Sohryu with a level look.

"I approve of the changes in you," the fire serpent finally said. "I just don't know if this is a phase or something more permanent."

Sohryu frowned a little. "A phase?"

Touda sighed deeply. "Sohryu, you're our leader. I always respected that, I always will. I didn't think it was wise when you decided to take on Rikugo on a more personal level..."

"You mean fuck him," was the crude reply.

Touda shrugged.

"I told you, my reasons are my own. I don't have to explain myself to you."

"I'm just being reasonable."

Sohryu knew that. Touda had been his friend and trusted Commander in the past and ever since he knew the truth about his black-out that had resulted in his incarceration for so many centuries he had come to see him as a friend again. Touda looked out for him, but Sohryu was perfectly able to do that himself. His didn't have to justify his choices. Rikugo... well, he couldn't explain those actions to anyone, not even himself. Terazuma... was different. He felt it, he knew it.

"I appreciate your concern, Touda. I appreciate your openness. Terazuma isn't Rikugo and what I share with him is on a different level."

The serpent sighed again. "Well, it's your decision in the end. Your problem."

"Thank you for realizing that."

It got him a brief glare.

Sohryu rose from his chair and walked around the desk.

"Touda, I appreciate the concern. I know you want to protect me. Just trust in my judgment."

Golden eyes met blue-gray ones, then Touda just nodded briskly.

"Thank you."

The black shikigami finally left, looking neither happy nor unhappy. Just... concerned. Sohryu watched him go, finally looking at the closed door.

There was nothing to be concerned about. This wasn't love; there were no deeper feelings involved.

It was just a mutual liaison, an understanding between two people who needed it for different reasons. Sohryu enjoyed showing Terazuma just what he could experience, what he could feel, and how wonderfully sensitive he was. The shikigami that possessed him was a sensuous one, and so was the shinigami carrying it.

When Terazuma returned to his world, things would be back to normal. It was a fling, Sohryu thought, a note of sadness entering his thoughts. It was a brief affair.  
In a few days it would be over.

Terazuma felt good with himself and the world, even if it was this world. Not his own. Thinking about the ever closer growing time he had to go back to Meifu somehow filled him with reluctance. He had no purpose here in GensouKai, except the forced vacation Konoe had sent him on. He was a visitor, a guest, something like a tourist.  
Terazuma snorted as he walked down the beautifully sculpted path of an equally breathtaking landscape garden. Everything in this place was beautiful, though there were rougher spots, as Byakko had told him. GensouKai center was the safest place, a place of peace and quiet.

Something small and round bounced across the path not far from him and he stopped, following the round object as it crossed the immaculate lawn and then plunged down the incline toward the tiny lake, where it immediately fell in. Terazuma was just about to wonder what was going on when a child ran after what had to be a ball. She tore across the path, down the grassy knoll and finally splashed into the lake, grabbing for the ball.

Terazuma had to smile at the picture. Small hands reached for the ball, but the waves she had created pushed it away from her. With a few steps the shinigami was at the lake and reached for the toy.

"Here you go," he said, holding the wet ball out to the girl.

She took it with both hands, large blue eyes looking at him. "You're our visitor, right?" she asked, smiling at him.

"Yes, I am. My name's Terazuma."

She beamed. "I'm Tenkou."

"Nice to meet you Tenkou." Terazuma frowned a little. "How come you know I'm a visitor?"

"You're a shinigami. I can tell. You feel like a shinigami."

Well, that was obvious. Every shikigami here could tell what he was.

"And father told me we had a visitor. You work with Tsuzuki, right?"

Terazuma shot her a surprised look. "Uh, yeah. You know Tsuzuki?"

She nodded eagerly. "Of course I do. He's my master."

Terazuma nearly swallowed his tongue. He felt his throat constrict at the words, his heart miss a beat, and his eyes widened in horror. This little kid was one of Tsuzuki's shikigami? One of the twelve?

Shit, he must have been desperate to challenge a kid! he thought angrily. She was barely out of her diapers!

tbc...


	10. part 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "My master. He's really, really nice."

"He's what?" he croaked.

"My master. He's really, really nice."

Terazuma felt confusion grow.

"He challenged you?" he blurted.

Tenkou scrunched up her little nose. "Silly, no!"

"But..."

"My father challenged him and lost. So when he lost, my brother Kijin and I became Tsuzuki's shikigami, too. I like Tsuzuki. He's really nice and he loves me." She beamed again, clearly adoring the shinigami who was her master.

Her father had done what! Terazuma could only think. Since when did shikigami go around challenging shinigami?

"Who's your father?" he wanted to know.

"He's the Protector of the East. He makes everything work around here. That's his palace." She gestured at the main building of the central GensouKai part.

It was a huge palace, one Terazuma had noticed right from the first day on. It was colossal but still an architectural masterpiece, and clearly the palace of the ruler of this place.

Tsuzuki is master of the ruler of GensouKai?

And his kids?

His thoughts were whirling. Of course, Tsuzuki commanded four Gods, one of them the Protector of the East, but Terazuma had never really given it much thought.

A small hand tugged at his sleeve. "Come. I'll show you my home. You can visit my father with me."

Like in a trance he followed the child, unable to comprehend the full implications. Tsuzuki commanded the Protector of the East and his two kids, and this shikigami had challenged him? Why?

Tenkou kept talking, about this and that, about her father, her brother, and about Tsuzuki. There was a child-like adoration like Terazuma had never heard it before. This kid clearly loved the amethyst eyed man. They entered the palace and nobody stopped them. Those he encountered just bowed to the child, giving him no second look, and Tenkou ignored them.

"Uh, you really think we can just walk in here?"

"Sure! I come here all the time. Sometimes daddy's busy, then I leave, but sometimes we play a little."

Well, he wasn't here to play with Tenkou's father and Terazuma wasn't really sure he should just waltz into a place like this, meet the ruler of GensouKai. Especially not if he was also Tsuzuki's shikigami.

"What's your father's name?" he asked.

His knowledge of shikigami and Gods was abysmal. If not for Byakko's frequent appearances he wouldn't even know his name. He only knew him as a God and Protector of the West. He had no idea who Tsuzuki's shikigami were, aside from those he called upon in battle.

"He's Sohryu," Tenkou declared proudly. "The Sky Dragon."

Terazuma felt like someone had kicked him in the stomach. With steel-plated shoes.

Sohryu.

The Sky Dragon. The Azure Dragon and Protector of the East.

A God.

One of Tsuzuki's shikigami.

And the list went on.

He had slept with...

The shinigami stumbled in shock. No, impossible! There had to be another shikigami with the same name!

But the blue hair... Tenkou's hair... and she was his kid...

He had slept... with one of the four Gods. He had...

Shii-it!

Stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid!

And it had felt so good. So wonderful, so... nice... great... incredible...

 _I slept with a God..._

Unnoticed they had entered the great hall that was the main office and heart of the palace. Terazuma blinked.

It was pure chaos.

People were running around, talking with each other, creating a hubbub of noise that seemed to drown out the rest. There were computers, monitors, scanners, whatever. It looked like the heart of a business company. In the middle of the array of screens and computer was a slightly elevated throne-like chair. In front of it stood a heavy desk, laden with paper, and people were still depositing more on it.

And there, in the middle of it all, stood a tall, well-known figure. The dark blue hair was bound back in an elaborately styled knot that kept it out of his eyes and piled it higher up on his head. Golden clasps and tresses, needles and other decoration adorned it. Long strands fell heavily down the back. The robes were multi-layered, hiding a figure Terazuma had touched before, had seen in all its glory. Each piece of clothing spoke of expensive tailoring, of power, of representation. The sleeves alone were large enough someone could use them as a bedspread.

He stared at the figure, disbelief crowding with awestruck amazement.

Sohryu.

This was the real Sohryu.

The man he had slept with. He had slept with a God.

"There's daddy," Tenkou interrupted his shocked thoughts. "He looks busy..."

Terazuma was a silent and awed, as well as stunned witness to the sheer work it meant to be the head of GensouKai. Everybody seemed to want a piece of Sohryu and while there were assistants, people still flocked toward him.

Suddenly the powerful shikigami raised his head and blue-gray eyes met blood red ones. Terazuma froze, caught in the act of spying, and tried to shrink back into the shadows. The smile that briefly graced the almost haughty and arrogant features let him stop, though.

Tenkou waved, smiling brightly, and she received a nod. For just a moment there was warmth, then it was wiped away as someone demanded Sohryu's attention again.

Terazuma exhaled slowly, then slid out of the noisy room, his ears ringing a little. His senses were overloading with the input and not even his shikigami could dampen the signals.

Tenkou was skipping at his side, talking about something or other, then she suddenly waved and ran off, her red ball still clutched in her hands. Terazuma felt his head spinning, all of it too much and too sudden.

He walked along the corridors, breathing deeply, hands in his pockets.

What now?

He had slept with one of Tsuzuki's shikigami, with the Protector of the East! Well, shit, he couldn't stay here!

"Going somewhere?"

The voice made him whirl around and he gasped as he discovered the very person he had thought about right in front of him. An amused expression danced in those blue-gray eyes.

"Home," the shinigami snarled and tried to turn.

He didn't get far. A strong hand clamped down on his arm and pulled him into a room close by. The door snapped shut and he was alone with his lover; well, Sohryu.

Red eyes met serene blue-gray ones. Terazuma was seething with anger, but it wasn't the anger of before. It wasn't that cold rage, that feeling of injustice, that feeling of... betrayal...?

He felt betrayed right now. Deceived. But differently.

"You lied to me!" he growled.

"No, I didn't," Sohryu answered softly. "You never asked."

Terazuma snarled, eyes narrowing. "You're the goddamn leader of this world and Tsuzuki's shikigami! You could have lost one word about it, but no! You played me like a fiddle! You used me!"

"No."

"Yes! What am I? Just another toy? A possible conquest? Never fucked a shinigami before? Was I a novelty!"

The Black One was stirring, but he was confused as to why the target was Sohryu. His respect for the more powerful shikigami was deeply ingrained.

"Hajime..."

"Don't call me that!" he spat. "Don't even try to explain yourself! I know what you are! You're a liar! You used me to fulfill your desire. Well, guess what? I don't need you! Go and find someone else!"

And with that he left the room, banging the door shut behind him. Anger and disappointment dominated his thinking as he fled the palace, unseeing, feeling only the betrayal and lies.

 _How could I have been so stupid? How could I have trusted him? I slept with a man... I'm not gay! I slept with a God... I'm not GAY! I don't prefer men to women... but it felt so good. I trusted him. I trusted the bastard! He lied to me!_

Thoughts chased each other, one worse than the next.

He finally arrived in Byakko's palace and shut the door of his room behind himself. It was where he spent the next two days, glumly staring out of the window. Thankfully no one tried to talk to him. Thankfully Byakko was busy and Touda wasn't around. Thankfully...

And it hurt so much. The lies, the misled trust.

You were never a good detective, Hajime, he thought sourly. Or you would have seen through his façade. He used you for his own pleasure. He's the top dog, can have anyone, and he fucked the novelty.

Congratulations.

He left GensouKai on the third day, right on the appointed time. He felt nothing as the gate swallowed him. Nothing at all.

Sohryu sat in his private quarters, leaning back into the large pillows of the couch, eyes distant. A tea set stood next to him, the liquid cooling, untouched. No one dared to disturb the dragon and he was thankful for it. His headwoman had shot him worried looks, but he had ignored her. He didn't want to talk, nor did he want to hear good advice.

Terazuma had left GensouKai. Just like it had always been clear that he would do one day. His stay had been limited. But the circumstances how he had left deeply disturbed him.

 _I never lied to you_ , Sohryu thought, sighing. _I never wanted to betray your trust._

He just hadn't added the small side note as to who he was in this world. It had been of no importance nor consequence to him. It had been to Terazuma.

 _Why didn't I tell him? Was I afraid of his reaction? Why? It was just an affair, just a mutual agreement to give each other a good time._

So why did it hurt so much?

tbc...


	11. part 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The apartment was small, a one bedroom affair with a pantry kitchen and a tiny excuse for a balcony. The hardwood floor and the brick walls were a plus, though. It was rustic in its look and belonged to several dozens of its kind in an old warehouse district that had been abandoned and later restored as a living area.

Part II - Development

The apartment was small, a one bedroom affair with a pantry kitchen and a tiny excuse for a balcony. The hardwood floor and the brick walls were a plus, though. It was rustic in its look and belonged to several dozens of its kind in an old warehouse district that had been abandoned and later restored as a living area.

Sitting on the slightly beaten looking couch, Terazuma Hajime stared out the window, one of many cigarettes of the day between his lips. The ash bin was overflowing with the butts and he had spent more than enough money on supplying his nicotine habit in the last two weeks. They tasted terrible. Always had, always did, always would, but right now he couldn't care less.

A mug of by now cold coffee stood on the low table next to the couch, untouched. Caffeine didn't help at all. Neither did the smoking, for that matter, but he didn't stop anyway.

Sohryu had lied to him.

Those lines kept running around in his head. Sohryu had lied, had deceived him, had played him.

Terazuma stubbed out his cigarette and stood abruptly, pacing the small confines.

The shikigami had played with his emotions, had used him... and he had fallen for it. He had opened up to a complete stranger - so not his usual behavior - had let him touch him in ways no man had ever touched Terazuma before... and he had slept with him.

He screwed his eyes shut, gritting his teeth. It had been good. It had been so incredibly good, and the argument and protest of I'm not gay' was slowly getting weaker. He was a shinigami. To hell what anyone thought of him! To hell with prejudice! He could do whatever he wanted in his private time... even sleep with one of Tsuzuki's shikigami...

Red eyes opened and blearily gazed at the busy world outside.

"Why was I so stupid?" he moaned. "Why me?"

He took another cigarette, lit it, and there was a little whine from the shikigami inside him. He was about to lash out, tell the stupid cat what he thought it could do with its protests, but then he stubbed out the cigarette.

It wasn't the lion's fault. It was his own. He had let his guard down, he had let his need take over, and for a brief time it had been so good to have someone touch him.

An image of Sohryu appeared, a tentative, quizzical message from his shikigami.

"No," he whispered. "That's over."

Another whine, but the Black One curled up, confused.

As was Terazuma. His emotions were so confusing, so strange, and he didn't like it. Sohryu had done something to him, and that was why the lie had hurt even more.

Leaning his head against the wall, Terazuma wished he could just wipe it all away, forget about those days. He couldn't. It had been too good.

So he had to live with the pain.

Two weeks had passed since Terazuma's return from his forced vacation. Wakaba had been overjoyed to have her partner back again, but she had also noticed the changes. First of all, and most positive, was that there seemed to be a manner of more self-control. It had shown itself when she had hugged him without really thinking about it - and he hadn't changed.

So GensouKai had worked its magic somehow, had balanced him, had started to even him out, smooth some ruffled fur. But there was also a new kind of tension and the bristling toward Tsuzuki had taken a turn for the worst. Poor Tsuzuki had no idea what was going on and he was completely clueless as to why Terazuma was even more aggressive toward him than usual.

He seemed to despise him for simply existing. Just entering the shared office was reason for Terazuma to growl and the tension rose. Verbal stabs, snide remarks and derogatory attacks multiplied. It grew worse each day and there was only a brief reprieve when one of them was on a case.

"Why don't you mind your own business, you brainless moron?" Terazuma snapped and glared at his hapless colleague.

Tsuzuki bristled. Two weeks of constant abuse had worn him thin. Very thin. Verbal sparring had taken on an even nastier touch and by now he felt the whole situation was reaching its peak.

"I would, if a certain mutant wasn't so hair bent on being in my way all the time!" he snarled back.

Terazuma bristled in turn, staring at him, baring his teeth. "Who are you calling a mutant, idiot? How about you look into a mirror first and then call other people names? I wonder why Enma took pity on you and made you a shinigami! No one else would have taken you, huh?"

Tsuzuki recoiled, feeling something inside him rise to that remark. Sore spot. Very sore spot.

"At least I wasn't stupid enough to be saddled with a parasite!" he whispered harshly.

"No, you have twelve of them! Did they take pity on you, too? Do you like having twelve personal servants, slave master?"

The darkness rose and Tsuzuki felt no inclination to control it. The hateful words hurt - a lot. It was the accusation against his shikigami, against him, that he would abuse them, that he had enslaved them.

"We settle this now! Once and for all!"

"Yeah, why don't we! I'll show you who's superior!"

"Hajime!"

The call cut through the air and Wakaba sprinted down the corridor, placing herself between the two combatants.

"Hajime, stop!"

"He started it!"

"You were the one who assaulted me!" Tsuzuki snapped back.

A hand curled around his wrist, pulled him back with force, and he glared at the one who dared to interrupt. Green eyes looked back coldly, a pale face set in a decisive mask.

"Tsuzuki, stop it!"

"Oh, lover-boy comes to rescue you!" Terazuma taunted.

The darkness crackled dangerously.

"Tsuzuki!"

Something inside the furious shinigami rose, but it wasn't the power that was threatening to cut lose. It was like a weight pulling it back down, a cool, firm touch.

:Tsuzuki:

He was pulled back further away from Terazuma, who had Wakaba moving him in the opposite direction. Tsuzuki growled softly, then tore his hand out of Hisoka's grasp, feeling anger and an old pain swirl inside him. Touda held back the innate power that made him so dangerous, counteracting all spikes, calming the waves.

:Tsuzuki?' : the shikigami asked.

:I'm fine:

Ignoring Hisoka, he walked briskly down the corridor until he reached an intersection, then blindly just went down one way. It wasn't until he had reached one of the outmost sections of the judicial building that he stopped and leaned against the wall, inhaling deeply.

"Shit."

:A good summary of the situation: Touda remarked wryly. :What happened?' :

:Terazuma happened! Over the last weeks he's been homing in on me like a cruise missile, always spoiling for a fight. Today... today was the last straw: He sank down the wall and took a few more steadying breaths. :Ever since he came back from GensouKai, something has changed. He's... well, he's even worse than before... Touda? What happened over there?' : he asked softly.

Silence.

:Touda?' :

:Nothing happened:

Okay, that had been too fast. The anger still present, Tsuzuki turned his full attention toward the bond, not holding back what he felt. And it was a lot right now. Terazuma had hit several raw nerves and sore spots. He had hit Tsuzuki where it not only stung but was pure agony.

:Do I have to come over and ask you in person or are you gonna tell me the truth?' :

A sigh answered him. :He found someone over here: he finally said. :They grew close. Intimately close:

Tsuzuki blinked in surprise. He hadn't expected that kind of explanation. :Oh. Well, that's great! Uh... there are only shikigami in GensouKai.:

:Obviously:

:So, Terazuma found a shikigami girl-friend:

Touda hesitated.

:Touda?' :

:Yes:

:Who is it?' :

:Uhm... well...:

:Someone I know?' :

:Yes:

:Ah. So, who's the lucky lady?' : Tsuzuki asked curiously, the anger almost evaporated.

:It's not... a lady:

Silence.

:Ah. Okay. Well, he always had a problem with women touching him. So... a man?' :

:Yes:

:Terazuma... and a man. Well, okay...: Tsuzuki shrugged. :Why the aggression then? Why me? Did they break up?' :

Touda sighed deeply, shifting a little. :Terazuma found out who the man he slept with was:

A frown :He knew he was a shikigami, right? I mean he has to be stupid not to realize that:

:It's not that: was the quiet answer. :He never knew who he was in this realm, Tsuzuki. He didn't know his position:

Tsuzuki frowned more. :Come again?' :

Touda exhaled slowly. :If you had slept with your first male partner and then found out he's not only a high level shikigami, a Divine Commander, but also the leader of the realm you're currently in - and a colleague's shikigami... well, I guess you'd be pissed as well:

Tsuzuki's jaw hit the floor. For a full minute his mind was torn between a total blank and shock.

tbc...


	12. part 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :Well, more like Sohryu slept with Terazuma, but essentially, yes, they got together:

:S-s-sohryu?' : he finally stammered. :Terazuma slept with Sohryu?' :

:Well, more like Sohryu slept with Terazuma, but essentially, yes, they got together:

Another long minute of shock.

:Oh... my... well... yes...: Tsuzuki stuttered, trying to combine the information and the image of the two men he had. :Sohryu...:

:The big blue one, yes:

:I know who he is!': he snapped.

Touda chuckled wryly. :Of course you do:

:But... how...?' :

Another chuckle. :Don't tell me I've to explain to you how it works, Tsuzuki: The serpent grinned evilly. :Then again, I just might. Tell me, how far have you and Hisoka progressed?' :

Tsuzuki flushed. :None of your business:

:Ah, I see. Not that far then. Maybe I've to explain it to you after all:

:Touda!':

Laughter answered him and it sounded wonderful in Tsuzuki's ears. Despite the serious situation of before, hearing Touda laugh was something he had rarely heard before. Ever since Byakko that had changed, though.

:So... so Terazuma slept with him and because Sohryu's my shikigami, he now has a problem with me?' : Tsuzuki finally asked.

:No. He thinks Sohryu lied to him because he never told him who he is position-wise in here:

:That's stupid: Tsuzuki immediately argued. :Sohryu doesn't lie:

:No, he just withheld information. Right now, you're a convenient target.:

The shinigami sighed deeply. :Great:

There were soft steps, announcing a visitor and Tsuzuki looked up, right into the eyes of his partner and lover.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," Hisoka replied. "You okay?"

"Yes."

"Touda kick your ass for pulling that stunt?"

Tsuzuki smiled wryly. "Kinda. I'm sorry I lost control. He just... hit a raw nerve."

"I figured." Hisoka remained where he was, hands in his pockets. "Ready to go?"

Tsuzuki nodded. He got to his feet and smiled at his partner. Hisoka's eyes showed no emotions, just as usual, and Tsuzuki's did more than ever. Suddenly a slight niggle of emotions flickered through the green eyes and Hisoka stepped closer.

"We should leave for today."

Tsuzuki's eyebrows shot up. "Huh? You want to skip the rest of the day?"

"No, I want to save the others from a potentially dangerous encounter between you two idiots again."

The taller shinigami smiled and suddenly leaned down, catching his partner off guard as he brushed their lips together. Hisoka hesitated just a moment, then answered the light kiss.

"How about tea?" Tsuzuki offered. "There's this little tea house in Nagasaki..."

Hisoka smiled a little. "Tea sounds fine." He grabbed Tsuzuki's tie as he wanted to straighten and pulled his partner back down, planting a deeper kiss onto his lips. "You pay."

Tsuzuki just gave him a happy grin.

Touda rumbled appreciatively in his head. :If you still need a little help...: he teased.

:Oh shut up: was the mild reply.

A chuckle answered him, then Touda slid back into the deeper recesses of Tsuzuki's mind, leaving his shinigami to enjoy the rest of the day.

Touda was still smiling to himself as he closed the connection between himself and his master. Sometimes, Tsuzuki was a fountain of amusement, but he would never take the teasing too far. He knew how emotionally vulnerable the shinigami was sometimes. It was getting better, but old wounds healed slowly, sometimes never at all.

Walking the empty corridors of the palace, Touda was looking forward to some peace and quiet in these for him sacred walls of Byakko's palace. Yes, by now he had his own residence, but he liked the closeness he shared with the white tiger, and ever since the new building had been raised next to the wind god's mansion, he had barely ever slept there. At least alone.

Entering the sleeping chambers, Touda felt the smile grow as he looked at the dozing figure of his partner and lover. Byakko lay naked on the large bed, the blanket draped haphazardly over the sinewy, lean form, and he had his back to the door. Touda followed the lines of the muscles down the toned back to where it met the softly-furred, striped tail. Byakko's hair was open, falling in thick strands over his back, and he had curled up in cat-fashion.

As the serpent shikigami came closer, the slender figure moved and red eyes blinked open as he turned his head. A lazy, warm smile spread over the youthful features.

"You're late today," he said softly, no accusation in his voice.

"I had a last minute crisis talk with our master."

Byakko turned fully, suddenly alert. "Is he okay? Did something happen?" Anxiety crept into the voice.

Touda shed his coat and sat on the mattress to get rid of his boots. "No, he's fine, Byakko. It was just some minor trouble."

Those red eyes narrowed briefly. "He touched his power?"

Touda nodded, kicking the shoes off. "An altercation with Terazuma. We had a talk about what happened here and where the problem lies."

"Oh." Byakko smiled a little at the thought. "Guess he was kinda surprised, hm?"

"Mildly put, yes." Touda leaned over and captured his lover's lips in a tender kiss. "He'll get used to it. Like we did."

Byakko wrapped his arms around the other shikigami, in the process dislodging the last of his blanket from his body. Touda was treated to the enticing sight of the nude form of the man he loved so much.

"It's been a long day," he murmured.

Byakko smiled. "A long week," he begged to differ.

"Uh-huh..." He kept kissing the delectable mouth, hands wandering down the firm skin, straying to the equally firm behind.

Byakko shifted into his touch, his tail twitching, and he moaned encouragingly. Suddenly he moved and Touda found himself lying flat on his back, on the bed, with the silver-haired wind shikigami straddling him. The sight was more than delicious.

"I think it's most important to make up for lost time," Byakko purred.

Touda could only agree.

It wasn't until the Kebi case that Terazuma seemed to come around. Kebi Hara had been a young man who had fallen in love with another guy and had, because he had misunderstood several things in their relationship, killed him out of jealousy. He had then tried to kill himself, but his tattered soul had been unable to leave his body, bound to the mortal realms, living inside the house he and his lover had shared for months until Terazuma and Wakaba had put an end to his suffering.

It was right after this case that Terazuma asked his partner to send him to GensouKai. For reasons he didn't tell her, but she could guess. The Black One was coming close to the surface again, Terazuma was evading her touch once more, and she had prepared herself to tame the shikigami with an ofuda should another accident happen.

Wakaba looked into those distraught, red eyes, saw the deeply etched lines, took in the mental exhaustion, and she granted him the request.

tbc...


	13. part 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sleek, athletic, with powerful strokes of arms and legs, the human form swam through the underwater world. Red eyes, barely discernible as such in these depths, took in the hidden beauty of the lake waters, followed the fish as they darted toward a bunch of plants, then angled sharply to the left and followed their unseen paths through this silent world.

The lake had lost nothing of its beauty. It was a dark blue, calm water that reached peaceful depth where sunlight only rarely touched it. Like fingers the light stabbed through the surface, broken by molecules, thinning out until there was only twilight. Water plants reached up from the grounds, stretching toward the surface, their thin membrane leaves almost transparent where the sun touched them. Schools of glittery, silvery fish darted away as a newcomer entered their territory.

Sleek, athletic, with powerful strokes of arms and legs, the human form swam through the underwater world. Red eyes, barely discernible as such in these depths, took in the hidden beauty of the lake waters, followed the fish as they darted toward a bunch of plants, then angled sharply to the left and followed their unseen paths through this silent world.

Nothing disturbed him down here.

Nothing entered his mind but the calmness, the peace, the distance of everything. He was alone down here, and he preferred it to the bustle of the world outside.

Terazuma swam toward the ground, then let himself drift up again to breathe in air. Shinigami had abilities that went beyond that of a human and holding their breaths for a long time was part of it. Powerful strokes took him to the shore and when he came closer he discovered he had a visitor.

A well-known, very familiar visitor.

And his body tingled.

It had been close to three weeks by now. Three weeks since he had left GensouKai and Sohryu, three weeks since he had experienced the betrayal. Now, looking at the casually dressed man holding out a robe to him, Terazuma was surprised to feel little of the initial anger. There was a longing, mixed with wariness, and the need to understand.

Sohryu. The dragon. Tsuzuki's shikigami.

At the thought of his colleague the anger bubbled up.

Yes, his main problem was Tsuzuki's claim of possession on this man.

Terazuma slipped into the offered robe and wound it around his damp body. No words were lost as both men climbed the slight incline to a spot that had been their favorite meeting place for weeks.

They sat together, not looking at each other, gazing out over the lake. It was still warm, the breeze moving the leaves of the ancient trees around them, and despite his tension, Terazuma felt the relaxing atmosphere take effect. This was a place he remembered as nothing but peaceful, as a place of learning and relaxation, of calmness and quiet. Swimming had helped, too.

"Why did you come back?" Sohryu finally broke the silence.

"Wish I knew," he snarled.

Blue-gray eyes glanced at him and Terazuma had difficulty seeing the elaborately dressed being, the statesman, in the currently simply dressed man at his side. A man he had seen in all his glory, who had touched him so deeply, who had changed so much for him. For the better.

"What's your problem with me, Hajime? That I'm the leader of my people or that I'm Tsuzuki's?"

He huffed. "Do you know how it feels, Sohryu? To find out who you are? To find out the lies behind the pretty façade? You deceived me!" he spat. "You knew who I was! I told you my story! And you conveniently forgot to tell me the little fact that you're not only a God but also Tsuzuki's shikigami!"

Sohryu met the rage with his usual calm. Like he had met so many emotional outbreaks from Terazuma. "So the problem is Tsuzuki," he cut the rant down to the core.

"Of course he is the problem! He always was the problem! That no good, lazy moron!"

A tilt of the head. "Why do you dislike him so much that it cuts into your private life?"

Terazuma glared, feeling the old anger rise. "Because of what he is! How can you serve such a lazy ass? He has an incredible power at his disposal! He is one of the strongest shinigami I ever met! But what does he do with that power? Nothing! He could be in charge of Tokyo now, but he decides to spend his time eating sweets, taking care of a few easy cases in Kyushu, and bumbling around the office! His reports... don't get me started on that! And he has twelve Divine Commanders, four of them Gods... Tell me why he has such power and doesn't use it?"

There was a silence that stretched until Terazuma was about to launch into another rant, when Sohryu stilled him with a simple look.

"You have known Tsuzuki for close to three decades now. But still, you never got to know him, Hajime. You know little of his soul."

"I know he has power and is just too much of a coward to use it," he grumbled, chewing on an unlit cigarette.

"Have you ever felt that power?"

He huffed.

"You did once. In the library. We faced off against each other. Granted, it was me he called and I fought Kagankokushunkei, but we met that day. Our combined force leveled the new library building."

Terazuma looked away. He barely remembered that incident. The Black One had taken over and Wakaba had turned him back again. It had been embarrassing. Tsuzuki just sparked something inside him, a fury that couldn't be controlled. The man had such potential to do more... and he wasted it!

"Tsuzuki is strong. He conquered twelve of us," Sohryu went on. "I actually challenged him back then. I was furious at his audacity to master two gods, and I thought I could beat him. I nearly killed him and myself in turn. But he stood up against me, he remained standing, battered and broken and bleeding, he showed me what is inside that innocent form, that apparently gentle and child-like man. He beat a dragon, Terazuma, a God. He beat four of us."

He defiantly stared at the ground. Tsuzuki was a bumbling idiot, nothing more, nothing less!

"His power is lethal, Hajime. It can consume him. It eats away at his soul, wants to be unleashed, but he is afraid of killing people. He doesn't want to hurt anyone. And he could. He could level everything if he ever let go. He could destroy what we love and it would break him. There is a fragile balance inside him, maintained by a soul that is so much stronger than what you can see." Sohryu's voice was soft as he told him this. "I saw into that soul. I love that soul. I protect his innocence."

"He's an angel of death!" Terazuma growled. "His job is to take lives!"

"As is yours. Tell me, do you like it? I don't think so. All human life touches you. No shinigami is immune to it. Tsuzuki even more so. He's sensitive in a way that he built walls around him, that he lets you see what he's safe to project. We, his shikigami, have seen what lurks behind it. We see the contradiction he is, the riddle, the enigma, and we love him."

"Why are you telling me all of that?"

Sohryu smiled a little. "Because I want you to understand."

"I understand Tsuzuki very well, thank you!"

"No. You only touch the shields and you see what he wants you to see. You see a man who hasn't made an attempt to rise up the career ladder. You see a man who adores sweets, who acts like a child, like a puppy, and you wonder why he can command us shikigami. You do not see the person who died so long ago, that suffers, that tries to find stability. You do not see the darkness in him that threatens to devour him. You do not see the man who never lived, who only suffered, who continues to evade the people around him. You are challenged by him because the alpha inside you can feel the alpha hiding behind that soft façade. You can feel his challenge. And you react."

Sohryu sighed softly, sadness tingeing his voice.

"Just like me. I challenged what I saw and I failed to see beneath the surface. Appearances can be deceiving, Hajime. Tsuzuki is compassion and kindness and protection. He protects the souls he has to bring in, he protects his partners and friends. He protects them from others and from himself. You call it incompetence, slacking off, failure. I call it the greatest strength there is. Tsuzuki loves with all his heart, he would go through the fires of hell for his friends and colleagues, and he has.  
Unconditionally. That is the man you need to find underneath all those layers."

Silence fell and Terazuma tried to wrap his mind around the words, around Tsuzuki. He knew little of his colleague, granted, but he had never tried to get to know him.

"I am his," Sohryu jolted him a little. "I am loyal to him, I love him. He is my friend. I will protect him, I will serve him, Hajime. But my bond to Tsuzuki has nothing to do with what I shared with you. Nothing at all."

He gritted his teeth. "Then why didn't you tell me?"

"Because what difference does it make who I serve? What difference does it make who I am? I came to this place to relax, and I found you." Sohryu regarded him calmly. "I liked you from the beginning, Terazuma Hajime, and what we shared was wonderful. I found you a relaxing companion and I had hoped you felt the same. If you had truly wanted to know who I am, why didn't you ask more questions?" he wanted to know.

Terazuma bit his lower lip. Yes, why? Good question. "Dunno," he muttered.

"Because it doesn't matter."

"It does!"

"Because of Tsuzuki."

He met the blue-gray eyes, lost. "Yes... no... I don't know any more!"

"Why did you come back, Hajime?" Sohryu asked once more.

Silence. He watched the lake, wishing he could immerse himself in its calm waters forever.

"Why?" Sohryu whispered.

"I wanted to see you again," he murmured.

"Why?"

"I wanted answers."

"Why?"

He glared at the dragon. "Because! Stop asking stupid questions!"

"Stop behaving like a pouting child. You are worse than my own children!" Sohryu replied with a little sliver or sharpness.

Terazuma growled. "I'm not a kid!"

"Oh really? Then why do you behave like another boy took away your favorite toy?" There was a seductive glint all of a sudden and Terazuma cursed his body for the tingle it sent through him at the words. "Tsuzuki is not my lover. He is my master. I love him, I serve him, but I do not bed him. You, on the other hand..."

And then he was pushed back, a suddenly very aggressive Sohryu leaning over him.

"You," the shikigami whispered, "you, I bed."

Lips met in a less than tender kiss and Terazuma dug his hands into the lush hair, giving as good as he got as two men battled for dominance of the encounter. He felt the Black One stir, growl his approval, and he fought the tongue in his mouth, pushing back. When they finally separated, neither man a winner and neither a loser, Sohryu's face radiated sexual aggression. He licked his lips and Terazuma found himself growing harder still.

He had missed this. He needed this. It wasn't... no, it wasn't love. It was need. He wanted this man and knowing who he was had sent him into a spiral of anger and rage. Sohryu was Tsuzuki's, was his shikigami, but Terazuma wanted him, too. The alpha inside him laid a claim to this handsome man.

"Hajime," Sohryu murmured, fingers playing through his hair, caressing the tips of his ears, making him shudder.

Lips met again, gentler this time, the contact deeper. Sohryu blanketed his body, he felt the warmth all around him, the hard evidence of the shikigami's desire, and Terazuma's own hands wandered over the delightfully sinewy body, coming to rest on the curve of the hip, slipping closer to the tight cheeks of his behind.

"We can stay here," Sohryu breathed, one finger teasing his sensitive ear. "Or we can continue this on a nice, large bed..."

Now that ear was licked and his nerve endings were on fire, a prickling feeling spreading over his skin.

"Bed sounds nice," he managed, groaning as that wicked tongue licked over the tip, knowing very well what a hot spot it was. "Shii-it! Sohryu!"

Sohryu chuckled and left the tortured ear alone. He kissed him again, licking over his lips. The shikigami withdrew slowly, deliberately brushing over his body as he sat back. Terazuma felt shivers race through him at the sight. Desire boiled up inside of him as he looked at the man, a Sohryu so different from the regal, imposing ruler of GensouKai he had only once seen. The image had burned itself into his mind, looking at the representative of a realm, the serenity, the majestic power. Now it was just a simple man.

No, not simple. Very much a proud shikigami, powerful and striking in his appearance.

 _I missed you_ , he thought dimly. _Even in my anger and disappointment, I missed you. And I want you so badly..._

When Sohryu rose he followed, catching the taller man in his arms and demanding another kiss. Desire multiplied, taking his breath away. It quickly grew out of hand, both men stumbling back against the near-by tree. Terazuma's hands glided over the firm behind, catching a moan from the shikigami, and he smiled evilly.

"Hajime... stop..." Sohryu whispered.

"Or what?" he teased.

"Or we won't make it to bed..."

Terazuma ran a firm hand over the bulge at the front of the dark pants. His grin grew.

"Just to take the edge off," he whispered hoarsely, taking advantage of the turning tables.

The dragon gasped, head thrown back, as he deftly slipped into those pants. Sohryu didn't last long. Neither did Terazuma when those wicked hands of his lover retaliated.

They leaned against the tree, Terazuma blanketing the taller man, riding out the waves of the climax.

"Now... we can leave," Terazuma murmured, nibbling at an exposed collar bone.

"Devil," was the softly whispered reply.

A gentle kiss followed and Terazuma enjoyed the loving contact, letting it soothe his electrified nerves.

"I think we need a bath first," the shinigami remarked, smiling a little.

"Definitely. How about dinner?" Sohryu asked as they stripped and walked into the lake, both unconcerned with their mutual nudity.

"Is that a date?"

A wicked gleam. "It is."

Terazuma ran gentle fingers through the long hair he loved so much, water droplets clinging to the strands.

"A date, hm?" Something jittered through him.

A date...

It sounded... wonderful.

Sohryu pulled him close, water lapping against their bodies, and he kissed his lips, his jaw, his throat. Terazuma closed his eyes, arms wrapped around the other man, enjoying the sensation of holding him, of having him in his arms, of being with him.

The lion purred in delight, lazy, stretched out in his mind, eyes half closed in satisfaction. Its emotions were clear. It approved of what had happened, of what would happen throughout the night, and it was happy.

Terazuma smiled to himself. He would never have thought that it would be important for him that his shikigami felt happy. Now it was. Very much so.

tbc...


	14. part 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Terazuma watched his lover while they ate, took in the lines that hadn't been there before he had left, and he knew he had hurt the shikigami with his accusations and his subsequent leave of GensouKai without seeing him again.

Dinner was a private and thankfully small affair. Terazuma had secretly dreaded a large banquet table and dozens of servants bringing food. As it was, they ate in the private chambers and the food wasn't a ten-course meal. It was rather simple, tasteful, and the sole servant was the headwoman who only once appeared to attend to the drinks.

Terazuma watched his lover while they ate, took in the lines that hadn't been there before he had left, and he knew he had hurt the shikigami with his accusations and his subsequent leave of GensouKai without seeing him again.

"I'm sorry," he said after a while.

Sohryu raised an eyebrow. "What for?"

"Everything. I overreacted."

"You were hurt. I understand that now."

Terazuma played with a carrot. "Well... I was... I felt like you didn't trust me, like you only wanted to use me."

"I'm not like that."

"Yeah. Like I said: sorry."

Sohryu smiled warmly, but whatever he was about to say was interrupted. There was a light knock on the door before it was pushed open and the little girl Terazuma had met before bounced into the room, followed by an older boy with blue hair - Sohryu's son, he assumed. Tenkou beamed happily at her father, climbing onto his lap and chattering about the events of her day.

Terazuma nodded a greeting as she waved at him, sending him a flashy smile and a hello, and he simply watched how Sohryu listened to her talk nineteen to the dozen and even asked a question here and there. The boy had sat down at his father's side, answering the questions about his day far more quietly, and something inside of him stirred. Sohryu apparently was a loving father, putting everything else behind. So unlike his own...

Looking up Terazuma realized that it had become quiet, and he blushed a little when he noticed the intensive blue-grey eyes of his lover directed at him. Sohryu smiled before he returned his attention toward the little girl on his lap.

"Tenkou, it's past your bedtime already. Say goodnight."

Tenkou wrapped her arms around her father's neck and kissed him soundly on the cheek before she took her brother's hand, waved a good night at Terazuma and disappeared.

"You really love them..." Terazuma muttered, sipping at his wine.

"Very much. They are all my pride."

"Will your son follow in your footsteps one day?"

"No. He's not supposed to, if that's what you're asking, and even if he wanted to, as a wind shikigami he wouldn't be able to. He could be Byakko's heir one day. No, it's Tenkou who can become Goddess of the East. She's a water shikigami. But only if she chooses to. She's not forced to follow a path she doesn't want to go because of silly traditions."

"Ah."

For a brief moment Terazuma wished his own family had had that take on traditions. It would have made his life easier.

"Hajime..."

The gentle tenor drew him out of his thoughts and he looked at his lover. Sohryu stood, stretching out his hand in a silent invitation, and Terazuma took it, following him willingly into the large bedroom - and into the large bed.

Waking up in the middle of the night, feeling pleasantly sore in places that hadn't felt sore in all his lifetime was a relatively new experience for Terazuma. The moon was bathing the room in a bluish light, illumination enough for him to see the face of the man lying at his side. He had never seen Sohryu sleep, it occurred to him, and he couldn't help watch. The fine chiseled features relaxed, the long blue hair looking almost like a veil on the pillow, defined shoulder muscles - a man in every sense of the word.

And he had fallen for him. He, Terazuma Hajime, had fallen for a man, was lying in his bed right now, had slept with him, and it had been good. Oh yes, it had been good. Sohryu knew a lot of tricks from the book and he had used each and every one on him, starting with a deep muscle relaxing massage with warm scented oil that had Terazuma almost melt into the mattress, followed by skilful hands and fingers turning the massage in a deeply erotic sensation and finally the lips and tongue in places where he had never even assumed a tongue would go.

Sohryu had introduced him to the secrets' of male loving, but they had gone all the way only once before. This time Terazuma had felt much more at ease and relaxed, and he had encouraged his lover to take him, to extinguish the burning need he felt. Sohryu had followed his - more or less - silent requests only too willingly, and after taking the edge off - twice - he had finally slipped into him, cradling his body against his chest, and caressing his sweaty skin until Terazuma had screamed out his release hoarsely. Sohryu had followed him over the edge with a choked moan, buried deep inside him. The shikigami had held him afterwards, riding out the afterglow together and Terazuma had fallen asleep to the soft stroking of Sohryu's hands on his skin.

Right now Sohryu didn't look much like the god he was. Without all the robes and kimono, without all the tresses and stuff he wore when representing, without the scowl that used to appear when he was under stress, Sohryu looked young, almost ageless.

Handsome.

 _Why did I fall for you, Sohryu? Why was it that you wormed yourself under my defenses?_

 _I'm not gay._

Terazuma stretched out a hand, slowly sliding fingertips over the soft skin he had touched often in the past, had felt sliding against his own, had even tasted.

 _I'm not gay ..._

Blue-gray eyes regarded him sleepily, and he started.

"Hajime?"

"I'm not gay ..."

Strong arms wrapped around him, pulling him down onto the slender figure, lips met his gently.

"I love you, too."

It wasn't unheard of that shikigami manifested in Meifu. There had been instances of Suzaku or Byakko appearing, though in a destructive manner because Tsuzuki had been about to be completely taken over by a devil. On this Friday afternoon, a tall man strode confidently through the halls of the judicial building. Long blue hair, bound into a pony tail that started high up on his head, fell down his back. The narrow face was handsome, the blue-gray eyes definitely not human with their slit pupils. He was wearing a simple white, long-sleeved shirt, blue jeans, and sneakers. Not exactly the outfit of a shikigami, let alone a high level one, least of all of a God and Protector.

Sohryu smiled to himself, noting the looks he got from the few shinigami still on duty. He stood out, he knew. The pointed ears were a dead giveaway, as were the eyes, and if not for that, the aura was quite outstanding.

It was no great surprise for him that when he entered the Shokan Division he was already expected by his master. Tsuzuki must have felt his arrival, one of the many little connections between shinigami and shikigami, just like Sohryu could always tell when Tsuzuki was visiting GensouKai.

"Sohryu!"

The greeting was a beaming smile and he was hugged Tsuzuki-style, the young shinigami embracing him. Sohryu wrapped his arms around the slender form, smiling at the stormy welcome.

"What are you doing here?" Tsuzuki asked, pushing away to stand an arm's length away. He took in the outfit. "Oh, wow... Looks different."

Sohryu chuckled.

"But it looks great," Tsuzuki added, still smiling. "You looking for Terazuma?"

Sohryu froze. He hadn't known how to approach the subject of why he was here. He hadn't come for a social visit and he hadn't come to see his friend.

Tsuzuki's smile warmed even more. "He's in the archives, looking for something. You'll find him there."

"Tsuzuki..."

"I know," was the gentle answer. "Go and see him, Sohryu."

The dragon stared at him, once again surprised by the young man. He would never be able to understand him, his thoughts and actions, his whole being. Tsuzuki was Tsuzuki, and understanding him took more than a life time.

"I will. Thank you."

He was hugged lightly. "I'm happy for you."

Something inside Sohryu fluttered. It sounded like a blessing and from his shinigami it meant more than anyone could ever know.

He left for the archives after a promise to see Tsuzuki before he went back to GensouKai, whenever that was.

* * *

The archives were located a good distance away from the main office structure and Sohryu encountered hardly a soul. It was Friday and only those working a case were here. It suited his purpose because the attention he had gotten already was enough. Enma-Daiou was probably aware of his presence here and if the Lord of Hades objected to it, Sohryu would know soon enough. So far he had been left alone.

The archives were part of the library building and with it under the control of the GuShoShin. Sohryu knew the library. Well, as much as one could know the building one had been involved in destroying after the grand reopening. He smiled slightly. Tsuzuki still wasn't allowed back unless Hisoka was with him. The same went for the archives. Terazuma had apparently been let in without a watchdog because the dragon couldn't see a trace of Wakaba anywhere.

Following the large signs indicating the archives, he finally stepped into the cool, semi-dark vault. Fine-tuned senses took in the room, looking for his lover, and he smiled to himself as he discovered him not too far away. Sohryu quietly approached the man.

* * *

Terazuma grumbled to himself as he searched through the old files, looking for that one name that had so far been eluding him. The case had been simple until the moment the names had no longer fit the facts. So they were looking for a ghost, a shadow, a name that had been altered or gone lost, and the soul now associated with it wasn't the one they had been sent out to look for.

The case had no high priority and he knew he should be on his way home, get some beer, relax, sleep in, watch TV. Monday would come up sooner than expected.  
But there was no one at home and he didn't look forward to the loneliness. He had changed; he had a lover. He missed his presence and while on a case that was usually no problem. He could live with that. Cases took all his concentration and he was on business. His private time, though... well, that was another matter.

"There you are," he muttered and finally pulled the file out of the electronic database.

He scanned over the entries, then sent it to his and Wakaba's office addresses for further actions on Monday. With that done he shut down the computer and rose, stretching stiff muscles. He hated computer work, just as much as he hated libraries. He had told his partner once that books gave him headaches and it was true.

Terazuma felt a brief tingle at the edge of his senses, but no alarms went off. The shikigami usually rose when there was danger, but apparently the lion felt completely at ease.

There was a presence and Terazuma was about to turn when a pair of strong arms slipped around his waist. He felt the warmth of the other body, smelled the familiar scent of his lover, and his whole posture relaxed into the light hold. Sohryu kissed his neck, warmly, wetly, teeth scraping lightly over the sensitive skin.

Terazuma gasped when those teeth tortured one ear and his knees almost gave way under the sensation.

"Sohryu!"

"Yes, love?"

"Stop that!"

Another nibble. "Why?"

"Because it would be embarrassing if I came in my pants!" Terazuma whispered hoarsely.

A chuckle made him shiver and Sohryu stepped in front of him, smiling seductively. Before Terazuma could reply he was kissed. Deeply, lovingly, with a lot of fervor... oh hell!

He wrapped his arms around the other man, holding him close, giving as good as he got. When they finally separated his braincells were wildly misfiring. Sohryu was still smiling, eyes warm.

"Hello," he murmured.

"Uh..."

"Mhm, I like you speechless."

Terazuma forced the gray mass between his ears to work. "What are you doing here?" he stammered.

"Visiting my lover."

"But... uh... okay." Red eyes blinked, dazed. Then he discovered the outfit.

Oh... Hell...

Sohryu looked... edible. Terazuma found one hand gliding over the white shirt, coming to rest on the waistband of the jeans.

"Nice," he murmured.

Sohryu smiled again, looking sex and simply irresistible. "You free tonight?" he asked.

"You asking me out for a date?"

"That depends..."

"On what?"

Sohryu grinned more. "You interested?"

Terazuma leaned in very close. "Very much," he breathed.

"Good. Your place or mine?"

Terazuma nipped at the delectable lips. "My place is in the world of the living."

"Meifu is fine, too."

The kiss was proceeding, the nips and licks growing deeper, more insistent, and Terazuma found himself pushed back against the computer table. He clung to the taller form, the temperature in the room rising.

"Sohryu!" he gasped. "Not here..."

"Like I said, your place or mine?"

He looked into those loving eyes and smiled. "Well, you're here already... and there are some nice places..."

Sohryu stepped back and Terazuma straightened, trying to pull himself together. "Lead the way," he murmured.

And Terazuma did, quite conscious of the handsome man at his side as they left the judicial building. The weekend was looking better and better. Actually, it was going towards perfect.

tbc...


	15. part 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That Sohryu now also visited his lover in Meifu spoke lengths and Tsuzuki was secretly happy for the dragon. He had never known Aya, his only wife and companion, mother of their equally deceased son Keijin, but he knew that Sohryu was a person who could give love, who needed it in return, and he was a wonderful father. While he represented an untouchable façade to the outside, Tsuzuki had always managed to break through, overrun him with his affections, and Sohryu gave his love for his shinigami freely.

Tsuzuki had had a while to come to terms with the fact that one of his shikigami was in a relationship with Terazuma Hajime, the very man who made his life hard and was the bane of his existence. That Terazuma had apparently resolved his problems with Sohryu being the leader of GensouKai and so on showed when his moods changed, when he left Tsuzuki alone, and Tsuzuki could finally walk into the office without the knot of trepidation forming in his stomach.

That Sohryu now also visited his lover in Meifu spoke lengths and Tsuzuki was secretly happy for the dragon. He had never known Aya, his only wife and companion, mother of their equally deceased son Keijin, but he knew that Sohryu was a person who could give love, who needed it in return, and he was a wonderful father. While he represented an untouchable façade to the outside, Tsuzuki had always managed to break through, overrun him with his affections, and Sohryu gave his love for his shinigami freely.

Now Terazuma held Sohryu's affection, too. Tsuzuki didn't know if it was love, but at least it was something along those lines. Why else would the dragon come to Meifu then? Terazuma meant something to him.

Good, he decided. It didn't mean he liked the man a lot better, but at least the possessed shinigami was tolerable now.

Sohryu dropped by Tsuzuki's office on Monday morning, surprising his shinigami who hadn't expected him to still be there. Tsuzuki had spent the weekend with Hisoka; their relationship was progressing at a pace both men were comfortable with.

"Sohryu!" Tsuzuki greeted him cheerfully.

"Like I said, I would pay you a visit before leaving," the dragon said calmly.

They left the judicial building and walked along the cherry trees, finally coming to a bench that was a bit out of the open.

"You stayed here the whole weekend?"

A nod. "Yes."

"Well, that was nice." Tsuzuki still smiled. "I'm glad you and Terazuma made up. He wasn't really in a good mood..."

Blue-gray eyes regarded him solemnly. "I made a mistake before, Tsuzuki. I won't make it again."

"So he means a lot to you, hm?"

Sohryu smiled slightly. "Yes." He tilted his head. "And you don't know why."

A shrug. "You chose him, Sohryu. I accept that. You're my shikigami, but this is your life. I've no right to demand an explanation."

"No, you don't, but I want to give you one anyway. How well do you know your colleague?"

Tsuzuki leaned back against the bench. "Well, I've known him ever since he came to Meifu, about thirty years ago. We never got along, for various reasons, and except that he doesn't insult me as much as before, that hasn't changed a lot."

Sohryu was silent for a moment. "Terazuma is lonely," he then said quietly.

"Huh?"

"Like all of you, he died a violent death, but unlike the other shinigami here, he was forced into a partnership with a shikigami. Neither side was asked and it didn't really work well. You know that."

Tsuzuki nodded. Everyone knew that.

"Terazuma pulled away from others, refused to be touched, and soon a touch by a woman would set off the shikigami he carried. It has actually not much to do with women," Sohryu said with a mild smile. "It's more like a rising stress level. You launched his attack just like a woman's touch would. It's adrenaline and the shikigami's need to protect his master against a perceived enemy."

Tsuzuki listened curiously.

"It all made Terazuma a very lonely person. Add to that that cat shikigami are very sensuous beings and you can understand the rising frustration."

"Oh. So... it was just... frustration at himself?"

"Yes, and some other things. Terazuma didn't like his shikigami, he actually despises the act of gaining power through one, and you... well, you have twelve. You also harbor an incredible power."

"I know," was the quiet reply. "But power doesn't mean I have to use it. Power can hurt. I won't hurt anyone through my abilities, Sohryu."

The shikigami gently touched the young man at his side, running a tender caress over the pale skin. "I know. We all know. And we appreciate your control, we love you and respect you. For someone like Terazuma who doesn't have this intimate knowledge of you, it's like waving a red flag in front of a bull. He charges because he feels cheated, feels like you have so much more than him and you don't use it."

"But... I don't," was the soft protest. "You are all my friends, not my weapons. I'm not any better than all the others."

Sohryu's thumb never stopped his gentle caress. "In his eyes, you have so much and he has only something he never wanted, and you don't use it. You have a different take on your job, you are different, Tsuzuki. And I mean that in a very positive way."

Tsuzuki leaned into the touch, closing his eyes, shivering a little at the words. He had never wanted to be different; being different hurt.

"Terazuma is different as well, quite obviously even," the dragon went on. "But he never had the acceptance of himself to begin with. He never accepted the shikigami that is so much part of him. When he came to GensouKai, the lion's pain was palpable. I only wanted to help him; the rest... was almost by accident."

He smiled at the expression the violet eyes.

"Get to know him, Asato," Sohryu said softly.

"Well, I can try. I mean, you like him and you're together, so... I'll try."

The dragon pressed a close-mouthed kiss on Tsuzuki's head, smiling more. "Thank you.

Terazuma wasn't kidding himself. His relationship with Sohryu, across two dimensions, was nothing but a way to have fun. There could be nothing deeper behind the visits to the digital world. Nothing at all.

But slowly, doubt settled in.

'I love you, too.'

Sohryu's words that night still stuck with him. And he felt something in return. He felt good when he was with this man, he felt like he had found something he had missed, and it wasn't just the sex.

He wiped the thought away. No. No, no and no.

Instead of mulling over the deepening relationship he started to try and get to know the man so closely connected to his lover. Tsuzuki Asato, his long-time, not very much respected colleague.

It wasn't easy.

Not because it was difficult to get to know Tsuzuki but because Terazuma wasn't the man to just walk up to a colleague and chat. He left that to Wakaba. And then there was their shared history. A really bad history marked by shouting matches, posturing and blowing up the new library.

No, it wasn't easy.

But over time Terazuma used his detective skills of observation, taking note of the little things, of the interaction. He began to see past the façade Tsuzuki presented and he was treated to a person that made him thoughtful. He began to see what might be the shinigami in control of twelve Divine Commanders, none of them inclined to see him as weak or unworthy.

It wasn't until the annual cherry blossom festival in the Count's palace that Terazuma actually could get a deeper glimpse, though. And the shock of his lifetime.

tbc...


	16. part 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Note (Macx speaking):**

**Author's Note (Macx speaking):**

 **Usually I don't go about commenting on reviews, but today is an exception ;)**

 **PJ Zatken: Terazuma has officially entered the Darkness Unleashed story line, so he will be there for other stories, too. Not in every one, of course. As for the length of this story, you can say this is about the longest we have ever written and I suspect we're now halfway through... There will be more chapters to enjoy.**

 **The main pairing of Catharsis is one of three unusual pairings we have. There'swhat everyone else writes, and then there are those never seen before. TerazumaSohryu is one. Another one will briefly appear in the next story, though I'm not sure whether it can be called a pairing (evil snickers). And the third is due in Phoenix, which takes a while longer.**

 **So much from me for today.**

 **Cheerios!**

 **Macx**

* * *

Like every year, the whole division had been invited and Watson had outdone himself concerning food and drinks. The atmosphere was relaxed, laughter filling the air, sometimes broken by the Count's remarks that went way below the belt. Terazuma looked around the ballroom, drink in hand, unlit cigarette dangling from his lips. Wakaba was chatting with some of the other shinigami and he had been left alone next to the buffet, indicating he wasn't looking for company.

He really wasn't.

Crowds still weren't his forte.

So when he didn't find Tsuzuki on his third and fourth sweep of the room, the former cop frowned. Hisoka was there, reluctantly enduring the Count's humor and talk, but Tsuzuki...

Terazuma prowled around the room, then finally left and passed through the ancient corridors, silent and held in twilight. The voices of the party faded and finally there was silence. His senses exhaled in relief and he did likewise. Control or no control, it was still hard.

Wandering around, letting instinct guide him, he finally found himself in one of the many large rooms that seemed to have no higher function. The Count lived alone, aside from Watson, and the palace was incredibly large. Most of the rooms were taken up by the candles, flickering ominously, but this room was strangely free of them.

A study perhaps?

It was here he discovered Tsuzuki, sitting on the broad window sill, one leg propped up, an arm resting on the bent knee, eyes on the darkness outside. He looked pale and there were signs of distress.

Terazuma hesitated and was about to withdraw when those expressive, inhuman eyes pinned him down. He froze, feeling like caught in the act. Tsuzuki tensed a little, shutters dropping, and he seemed to ready himself for a confrontation.

"Terazuma," he said warily.

"Tsuzuki," he answered, shifting the cigarette from one corner of his mouth to the other.

Both men looked at each other, sizing the other up, but Terazuma felt none of the bristling posturing he usually experienced. He recognized Tsuzuki as an equal, but he wasn't about to preen and ruffle his feathers to show off.

"What do you want?" Tsuzuki finally asked, looking away, sounding tired... upset.

"You got lost?" Terazuma simply asked in return.

"No."

"Something happen?"

He remembered the last incident in these strange walls. The candles did something to people, brought out nightmares... bad feelings... They made his hair stand on end.

"No."

Blatant lie.

"The candles, huh?"

Terazuma didn't know why he tried to make small talk. They had barely been civil before.

Tsuzuki briefly closed his eyes, then shrugged. "I just needed some time away. Don't worry. I'm not going to wreck something." His smile was false... forced.

"Good to know. But I'm not here for that. Just wondering why your partner's not picking up on you."

"Too many other emotions."

Terazuma walked closer, hands stuffed in his pockets. He finally removed the cigarette and studied the other man as if he saw him for the first time. In a way he was.

"You gonna stay here and wallow in whatever happened or you gonna go back before the rest of the cavalry arrives."

Tsuzuki gave a soft chuckle. "Since when are you my cavalry, Terazuma?"

A shrug. "You're a colleague. Can't let you get lost in this pervert's house."

That got him a strange look. And then Tsuzuki smiled. It was a warm, happy smile that completely caught Terazuma off guard. He had never been the recipient of that expression.

"I'm glad you finally found someone, Terazuma," the older shinigami said, catching Terazuma even more off guard. "He's good for you, y'know."

"What!"

Panic spread.

Tsuzuki couldn't possibly know... But it sounded like... a blessing!

"You and Sohryu."

"What!" He knew he was repeating himself. "How... what the fuck is going on? How do you know...!" Terazuma felt anger rise, coupled with embarrassment.

Tsuzuki shot him a confused look. "Terazuma...?"

"How do you know? How can you possibly know!" he demanded, close to grabbing the slender man and banging him against the wall to get answers. "Is it because you're his master and they run to you telling you everything about their personal lives!"

Tsuzuki looked clearly disturbed now. "No... Terazuma, I'm just happy you found someone... nothing else. And I know because Touda knows."

"And he immediately told you!"

"I picked up on it." Tsuzuki shrugged. "When he gets angry, the shields waver."

Angry? Touda had gotten angry and it concerned Sohryu? The words launched a strange sensation of worry.

"Don't worry, Terazuma. Everything's okay. I mean, I think it's great." Some of the old Tsuzuki enthusiasm came back, but there was a hard little light in the center of those violet eyes that wouldn't leave.

Terazuma snorted, angry at himself and whoever else he could think of.

"I think finding a partner who accepts you as you are is wonderful, Hajime," the soft voice of his colleague penetrated the fog of anger. "It's rare and for us it's even rarer than for a human in the world of the living."

Terazuma swallowed as he looked into those firm eyes.

"We're not different from them in that regard. We want someone to be there for us." There was a little wistful smile. "Sometimes it takes more than a human lifetime, sometimes we don't see what's right in front of us. I'm just happy you're happy, that's all."

He stared at the man, confused, befuddled, surprised and amazed. "You... don't care it's Sohryu?"

A frown. "Why should I?"

"He's your shikigami!"

"And?"

"I...ah..." Terazuma deflated a little and sighed. He ran a hand through his hair, tousling it. "Who else knows?" he finally asked.

"Byakko and Touda."

"Hisoka?"

"No. I think it's up to you to make such an announcement." Tsuzuki smiled again and slid off the window sill.

Terazuma fell in step beside the other man as they went back to the party, glancing at him out of the corner of his eyes, thoughts still whirling.

Tsuzuki knew. About him and Sohryu. So what?

So... what?

He swallowed as he felt something rise inside him, something he had suppressed again and again, and it wasn't his shikigami.

An emotion.

 _I'm not falling for him_ , he thought again, more desperately this time.

But something was happening. Slowly but surely. And it was getting stronger. The sudden flash of fear when Tsuzuki had told him he knew... the brief embarrassment and sudden resolve to fight the other man if need arose... and the words... the simple words from his lover.

'I love you, too.'

Wakaba was happy with her 'new and improved' partner and she was also very happy to provide him with access to GensouKai to 'let the lion feel at home'. That it was actually Terazuma who wanted to be with Sohryu she didn't know about. Terazuma would keep it his secret. Still, he felt like abusing her trust and using her as a shuttle service. There had to be an easier way to see his lover. Other couples lived distances apart, too, and...

Whoa, stop! Couples?

Terazuma froze, breath catching in his throat at the thought.

Couple... no! This was just a casual relationship, right? Just to... make him feel good.

'I love you, too.'

Lately this had come to be a problem. Lately, he was beginning to echo those feelings. Lately... lately things had complicated.

He ran a hand through his tousled hair and shook his head. He wasn't interested in Sohryu that way. Not at all!

He wasn't in love...

No... he wasn't.

His emotions begged to differ.

Sohryu watched the man he had come to love, to admire, pace up and down his private quarters. Agitation was coming off Terazuma in waves and the dragon couldn't place the source just yet. His lover had appeared a few hours ago, clearly not coming for a social visit or something else, and when Sohryu had finally been able to get away from his duties, he had found him here.

In his most private chambers where servants were unlikely to interrupt them. Then again, the palace servants knew Terazuma by now and kept their silence as well as their distance whenever the shinigami was around. Sohryu didn't care about the rumors as to what was going on; he couldn't care less. What had surprised him was when the headwoman of the staff had brought him his usual afternoon tea and remarked how well he looked lately, how relaxed, and how the shinigami's presence seemed to do wonders to his mind-set.

Looking at the man he loved, the man he had yet to tell what he really felt, he wondered what was going on.

"Hajime, stop pacing. You're wearing down the rug," he chided gently.

Terazuma stopped, red eyes narrowing, hand clenching and unclenching. Finally he exhaled explosively.

"Sohryu, I... lately, I've felt..." He shook his head, raking his fingers through his hair. "Damn, I feel like an idiot!"

Sohryu walked toward him but the other man held up a hand, asking him to stay away. The dragon did just that, frowning slightly.

"What's wrong, Hajime?"

Red eyes looked at him with a silent desperation.

"I love you," Terazuma finally whispered. "I love you and I don't know when... when it started or why... I never planned on falling for you. I thought... it was nice... I liked it and all, but then I fell in love..."

Sohryu felt warmth blossom inside him and he smiled. "I've fallen in love with you a long time ago," he told the agitated man.

"What!" Terazuma blurted.

"I found you interesting when we met the first time, but later, I fell in love, Hajime."

"No..." Terazuma moaned. "No! Why?"

"Why? Does love have to have a reason?"

"Yes, it does! I'm a shinigami, Sohryu! I work as an angel of death!"

"I know that."

"I was human once. I'm in the service of Enma-Daiou..."

"I'm quite aware of that fact."

"You're... you're a shikigami, a guardian spirit! Tsuzuki's guardian spirit! This isn't just... a weekend relationship! We're separated by dimensions!"

Sohryu tilted his head. Apparently Terazuma had given this a lot of thought and it had him agitated. He knew their relationship was difficult, but he had never thought it to be impossible.

"I... I can't just come home and have you there, back from work like me, and we can snuggle up and watch TV!" Terazuma went on, voice rising. "We can't just meet up for lunch or dinner any given day! I need Wakaba to get here! You don't have phone lines or trains running on a regular schedule, or any schedule at all!"

"Hajime..."

"No! I love you, Sohryu, but this won't work. I should have stopped when it became too good, when it felt better than anything I could possibly have imagined. I should have... stopped... but I didn't... I'm sorry..."

Sohryu blinked, stunned by the words. Had he just been dumped? After Terazuma told him he loved him? After he had told his lover he felt the same?

"I'm not gay," Terazuma whispered. "I'm sorry... but I'm not... it will never work..."

And then he was out of the door.

Sohryu was after him in a flash, but to his surprise he only saw an empty corridor. When he raised his eyes he saw a huge, winged lion flying away. He smiled sadly for a moment.

You learned, Hajime.

He had given the shikigami free flight to flee, and the lion, confused by his master's emotions, did just that.

Sohryu fell back against the wall, insides clenching as the lion grew smaller and smaller. Terazuma had... left... him.

And he loved him.

tbc...


	17. part 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka's place wasn't as bare and impersonal as it had been in the past, but it had needed lots of coaxing from Tsuzuki's part to change that. The younger shinigami had rented the medium-sized, one-bedroom apartment with its live-in kitchen complete with furniture and had never added any personal items - until Tsuzuki had insisted on bringing an innocent little potted plant. Hisoka wasn't the person to attach himself to small mementos and Tsuzuki had finally shut up. It didn't stop him from bringing flowers or the occasional potted plant with him when he stayed at the place. Hisoka took the gifts, sighed, shook his head, but he treated them gently and lovingly. The plants were growing wonderfully and the whole place looked much nicer to his partner now.

Part III - Confirmation

Hisoka's place wasn't as bare and impersonal as it had been in the past, but it had needed lots of coaxing from Tsuzuki's part to change that. The younger shinigami had rented the medium-sized, one-bedroom apartment with its live-in kitchen complete with furniture and had never added any personal items - until Tsuzuki had insisted on bringing an innocent little potted plant. Hisoka wasn't the person to attach himself to small mementos and Tsuzuki had finally shut up. It didn't stop him from bringing flowers or the occasional potted plant with him when he stayed at the place. Hisoka took the gifts, sighed, shook his head, but he treated them gently and lovingly. The plants were growing wonderfully and the whole place looked much nicer to his partner now.

Today was like other days they had been here. Tsuzuki was working on his report, Hisoka was reading up on something, and the general atmosphere was one of relaxation and peace. Kisses and gentle gestures had been exchanged throughout the day, and Hisoka was more relaxed today than usual.

Tsuzuki watched his partner from the corner of his eyes, receiving a wordless little scowl, and he grinned in return, focusing his attention back on his work. But his mind was wandering, remembering the very first time they had been together, not much after the memorable 'sleeping naked with Tsuzuki in a hotel bedroom' incident.

Occasions like these had been rare. They had needed much time to get acquainted with the very thought of physical intercourse and while Tsuzuki had touched, kissed and stroked him, had brought Hisoka to climax with his hands and once with his mouth, it had always been a tense moment. Tender intimate touches had been foreign to Hisoka and he was only slowly relearning his definition of sex. Muraki had taken him by force, had equally forced his 'tenderness' on him, had given a teenager pleasure while the boy had fought his tormentor, and Hisoka's mind needed to wrap itself around the fact that this pleasure could be different when it came from Tsuzuki.

Tsuzuki in turn had needed to learn as well. His experience was solely with his partner and Hisoka's warped foray into sexual intercourse.

Sometimes days had ended with Tsuzuki leaving or, when they had had dinner together, watched a movie or just spent some quality time in a park, with each of them heading for his respective home. And then the day had come - the day Tsuzuki had sensed a very subtle change in mood of his younger lover. On a day very much like this one they had been sitting together, going over reports and Hisoka had been tense. The kisses had been tolerated, the caresses, too, but there had been nothing else. So, when he had finally finished the last of his reports he had just gathered his stuff and prepared to leave.

 _/"Tsuzuki?"_

 _The soft voice surprised him and he looked at his partner. "Yes?"_

 _Hisoka was looking at him from the couch where he lay on, reading. "You're leaving?"_

 _The older shinigami walked over to him, smiling tenderly. "Yes. I think it's time. I'm done and it's late..."_

 _Hisoka's eyes held a strange expression and Tsuzuki, on a whim, leaned down, placing a little kiss on his lover's lips._

 _"Stay," Hisoka whispered when they parted, his hand coming up to rest lightly against Tsuzuki's chest._

 _"It's late..." Tsuzuki repeated._

 _"Stay."_

 _"Hisoka..."_

 _"Stay the night," his partner whispered._

 _Tsuzuki saw the deeper meaning of the words in those suddenly very expressive, emerald eyes and reared up, but he didn't get far. Hisoka's hand was knotted into his tie and he was mercilessly pulled down. Flailing his arms he tried to catch his balance, but it was too late. He landed on his smaller partner and suddenly his lips were caught in a clumsy but determined kiss._

 _Strong but slender hands ran over his shirt-clad chest and sides, encountering the waistband of his slacks, and Tsuzuki felt panic rise._

 _No... no! Too soon/_

Tsuzuki felt his cheek turn a little pink with the remembrance, especially when thinking about his very own guardian angel...

 _/Touda had fallen asleep, dead to the world, after a straining day. Well, make that week. A lot had to do with Sohryu and his sudden mood change and Touda was working damage control at the moment while secretly wondering if he could get away with strangling their leader. Something was going on with Sohryu and it wasn't good._

 _Well, he would get behind it soon - or else!_

 _The spike of panic hit him in the middle of a dream and he startled awake, blinking in confusion as to where the emotion was coming from. The room was dark, the windows open, the night outside clear, and his lover was sleeping comfortably at his side. Touda sat up slowly, running a hand through his longish hair, trying to pinpoint the problem._

 _Actually, it was easy._

 _"Tsuzuki," he groaned and fell back into the pillows._

 _Byakko made a sleepy noise and turned to him, red eyes open and filled with dazed sleepiness._

 _"Touda...?" he mumbled, not really awake._

 _"Nothing. Go to sleep."_

 _"'Kay." And Byakko was already curling up under the sheets, sliding back into sleep._

 _Touda closed his eyes and sighed. He carefully probed the link and determined the source of Tsuzuki's sudden emotional outburst, finding it still the same as when he had first gotten a whiff of it._

 _And that's the reason for the panic? Good Gods!_

 _:Just do it already: he snarled at his master, who was trying to run from the best thing that had ever happened to him._

 _Tsuzuki gave a whimper of indecision but Touda ignored him._

 _:Do it or leave it, but stop involving me:_

 _And with that he closed his eyes and pulled the blanket around him. The link was closed with shields and the fire serpent huffed._

 _Shinigami/_

Still, Touda had checked up on him the next morning as he woke, and Tsuzuki had almost felt the broad smile blossoming on the shikigami's features. Tsuzuki had been laying in Hisoka's arms, in Hisoka's bed, asleep, radiating happiness.

Tsuzuki smiled, feeling warmth coil inside him. It had been their very first time, in fact Tsuzuki's first time ever, and Hisoka had been - gentle. Though the young man had been the one with the bad experience he had been the one in control, too.

A pillow hit Tsuzuki square in the face, pulling him out of his thoughts.

"You're daydreaming," Hisoka scowled.

"Yep," Tsuzuki grinned, enjoying the both the faint blush and the faint smile on his younger lover's face. Hisoka was much more comfortable with them being together now, had even taken him before.

Tsuzuki watched Hisoka return his attention toward his readings, but there was a little hesitation in his movement now. Tsuzuki put his report aside and slid beside his lover onto the couch, catching Hisoka's lips in a long and sweet kiss.

"I was just thinking about how much I love you, soka," he whispered, knowing very well his lover would read his emotions.

Hisoka scowled again -

and pushed him back onto the couch.

When Tsuzuki walked into the office the next morning he was exuding the air of someone who had had a very... good night. Terazuma, who had been in early, looked up from his second coffee and had to hide a smirk. He knew exactly what had brought on that pleased and outright glowing expression on his colleague's face.

It was an open secret that Hisoka and Tsuzuki were an item, though no one actually knew how close they had gotten. At work Hisoka was his professional self and Tsuzuki touched him no more than was normal. So the rumor mill had boiled. Terazuma had kept out of it, not interested. Ever since Sohryu, though, he had taken an interest in Tsuzuki and he had watched. Now he could almost smell it.

"Good morning," Terazuma greeted the other man, smirking more as he was treated to a full wattage smile.

"Hello, Terazuma!" Tsuzuki called cheerfully.

"Good night, too, eh?"

Tsuzuki blinked, a slight blush creeping over his cheeks. Terazuma snickered to himself. The other shinigami stared at him, drawn between embarrassment and denial.

"I can almost feel it on you, Tsuzuki, so stop trying to hide your happiness. It's good for you, believe me."

"W..what?"

"Getting laid."

Now the cheeks were reddening more. "Terazuma..."

Terazuma chuckled, shaking his head, then turned back to his coffee. Tsuzuki hesitated, then sighed, and walked over to the coffee machine, pouring himself his own cup.


	18. part 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He had changed; for the better. Not just in their still rather wild encounters, more a fight than any sexual contact, but also in his daily affairs. It had started some time after the pardon of Touda, after the whole fiasco with the erotic dream the serpent had sent their master, setting off an avalanche of effects. Touda's pardon had somehow also pardoned Sohryu, allowing him to... live again. He had turned from the unreachable leader to the man he had been before his family's death, before Keijin and Aya had been killed.

He would have to be blind not to notice the changes in Sohryu, Rikugo mused thoughtfully. He would have to be absolutely blind to the sudden tenderness of the man's touch, to not notice the hands stroking over his skin instead of just digging into his hips while Sohryu reached his completion, and to not see the soft expression in the dragon's normally so cool and detached eyes.

He had changed; for the better. Not just in their still rather wild encounters, more a fight than any sexual contact, but also in his daily affairs. It had started some time after the pardon of Touda, after the whole fiasco with the erotic dream the serpent had sent their master, setting off an avalanche of effects. Touda's pardon had somehow also pardoned Sohryu, allowing him to... live again. He had turned from the unreachable leader to the man he had been before his family's death, before Keijin and Aya had been killed.

The changes had continued, had always chased each other in succession after the arrival of a certain shinigami. Terazuma Hajime. Ever since the man who had been unwillingly possessed by a parasitic shikigami had come here, there had been only two more encounters between Rikugo and Sohryu, and both had been almost tender.

Rikugo had a good idea what had happened, and when the relationship had made it more or less official, he had simply smiled. There was a tinge of sadness to his smile, to his acceptance. No, he hadn't loved Sohryu, and he never would. No, he had harbored no feelings for the dragon. Still, it was like a good-bye. He recognized the seriousness of this relationship and while it was unheard of for a shikigami and a shinigami to be more than fighting partners and friends, well, why not?

So it surprised him that a few days after Terazuma had left GensouKai once again to return to his dimension, Sohryu exhibited the first signs of his old self. And the change for the worse continued. Rikugo watched it with a frown that deepened every day, and he was reluctant to hazard a guess as to what had happened.

It had to be connected to Terazuma.

Something had gone wrong.

Terribly wrong. This wasn't just a bad mood; this was the old Sohryu, the cold, untouchable dragon, the Protector of the East who denied himself any kind of private life, who spent days upon days in the office, who seemed to never tire. It was the man Rikugo had been glad to see leave. It was the man he had fought with over puny little things, the man he had had sex with. They had never made love, just satisfied a primal need, without tenderness, without a word afterwards.

Now that man was back.

And he was also back in Rikugo's palace.

The moment Sohryu stepped into his study and closed the door behind him, those cold eyes sizing him up, radiating aggression and lust, Rikugo knew what was to come.

This time he wouldn't play along, though.

If this change had been launched by something that was between Sohryu and his shinigami lover, there was no way in Hell that the astrologer would play substitute or be the victim of the dragon's fury.

The imposing figure walked over to him, each step measured, the lithe body moving like a great cat. A predator.

Rikugo felt his aura flare. He wasn't prey.

"No," he said softly as Sohryu entered his personal space.

That drew the other man up short. "What?" he demanded.

"I said no, Sohryu. Not this time. Not again."

Delicate blue brows dipped, the eyes narrowing dangerously.

"I don't know what's going on, but I refuse to be your whore any more!"

Sohryu snapped back as if he had been hit. "You're not my whore!" he snarled.

"Oh? For the last years we had sex. You came here or I came to you; we shared nothing but a primal moment of lust and need and hunger. That was that. A carnal desire that has nothing to do with love." Onyx eyes narrowed in turn. "I understood it. I consented to it. I confess to needing it just like you. You're good in bed, Sohryu. And your looks aren't a turn-off either. But not today, not ever again!"

Sohryu snarled silently. "Don't tell me you changed your mind about needing it!"

"No, I didn't. I changed my mind about the reason. I was an outlet for your frustration, for your deeper emotions, and I took the same ones out on you. Like I said, I understood. This frustration," he gestured at the dragon, "is different. This isn't about you or me, Sohryu. It's about your frustration with something else."

Rikugo met the stony expression head on and added,

"If I have to make a good guess, it's about Terazuma."

That got him a reaction. A very definite reaction. Sohryu's aura flared and he glared daggers at the astrologer.

"Leave him out of it!"

"Why should I?" he dug into the now open wound. "He's the reason you came here, looking for a quick roll in the hay, right? Why? You grew tired of your shinigami lover?"

Now the aura spiked dangerously. Rikugo knew he was playing with fire.

"Or has he decided you're not worth the effort?" he delivered his final blow.

"Shut up!" the dragon yelled and for a brief moment Rikugo feared he would attack. "Shut the hell up! You have no idea... you have no idea at all!"

A tremor went through the tall form and suddenly he whirled around, leaving the study, banging the door shut. Rikugo remained behind, shocked, a fine shudder running through him. For just a moment he had been afraid that this would be the final straw for Sohryu to truly attack him. It had been close.

And it had shown him one thing: this was about Terazuma. The sad thing was, he also believed it wasn't that Sohryu had dumped the shinigami and moved on. No, this was a man who felt an incredible pain, was suddenly alone, and Rikugo wondered if Terazuma knew what he had done. For once he wished he could talk to Tsuzuki the way Touda did, to gauge the situation, see what was happening in the other world.

Because Sohryu was turning dangerous. He was close to the edge and had nearly toppled over. The next time, it might not be such a close call - for whoever was the recipient of the dragon's fury.

Touda walked into the study and stopped halfway, eyes on the sole figure at the large desk. The study was wide and high, airy, and the high windows let in a lot of light. It was free of clutter, except around the desk, and the bookshelves and sideboards didn't take much light from the sandy brown walls. All in all, it was a soothing atmosphere, very relaxing, and the view was amazing.

Still, the lonely occupant of the room had no eyes for the beauty. Actually, his eyes were closed and he was sleeping with his head on the desk top, white hair spilling over important papers and reviews, statistics and reports.

Touda approached the desk and smiled slightly at the picture. He hadn't seen his lover all week, mostly because Byakko had been busy with his quarter of GensouKai. He had rarely spent a day at the palace, and the nights had been rather lonely and quiet for the serpent shikigami who shared such a great part of his life with the other man. Today had been the day Byakko had returned from the farthest most region of his lands, looking tired and beat. Still, he had immediately gone to his office, the servants flocking after him, and when Touda had gone to bed, alone, there hadn't been a sign of his lover.

After two hours he had gotten up and searched for his missing partner, finding him here.

"Byakko," he coaxed softly, shaking one slender shoulder.

There was a soft mutter and red eyes blinked open. Confused, the tiger looked at him.

"Touda?" he mumbled.

"Yes, it's me. Let's get you to bed."

There was hardly any protest, just a wince here or there as the younger shikigami stumbled to his feet and into Touda's embrace. The other smiled a little, keeping him steady.

They managed to walk the silent corridors and enter the bedroom without an accident and Touda helped Byakko strip. The tiger yawned and willingly collapsed onto the bed, then curled up and drifted off to sleep again.

Touda settled down beside him, studying the young, smooth features of the man he loved. Either in sleep or awake Byakko looked far from the powerful God he was. He was young, yes. Barely five hundred years. Compared to him, Touda was... old. He smiled humorlessly. But his age had nothing to do with his position and his power. He was a force to be reckoned with, a powerful opponent and a fierce warrior.

The serpent shikigami stroked gently over the white hair, secretly delighting in the softness, the silky feel, the warmth of the body next to him. Byakko had done something to him that he couldn't put into words. He loved him, that was for sure. He loved him with an incredible strength, with a passion that shook the whole foundation of Touda's world. It was a love that had overrun him, that had blown him away, and that amazed him.

It was simply Byakko. Full of energy, bouncy, wonderfully lively and warm, sparkly and bubbly and... Byakko. A wind shikigami but completely unlike Keijin. They were like day and night in that regard. Where Keijin had been a calm center for Touda, a steady rock in a turbulent sea, Byakko was that sea. He pulled Touda with him, made him live life, made him experience life, and he never grew tired.

 _I love you_ , Touda thought and let his hand travel over the warm skin, down the muscular planes of his lover's side. _I love you down to that obnoxious tail of yours._

Well, he loved that tail as well. He liked the silky fur, the purr he managed to get out of his lover when he stroked it.

A year now, he mused. A whole year now since they had gotten together. A year that had changed him, that kept changing him, and he couldn't deny that he liked it. He wanted to be here, in this palace, in this bed, with his lover. He wanted to feel this strength. It gave him so much strength in turn.

Stretching out beside him, Touda let the warmth and the gentle breathing lull him into a doze.

tbc...


	19. part 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the last months, Meifu time, that is, Sohryu had slowly but surely undergone a transformation for the worst. The man who had finally started to unwind again, who could relax, who could leave the office and the palace for hours on end, had reverted back to the work-a-holic Byakko hated to see. Sohryu was suddenly closed off from the others once more, snapped his orders, buried himself in work and whatnot, and he withdrew more and more. Talking to him was straining because he was simply just barking orders or coolly dismissing the other Commanders.

Byakko had had it.

In the last months, Meifu time, that is, Sohryu had slowly but surely undergone a transformation for the worst. The man who had finally started to unwind again, who could relax, who could leave the office and the palace for hours on end, had reverted back to the work-a-holic Byakko hated to see. Sohryu was suddenly closed off from the others once more, snapped his orders, buried himself in work and whatnot, and he withdrew more and more. Talking to him was straining because he was simply just barking orders or coolly dismissing the other Commanders.

Touda had started to grow silent around him, his frown now ever-present, watching the God with narrow eyes and waning patience.

Well, Byakko's patience had waned to nothing and he knew something had to be done.

Finding Sohryu proved to be complicated. He had left his office and was apparently on his way to Tenkuu, wanting to check something in the computer room deep inside the castle's bowls. Byakko walked after him, intent on getting answers.

Whatever it took.

"You should not corner him, Byakko," Touda said quietly as he walked at his lover's side.

"I'm not going to corner him, I'm going to ask him a few questions as to what the heck is going on!"

"An educated guess would be that it involves Terazuma. Ever since the shinigami left again, Sohryu's been like this. And he hasn't been back in all that time."

Red eyes glanced at the dark-clad serpent. "Did you ask Tsuzuki?"

"No. It's none of my business."

"It is our business, Touda, because Sohryu's crappy attitude and rising temper is affecting all of us!"

The golden eyes narrowed a little, but Byakko ignored him. He had found Sohryu.

"Sohryu!" he yelled.

The dragon stopped just outside Tenkuu's walls and turned slowly, his cold, distant eyes taking in the younger God.

"I am busy, Byakko," he told him coolly.

"Yeah, you always are. Busy, busy, busy. But not too busy to make a complete asshole out of yourself!"

Byakko felt Touda wince at his side, but the serpent was silent.

Sohryu's brows drew down and his eyes narrowed dangerously. There were lines in that normally smooth and handsome face that had been permanently carved into his expression ever since... yes, well Terazuma had left GensouKai.

"What's wrong with you, Sohryu?" Byakko demanded. "What's going on? You've turned cold! What happened between you and Terazuma?"

Now those eyes grew into dangerous slits and Sohryu hissed softly.

"Watch your mouth, tiger!"

"Why? You gonna pull rank on me? News flash! I am your equal!"

Sohryu's fingers flexed a little and Byakko felt a change in his aura.

"Is it Terazuma?" he pressed on nevertheless. "If so, damnit, get a grip on yourself, Sohryu! You are our leader! You..."

He never finished that sentence. There was a flare of power, an incredible explosion of it actually, and within a split second there was a wall of glistening blue scales rising up in front of him, and a gleaming talon came down toward the stunned tiger.

Byakko had no chance. Stunned, overwhelmed by the sudden spike of aggression, he only saw the claws race toward him.

There was a hideous, wet sound, a sound of muscles tearing under an immense force, of tissue surrendering to the impact of a predator's claws with its prey - followed by the dry crack of breaking bones.

Something hot and wet splashed over Byakko, whose red eyes opened wide in horror, meeting breaking golden ones. Touda collapsed forward, mutilated, violated, broken, and Byakko unfroze, catching the severely injured man.

"NO!" he roared, blood staining his hands and clothes.

The white tiger literally saw red as he took on his animal form and attacked the blue dragon.

It happened from one second to another. Tsuzuki was leaning against the desk, sipping at a cup of black coffee, eyeing some donuts, when he suddenly lost all color and collapsed with a scream of agony. The cup shattered on the ground into a dozen pieces, coffee splashing everywhere. Terazuma was out of his chair in a second, eyes wide, staring at the other shinigami in horror as Tsuzuki screamed in pain and curled in on himself, arms wrapped around his middle.

"Tsuzuki?" he exclaimed.

What the fuck...?

The door was pushed open and Hisoka stormed in, stumbling back against the wall the moment his eyes fell on the writhing form of his partner. He grew almost as pale as Tsuzuki, gasping, clutching his head.

"No..."

Tsuzuki whimpered softly, moaning a name. "Touda..."

And Terazuma understood. Something had happened to the fire shikigami; something bad.

The older shinigami began to convulse, hands clawing into the ground, and he was at his colleague's side in an instant, keeping him from harming himself.

"Tsuzuki!"

There was only a new cry of pain, followed by harsh pants for air. "Hurts... blood..." Tsuzuki rasped.

"Pull yourself together!"

The voice was like a whiplash and Terazuma's head snapped around, looking wide-eyed at the slender young shinigami standing beside the two men. Hisoka's green eyes were burning with shared emotions, but also with a resolve that spoke of his determination.

"You need to get your shields up, Tsuzuki! Tune him out!"

Dilated violet eyes met intense green ones and Terazuma watched the drama unfold. Hisoka was willing his older partner to break through the input from Touda's side and gain control.

"Tsuzuki!" Hisoka snapped.

A blink. A whisper of breath. Tsuzuki suddenly closed his eyes and grew lax, breath shaky.

"He... was... hurt..." he stammered, voice just a breathy whisper. "No... chance... no... so much... blood... pain..."

Hisoka knelt down next to Terazuma, but he wasn't touching his partner. For a good reason. The empath would get blasted with the full power of this emotional thunderstorm.

"Tsuzuki!" he whispered harshly. "You need to get control! You're the only one!"

Tsuzuki groaned, pale as a sheet, sweat beading his forehead, and his hands were clenched into fists. His knuckles were white with the force.

"Tsuzuki!" Hisoka snapped.

"Touda..." Tsuzuki whimpered.

"He needs you!" Hisoka insisted. "But he needs you whole. He needs you sane! Push the pain away. Tsuzuki... Asato..." The voice had dropped into a coaxing, cajoling whisper. "You can do it..."

"Hurts..."

"I know. Just try... You're stronger than that..."

Terazuma watched, waited, and finally those strange eyes opened, meeting his red ones. The two men looked at each other, Tsuzuki breathing hard, Terazuma just frozen in shock by the sudden reaction.

By now others had crowded around them. Wakaba was there, as were Tatsumi and Watari. Hisoka looked up, meeting the cool, blue gaze of the Shadow Master.

"Something happened to Touda. I think we need to leave immediately."

Tatsumi nodded slowly. "GensouKai."

Another nod.

Fingers curled around Terazuma's wrist, the grip surprisingly strong. "You, too," the shinigami whispered.

"W...what?" he stammered.

Tsuzuki swallowed several times as if he was about to throw up. A shudder went through him.

"Please?"

Terazuma didn't know why, but he nodded.

Getting Tsuzuki upright wasn't easy. His knees threatened to give way and he fell against Terazuma the moment he took a step. The shinigami grabbed the shaking body, but Tsuzuki cried out as if in pain, and Terazuma almost drew back.

"Phantom pain," Hisoka whispered, looking strained. "He feels what Touda feels. It's bad, Terazuma. Very, very bad."

Tsuzuki's hands clawed into the other man's clothes and he tried to get control of himself. With a groan he finally straightened and his eyes took on a determined note.

Still, it was Wakaba who opened the Suzaku Gate and helped them through.

The sight before him was as terrifying as it was amazing. Terazuma stared at the gigantic blue dragon, eyes wide, mouth agape. Sohryu was magnificent.

And he was injured.

His leathery wings were in tatters, bleeding from multiple slashes and cuts. His scales were criss-crossed by more marks, and his claws were bloody. Some of that blood was not his. It belonged to the black-clad shikigami currently lying in a pool of his own blood.

Terazuma swallowed.

Touda lay motionless in his human form, clearly unconscious, and a huge, white tiger stood over the fallen man, snarling at the dragon. Sohryu bellowed a challenge, claws rising again to attack. There was an almost mad light in those reptilian eyes.

"NO!"

Tsuzuki's voice was like a thunder clash, cutting through the air, freezing the image for a moment. Terazuma found himself paralyzed, staring at the shinigami who had moments ago been barely able to stand on his own two feet. Now he did stand, without swaying, his face like made of stone. Pale, the violet eyes the only touch of color, framed by dark hair, Tsuzuki's face looked alien, not at all like the easy-going, smiling shinigami he knew.

The dragon turned its wedge-shaped head, eyes narrowing, baring impressive teeth, each as long as a human was tall. Terazuma felt the blood leave his face at the sight, but Tsuzuki just looked at the furious, blood-lusting creature. His shikigami, the most powerful of the four Gods...

Tattered wings unfurled and blood splashed onto the ground. Tsuzuki was small and insignificant in front of the gigantic dragon.

"SOHRYU!" he yelled, and the violet eyes gleamed with a power Terazuma had only experienced once before.

The dragon bellowed again, a challenge if Terazuma had ever heard one. Power bristled around it, incredibly strong and lethal, but Tsuzuki didn't move a muscle. And then he felt it.

Darkness.

Terazuma heard himself gasp as he watched his colleague. Tsuzuki seemed to be surrounded by it, a dark aura that flared and crackled, that hissed and spat, and that seemed to taunt the dragon to attack. It wasn't the magic of a shinigami, at least none Terazuma had ever seen. It was something so powerful, it fried his senses, it overwhelmed him, it ate away at his own power. The Black One whimpered, scrambling away, wanted nothing more than to run, and it was the first time Terazuma felt his otherwise so fierce shikigami tremble.

A claw descended. Violet eyes rose and met reptilian ones.

The former cop gave a cry of denial and stumbled forward to push Tsuzuki out of harm's way.

tbc...


	20. part 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dragon snorted, suddenly looking confused. The claw fell to the side and the wings drooped.

The claw never touched the small human. It stopped centimeters above the dark head and for a lifelong second, neither moved. Inhuman eyes bore into dragon-eyes, challenging. Terazuma held his breath.

The dragon snorted, suddenly looking confused. The claw fell to the side and the wings drooped.

"Sohryu," Tsuzuki whispered, his voice so soft, so gentle, it touched not only the violent shikigami but also the shinigami watching it all.

Sohryu rumbled.

"Sohryu..."

The massive head lowered and there was a warning growl from Byakko, but he didn't interfere.

"Sohryu, stop," Tsuzuki murmured soothingly.

Terazuma watched, seeing the dragon come closer, the snout now hovering in front of his master, and Tsuzuki touched it. His hand was steady, his eyes fixed on the powerful God, but he was terribly pale. Blood stained the ground all around them, still running liberally from the slashed wings, but the dragon's attention was only on his shinigami. Terazuma had an inkling of appreciation of what Tsuzuki had faced throughout his challenge of this magnificent creature. The battle must have been cataclysmic... and Tsuzuki had won. He had mastered this God.

"Everything's okay," Tsuzuki said, voice coaxing, hypnotic. "Everything's fine. Change, Sohryu. Trust me."

A shiver raced through the magnificent being.

From one second to another, the huge dragon changed into the well-known, slender human form of Sohryu. Terazuma was running toward him before he was even thinking of doing something other than staring. Sohryu was covered in blood, the red fluid oozing from countless wounds, and his face held an expression of stunned horror.

"Ts... tsuzuki..." he moaned.

The dark-haired shinigami smiled tenderly. "Everything's gonna be okay..."

And then Sohryu collapsed. Terazuma wasn't fast enough and Tsuzuki held the tall shikigami in his arms, sinking to the ground. He cradled him close, like a lover, and Terazuma felt a moment of jealousy, then it was blown away by his deep worry. Tsuzuki caressed the pale face, now starting to shiver.

"Hajime?" he whispered, looking at him.

So helpless, so needy, so pleading. From one second to the next the creature of darkness, that lethal force Terazuma had seen for the first time, was nothing more than a vulnerable human being. Someone who was asking for his help, needing his support, and he couldn't even think of denying it to him.

Tsuzuki was glancing at where Byakko was standing next to the unconscious Touda, looking lost and hurt himself. Tsuzuki was drawn between the injured man in his arms and the injured one bound to him in so many ways.

"I'll take care of him," Terazuma whispered, meeting the still steely violet eyes.

He took the shikigami from his master, who nodded at his colleague.

Tsuzuki stumbled over to Touda, making a soft noise of pain, now trembling more. Byakko shifted back to his human form, pale but composed.

There was help coming, other shikigami racing to the battle field, but Terazuma could only look at the bloody scene. His lover was out cold, resting in his arms, wounded. Tsuzuki knelt in a pool of Touda's blood, uncaring of it soaking into his clothes, pale as a sheet but still so very much composed. Byakko, showing injuries himself, was at his side, talking softly. He didn't look much better than any of them.

And then the helpers arrived and Terazuma was swept away by the tidal wave of hands and voices, coaxing him to let go of Sohryu, guiding him from the horrifying scene.

He had never figured Sohryu to look vulnerable. Sure, after sex he had looked so... so relaxed and so much younger than when he was 'in the office', but never vulnerable. Never frail. Never close to the breaking point.

Terazuma stroked a long strand of blue hair out of the pale face, sighing softly. He would never have figured that Sohryu could lose it like this. He seemed so much in control, so absolutely sure of himself and the world. Nothing could touch him... nothing... But something had.

Terazuma had touched him.

"Fool," the shinigami murmured, shaking his head. He wasn't even sure who he was talking to, himself or the injured man.

Sohryu had been treated by Rikugo, who had looked harried and exhausted by the time he had arrived in his leader's chambers, blood clinging to his robes. Terazuma could think of only one person who had been treated first and it made him sick to think of the damage Touda had had to suffer.

"How is Touda?" he had asked quietly while watching the shikigami work.

"Hanging in there. He lost a lot of blood and Sohryu broke close to all bones in his body."

Terazuma felt guilt creep into his consciousness. He should have... he could have... maybe...

Sohryu was sleeping at the moment. His body was regenerating and from the looks of the cuts, they would be healed by tomorrow. The bruises had already faded. Most of the damage had been superficial, scratches and bruises and cuts.

He longed for a cigarette. Terazuma stared at the ceiling of the room, pushing down the nicotine craving. He rarely smoked now, only when he was upset. Well, he was upset now. Others had suffered because of their stupidity. Others who weren't even involved. Others who just worried about Sohryu...

There was a soft gasp from his side and his attention immediately returned to the prone man. Sohryu's eyes blinked open and the slightly blurred gaze came to rest on the man beside him.

"Hajime?" Sohryu mumbled.

"Yes, Sohryu. I'm here." He took one slightly trembling hand and smiled at his lover.

There was confusion in those beloved eyes. "Why are you here? Why... I don't feel good..."

"You had a rough day," Terazuma answered softly.

Frown lines appeared and Sohryu clearly tried to remember what had happened.

"Touda...?"

"Alive. Rikugo patched him up again."

"I... hurt him... why?"

"Like I said, rough day. I don't have all the details and you shouldn't really..." He stopped as he watched his lover.

The dragon swallowed, then grew even more pale. Eyes widened in horror. "Tsuzuki!"

Sohryu tried to get up, whimpering and gasping in pain, but he still struggled.

"He's okay. Just a bit wasted." Terazuma put a hand on one slender shoulder, keeping Sohryu down. "He's with Touda, probably sleeping. He wasn't hurt."

But he had looked just as bad. Terazuma had no idea what had come through the bond, but if it was just a fragment of the agony Touda had experienced, it was too much.

"No! I couldn't... have... I hurt him!"

Again the dragon tried to rise and again it was quite easy to push him down. "Sohryu, calm yourself. It's okay. He's fine. You didn't lay a hand on him."

"Why?" Sohryu whimpered, looking so lost and so very young all of a sudden. "What did I do? Why?"

Terazuma soothed his injured lover, stroking over the wonderful hair, down his smooth cheek. "You had a rough day," he repeated. "Go to sleep. I'll tell you when you're better."

Sohryu looked at him, vulnerable, open and so... needy. "Stay?" he whispered.

"I will." He leaned down and kissed his lover gently. "Go to sleep."

And the shikigami surrendered to his soft order. His eyes slid shut, the tall body relaxed, and Terazuma watched him sleep, lost in his own thoughts and feelings as he remained in the chambers with his lover.

Byakko looked at the two men he loved, now currently occupying the same bed space, one curled up close to the other, both asleep. Rikugo had treated Touda's wounds, which were extensive. Sohryu's talons had cut deeply into Touda's unprotected, human body, injuring him in the worst way, and the blood loss had been dangerous. He needed time to heal and while he was in a better shape than the last time he had lain in that bed, hurt, it wasn't any less serious.

Tsuzuki had been awake and conscious until Rikugo had finished, then he had simply collapsed. Byakko had caught him, carrying him into the large bed, where the young shinigami had almost instinctively curled up next to his injured bonded shikigami.

Byakko rubbed over his tired eyes, feeling the stings of his own healing wounds, but they were nothing compared to Touda's.

Anger rose. Anger toward Sohryu. It was squelched when Tsuzuki made a soft noise, sounding like a nightmare, and the white tiger walked over to the shinigami. He crawled onto the large bed and simply curled around him, wrapping his tail around the sleeping form. Tsuzuki quieted down, sighing softly, and Byakko smiled.

tbc...


	21. part 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tsuzuki shifted himself and violet eyes cracked open, meeting golden ones.

Touda woke to a world of pain and he wondered what had ridden him to step in front of a mad dragon. His body ached, his broken ribs shifted against each other, and he was dizzy with blood loss. Turning his head, aware of a presence beside him, his hand twitched a little. It shifted and he touched the pale hand lying closest to him.

Tsuzuki shifted himself and violet eyes cracked open, meeting golden ones.

:Touda?' : he whispered.

:Hey:

The presence of his friend moved closer in his mind, exhausted and just as much in pain as Touda himself. It was phantom pain, transmitted from the injured shikigami, but both their shields had been shattered by the sudden blast of agony from Touda.

:'S okay: Tsuzuki whispered and snuggled closer, his forehead resting against Touda's upper arm.

He didn't reply, just closed his eyes and held the shivering presence, needing the comfort as much as Tsuzuki.

It was how Touda woke the next morning. Well, with one addition. A silver-haired, red-eyed God was curled up on the couch not far away from the bed. Somehow it reminded the fire serpent of events not too long ago. Back then he had been injured by Suzaku's attack, had nearly died, had found himself waking up to Tsuzuki and Byakko's presence.

Touda looked at his lover, smiled, then turned to the shinigami at his side. His body still ached, but the healing factor had kicked in full force. Broken bones were mending, muscles knitting back together again, and his mobility was increasing. Right now he just turned to study the pale face of his master and he reached out with one hand, fingers trembling slightly, and touched the harried looking features. Even in sleep Tsuzuki was experiencing the echoes of the agony Touda had gone through.

As his fingers caressed the smooth skin, Tsuzuki moved sleepily, violet eyes blinking open. He smiled as he recognized the being close to him.

:Touda: he murmured.

Touda smiled reassuringly and patiently waited as Tsuzuki took inventory, pushing himself up in a sitting position.

"Are you in pain?" Tsuzuki asked, looking like death warmed over himself.

"I'm fine, Tsuzuki." He clasped one slender hand. "I apologize for flooding you."

It got him a weak smile. "It's not like you had a chance to stop yourself. I'm okay. It's just an echo, not like the real thing."

His eyes were on the multiple bandages, some of them showing dark flecks of dry blood.

"I'm healing," Touda reassured himself.

There was a sleepy noise coming from the couch and suddenly Byakko was looking at them with slightly sleep-glazed eyes. A smile spread over his features as he saw that Touda was awake.

"Hey, you're up? Thirsty?" he asked immediately, getting off the couch with more energy than either of the other two men had at the moment.

Touda had no chance to say no as he was offered some water and he had to confess that it felt good on his parched throat.

"How's Sohryu?" he asked.

Byakko's mood changed from one second to the next. His tail slashed the air like a whip and his brows drew down, the youthful face now etched with an unfitting, dangerous scowl.

"I don't know and I don't care!" he spat.

Tsuzuki winced like he had been hit by that whip of a tail, shrinking back. "Byakko," he stammered.

"He attacked us for no reason!" the white tiger went on, furious. "He nearly killed Touda!"

"No..."

"I don't care what his moods are or what problems he has! I don't care who he thinks he is, but he either gets it together or I'll make sure that something like this won't happen again!"

By now Tsuzuki was pressed against the headboard, breathing hard. Touda reached out, caught the trembling presence, wrapping his own weak shields around him.

:Shhhh...:

"Byakko!" he snarled in the real world.

Red eyes flared with emotions, then suddenly dimmed to their normal light as the shikigami took in the distraught man.

"Tsuzuki..."

Huge eyes looked at him, reflecting all those emotions raging through the young shinigami.

"Tsuzuki, I'm not angry at you..." Byakko soothed, taking him into his arms. "I'm just so angry at Sohryu. He's our leader, I respect him, but he lost it... He can't have the luxury of that. If it hadn't been Touda... if it had been a low level shikigami... he would have killed him or her."

Fingers dug into the light shirt and Tsuzuki sobbed dryly, emotionally wide open and too vulnerable to control any of his reactions right now. Byakko pressed a little kiss on the tousled head.

"Don't hurt him," Tsuzuki rasped brokenly. "Please, Byakko... we can solve this... we can help him..."

The white tiger smiled tenderly and Touda, despite his own anger and pain, had to mirror the soft expression. This was just like Tsuzuki.

"Please..."

"I promise," Byakko whispered. "I promise because it's your wish. I promise because you want me to."

Touda felt Tsuzuki slip away again and his own exhaustion from regenerating was taking him along with his master. He raised a hand and touched Byakko, who smiled tenderly at him. His lover knew how exhausting regeneration was, and he knew that Tsuzuki took priority a the moment.

The shinigami was placed back onto the bed again, asleep, and Byakko leaned over, brushing a gentle kiss over Touda's lips.

"You okay?" he murmured.

"Getting there. All of us. Remember your promise," he whispered back.

"I won't do anything to Sohryu," Byakko agreed. "Just don't expect me not to kick his ass... verbally... the next time I see him."

Touda smirked. "Get in line. I've got first dibs."

The tiger chuckled, the long, striped tail moving lazily, much calmer now. "Go get well."

"Yes, Lord Byakko. As is your wish."

Byakko playfully tousled his still growing hair. "If you were just so compliant every day..." he teased, then kissed him again.

Touda had no energy left to spar verbally. He fell asleep with the sensation of the kiss and Tsuzuki safely wrapped inside the bond.

There was nothing of the great leader, the Protector of the East, in the man who stood in the private chambers of Byakko and Touda. Dressed in simple clothes, face pale, hair held back in the plainest of bonds, Sohryu could have been any shikigami. But he wasn't. He was still the Azure Dragon, a God, and their leader. In his eyes, though, there was nothing of the proud being left. His whole body spoke of a pain so deep, it was threatening to destroy him.

Not like the rage and aggression that had already eaten away at him. This was silent, deep inside, and Touda knew it only too well. He had felt the same not long ago. Back then he had believed he had hurt his master, which he had to a degree, and he had believed Tsuzuki had abandoned him. It had launched an unstoppable avalanche of self-loathing and destruction.

Sohryu had lost it, had lost his control, and he had attacked Byakko, almost killing Touda in the process. Twenty-four hours later the black shikigami was conscious but not yet completely free of pain, and it would probably take another day for him to heal enough to attempt mobility.

Byakko's expression was far from friendly as he allowed their leader access to his most private room, something he had only done because Touda had requested him to let Sohryu enter.

Looking at the man he knew since he had been a child, Touda wanted nothing more than to help, but he knew this battle was none he could fight for Sohryu. He was a Divine Commander and a warrior, but the fight was on a soul-deep level, a matter that was between the proud dragon and the man who had accompanied him here. Touda's golden eyes rested on Terazuma Hajime, taking in the pale face, the red eyes that showed so much guilt and regret, and the unlit cigarette he twirled between his fingers.

Terazuma was nervous, but he had come with his lover. Touda knew that what Sohryu felt for this shinigami was true, was real, and that it had a chance, if both men decided to be honest with each other. Well, Sohryu was honest; had been honest. It had been the shinigami who had turned and run away, leaving behind a man who hadn't loved since Aya had died in the Black Fires.

As Sohryu approached, Byakko's tension grew, the long tail flicking back and forth, the whole man almost vibrating with suppressed anger.

"Touda..." Sohryu started. "I... apologize. I cannot put into words what I feel at what I did. I can only hope you accept my apology because there's nothing else I can give you."

Touda met the agonized, blue-gray eyes. "Now you know what it feels like," he said softly.

Yes, now Sohryu knew what it felt like when something snapped and the world blacked out around him. He hadn't lost the one he loved in the way Touda had five centuries ago. He hadn't held the tortured body, looked into the broken eyes, and he hadn't torched half of GensouKai with an unstoppable fire, but he had felt the same emotions Touda had back then.

The dragon lowered his gaze, eyes closing.

"Sohryu."

The eyes met Touda's, hesitant, still so broken, so pained, and Touda sighed softly. This would need time. But he wouldn't leave Sohryu alone in this; they needed him, he needed them. Touda considered himself a friend, the five centuries in Tenkuu's depths aside. They had been best friends once and he held a deep respect for the man.

We'll get through this, he thought, relaying those silent thoughts to the man he knew so well. If you let us help, if you and Terazuma finally decide on what's to be.  
Sohryu nodded once, then his gaze came to rest on the second occupant of the bed. Touda felt Tsuzuki's sleepy mind, not awake but also not completely unaware. He had slept almost non-stop, recovering with shinigami speed from the shock of the echoes that had come through the bond.

tbc...


	22. part 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He had never understood why.

Terazuma watched his lover as Sohryu approached the bed where Tsuzuki was still dozing. The other shinigami looked so fragile, vulnerable, so completely different from the façade Terazuma had been shown in the last three decades he had by now known the man. He only knew Tsuzuki as a slacker, a man who liked to evade work, who had one of the coziest districts, a man who commanded twelve shikigami and had such an incredible power, but he never used his full potential.

He had never understood why.

Until recently.

Sohryu sat down on the mattress and Tsuzuki moved sleepily as it dipped under the weight. Amethyst eyes cracked open, blinking, then a slow smile spread over the pale, exhausted features.

"Sohryu..."

The dragon caressed the tousled hair, the fair skin, and he smiled tenderly. Terazuma had never seen that smile, not even directed at him. He was witnessing something that was exclusively between master and shikigami. It was a love that had nothing to do with sex, with intimacy on a physical level. It was unconditional, gentle and very strong.

He remembered those words from long ago. Shikigami wanted their master's love. It was what Sohryu wanted, too. He loved Tsuzuki, would sacrifice his life for him, and he wanted his approval. The mighty dragon, the independent being, was bound to this shinigami and served and protected him.

And months ago he had wondered why none of Tsuzuki's shikigami had ever attacked him, seeing him as weak, trying to dissolve this bond. He would never have seen Tsuzuki Asato as a strong man, but he was. His psychic powers were incredible and they were the reason those twelve followed him. There was a silent fascination, a loyalty, an unconditional love that Terazuma had never seen before.

"My apologies, Tsuzuki," Sohryu whispered, infinite sadness in his voice. "I never meant for you or anyone else to get hurt."

The caressing hand was caught, slender fingers curling around it. Tsuzuki's smile was still there, tender and forgiving.

"I hurt you through my actions," the dragon murmured.

"I'm fine, Sohryu."

Violet eyes drooped and Tsuzuki was already sliding back into sleep. Sohryu leaned down and placed an affectionate kiss on the smooth forehead, then carded his fingers into the dark hair, his touch tender and almost parental, yet with a hint of a lover. Terazuma didn't know what to feel. Jealousy? Amazement? Awe?

Tsuzuki sighed a little and curled up on his side, already mostly asleep again. Touda, who hadn't moved the whole time, just slipped in closer and gathered the recovering form of their master close to him, like a protector.

Terazuma stood frozen, aware that what he saw was something deeply ingrained in these powerful beings. Protect the master. Protect Tsuzuki.

And Sohryu had caused that pain that was currently the source of this protectiveness. The dragon had to be in pain.

Sohryu met the golden eyes of the one he had physically abused, nodding once, and Touda smiled briefly.

"Go. Rest. You need it," the black shikigami rumbled. "And if I hear you coming back to the office before the week is over, I'll personally kick your ass out of there."

Sohryu chuckled a little. "Do I have to remind you who I am?"

"Do I have to remind you that I never cared?"

Both locked gazes, then Sohryu bowed his head in acknowledgement. He rose slowly and Terazuma unfroze as he saw his lover sway a little. Sohryu was still tired and recovering himself.

He touched one arm, felt Sohryu straighten, and he let go, aware that this proud man didn't want to appear weaker than he was. He had made it here under his own power, he would leave just the same.

When they were finally in the privacy of Sohryu's chambers, blue-gray eyes closed and Sohryu seemed to collapse into himself.

"Sohryu?" Terazuma asked, stepping closer.

Lines of pain and exhaustion had been carved into the handsome face and when Sohryu opened his eyes to look at him, there was a deep desperation inside him. And a need. Terazuma took the hurting shikigami in his arms, felt lips brush over his, and he responded.

"Don't leave," the dragon whispered.

"I won't," he promised, not resisting the hands that undressed him.

"Love you," Sohryu murmured, kissing him again, pushing their bodies together.

Terazuma groaned and closed his eyes at the sensation of skin against skin, of the sinewy length he knew so well moving against his own body. He had missed this. He wanted this. He wanted this man.

He loved him.

"I love you," he replied, burying himself in the sense that was Sohryu, feeling his touch, his lips, his very presence everywhere.

He ran his fingers through the long hair, marveling at its silky feel. All his senses were now wide open, taking in the man he loved, and he let himself fall into the powerful presence that so desperately needed him.

 _I love you_ , Terazuma thought.

Sohryu slept. Naked, long hair bound back in a haphazard pony tail with strings upon strings, he rested on his back, one hand flung outward. His face was smooth, unlined by age, with just a few shadows of the pain he had suffered. Exhaustion had wiped away those dark thoughts, had let him fall into the depths of sleep, and Terazuma was glad for it.

They would have to talk later.

Talk a lot. Terazuma smiled sadly. Talk for real.

 _I love you. I don't want to see you hurt, but I hurt you with my actions. I thought it was the logical way, the only way. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe we can make this work._

Because if they failed... He shuddered. He had seen what it had caused. Sohryu loved him, needed him, and for Terazuma this relationship had been an eye-opener.  
But how can we live together? he thought sadly. A shikigami and a shinigami... There was a first time for everything...

He had come out here to think, to clear his head, to try and straighten out what he felt.

Elbows resting on his knees Terazuma closed his eyes, inhaling the bitter smoke from his cigarette, fighting the contrary emotions that were welling up inside him, emotions he thought he had buried a long time ago, together with the bitter memories.

 _I am not gay_ , he thought, more desperate now. _I am not. But I love him. So very, very much._

So much had happened, so much pain and hurt... because of him. Because Sohryu loved him.

 _And I love him. I do. I tried to run, but I couldn't. He's there, inside me, and I love him._

He stubbed out the cigarette, feeling sick from the taste. He had smoked for so long now, had only given it up because Sohryu had finally convinced him that his shikigami suffered from it... and Terazuma had found himself caring about the Black One.

Like he cared so much about Sohryu.

Yoshi...

Terazuma groaned and shivered.

Gods, he hadn't thought of Yoshi for... decades. Why did this have to come back now?

 _"Shimamoto Yoshiteru."_

 _He looked up in confusion when he heard a male voice that sounded like silk sliding over a smooth surface._

 _"Excuse me?"_

 _"Shimamoto Yoshiteru. My name. You must be Terazuma Hajime, therefore we're supposed to be together."_

 _Dancing brown eyes were laughing at him as he stared at the other young man, the blankness of his mind obviously showing on his face._

 _"Working together. S comes before T, therefore we're supposed to sit together through this lecture."_

 _"Ah... uhm, sure."_

 _God, was he blushing! The other boy - he couldn't be much older than he himself, twenty-two tops - slipped into the seat at his side._

 _"You can call me Yoshi."_

 _"Hajime."_

 _"I know."_

 _Yoshi smiled._

He and Yoshi had become friends, very good friends, to be precise. And Hajime was thankful to have a friend who didn't seem to give a damn about his last name. The surname "Terazuma" meant a lot in those days, with his grandfather a celebrated commissioner on his way to retirement, his father stepping up the ladder in a rush - they were a family of cops, and the only reason he had attended the academy was because it was expected of the eldest son of the Terazuma clan.

His name had opened doors - and closed others, more private ones. Rookie cops had problems in making friends anyway, and being a Terazuma didn't make it easier. He hated it.

But Yoshi didn't care about his name.

Thankfully he worked the same precinct, though they weren't partnered to each other.

Terazuma had no idea when he had started to - notice several things. Very small, innocent little things like the way Yoshi's hair reflected the sun or how there would appear little golden sparkles in his eyes when he was upset. And he liked his company, liked having the other man near.

It concerned him.

And then there was that fateful day, that day he was packing up his stuff to move into his new apartment, away from his parents, and Yoshi was helping. They were laughing and making fun of each other, when he happened to stumble over a box and - he still had no idea how it really happened - landed in his friends arms on the bed.

Suddenly those laughing brown eyes were really close, as was the other man's body, and Yoshi's arms were around his waist, and he could even smell his friend and then Yoshi wasn't laughing anymore. It had been the proverbial moment when the world seemed to stand still for a split second before it decided to turn on its axis - it was the split second before he felt Yoshi's lips on his.

Too stunned at first to do anything Terazuma froze for a second, but then he had felt himself react, respond, digging his fingers into his friend's shirt, and all of a sudden everything made sense. When Yoshi pulled back he smiled gently, brushing some strands out of his eyes, and Terazuma wanted nothing but to repeat the - kiss. Yoshi had kissed him. He smiled back, reaching up to pull his friend down on him again - and met the icy stare of his father's eyes.

Terazuma sighed and stomped on the already cold cigarette. His father had strictly refused to talk about the incident', but he had pulled some strings, because the next day Yoshi was gone, transferred into a run-down precinct at the very end of the world, or so it seemed to young Hajime.

He had argued, fought, even threatened his father, but the argument had always been the same - Terazumas were cops, and Terazumas weren't like that'. The emphasis put on the last word held disgust and revulsion, but Terazuma had known he was a big disappointment to his father anyway, so it hadn't pulled him down too much.

Only once had his father lost it, and that had been when he had stated that since he had kissed another man and loved it, he seemed to be very much like that'. That argument had ended in two broken ribs and lots of cuts and bruises; and Terazuma still wondered if his father would have beaten him to death if his mother hadn't made an appearance, silently reminding her husband of his duties as head of the family.

She had bandaged his ribs and cupped his face, telling him she loved him but he should obey his father. And then she had slipped him a note.

Go, if you must', she had said, but it won't do you no good.'

It had been Yoshi's address.

When his ribs had healed enough that he had been ready to travel he packed a few things and jumped into the next train, eager to see his friend, talk to Yoshi, no matter what. He had been ready to quit the job, to say good-bye to his family and former life, commit himself to... yes, his very first love. His heart had hammered in his chest when he had finally knocked on Yoshi's door.

He remembered, as if it had only been yesterday and not almost forty years ago, the young woman who had opened the door, looking at him questioningly. She had smiled warmly when he had asked for Yoshi with an embarrassed stutter, and announced that her husband wasn't at home.

Poor woman had looked greatly confused when he had simply turned and left, not reacting to her offer to leave a message or wait for her husband.

When the headache and nausea from his successful attempt of drinking himself into a stupor had subsided Terazuma had understood that his father had won. Would always win, no matter what. Because he was a Terazuma, and Terazuma's weren't like 'that'.

He had never seen Yoshi again

And he had buried his feelings for this special person deep, deep inside him. Because he wasn't gay. Terazuma's weren't like 'that'.

Damn.

But now he was. And there was no father to beat him for it, no motherly advice, no family honor. He had left that behind when he had died.

Sohryu had fought for him. Sohryu loved him. Sohryu needed him.

 _I love you_ , he thought, trembling.

Terazumas weren't like that.

But he wasn't a Terazuma any more, right?

tbc...


	23. part 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Terazuma's eyes swept over the small park and came to rest on a lone figure sitting on the curving bridge that spanned over the river that divided the land. Dressed in his habitual black, just GensouKai style now, Tsuzuki gazed into the running water, eyes half-closed, a faraway expression in his so strangely colored eyes. His hair was as unruly as always, but he appeared thinner. It had only been two days since they had come here, racing through the gate, Terazuma dragging the trembling man along, fear gnawing at his insides. In those two days Tsuzuki had transformed from the cheerful, smiling colleague he knew and loved to hate to a powerful, determined warrior who had tamed a dragon, to a wounded soul.

Almost forty-eight hours after the incident, Terazuma walked down the long, open but roofed passage way that led from the palace along the inner garden and yard to a small but beautifully crafted landscape forest. There were hardly any flowers here, just old trees that gave shade and cool spots throughout the hot summer days. It wasn't mid-summer yet and the days were still cool enough to feel comfortable. Sohryu had once mentioned that sometimes summer could be sweltering hot. Shikigami didn't influence the weather or the seasons; they just enjoyed nature as it was.

Terazuma's eyes swept over the small park and came to rest on a lone figure sitting on the curving bridge that spanned over the river that divided the land. Dressed in his habitual black, just GensouKai style now, Tsuzuki gazed into the running water, eyes half-closed, a faraway expression in his so strangely colored eyes. His hair was as unruly as always, but he appeared thinner. It had only been two days since they had come here, racing through the gate, Terazuma dragging the trembling man along, fear gnawing at his insides. In those two days Tsuzuki had transformed from the cheerful, smiling colleague he knew and loved to hate to a powerful, determined warrior who had tamed a dragon, to a wounded soul.

Touda was fine, was up and walking and apparently already complaining a lot. He would be completely healed in a day or two. Sohryu, well, he had a lot to work through, but Terazuma planned to help. Last night had been a start. A passionate, warm and loving start. He could still smell his lover's scent, could feel his kisses and touches, and it made him crave for more.

Stepping out of the passageway and walking over to the bridge, Terazuma chewed on his unlit cigarette, eyes still on the slender man he had despised for so long. In the last weeks he had gotten to know him a little and discovered that there was a lot underneath what Sohryu had called a façade. He saw that now.

And I'm a detective? he mused darkly. No wonder I needed my name to account to anything in that job. Everyone probably knew more about Tsuzuki Asato than him.  
He had started to work on that deficiency.

Walking onto the bridge he finally stopped beside the seated shinigami, then gracelessly plopped down beside him.

"Hey," he said gruffly.

Amethyst eyes looked at him, the weight of the world in them, but the smile on Tsuzuki's face was welcoming and warm. Child-like, in a way, Terazuma thought with a pang. He had never really looked into those eyes. He had been deceived by the front this man presented to everyone.

"Hello, Terazuma."

"How's Touda?"

"Fine," was the soft answer. "Shikigami heal quickly."

Like shinigami. But some wounds took longer. The deep cuts and multiple fractures wouldn't just simply fuse shut again.

"You got a really good hit from that, huh?"

A shrug. "Touda wasn't prepared for it and his shields shattered."

Neither were you. You weren't prepared to be bonded to that fire serpent, nor for the pain that came later on.

Another shrug. "It's okay. We're okay." Terazuma was given a bright smile, but Tsuzuki's eyes reflected his pain.

"It's not your fault, Tsuzuki," he heard himself say. "You couldn't have known how Sohryu felt. Your only link to this world is Touda and he didn't know either." Terazuma tore the cigarette from his lips. "It's my fault. I was stupid."

"You weren't stupid," was the simple reply.

Terazuma snorted. Yeah, right. He was the very definition of stupid!

"Did you talk?" Tsuzuki asked.

He sighed. "Yeah, kinda."

"But you found no solution?"

"Not yet."

Both men fell silent and Terazuma played with the cigarette.

"Tatsumi knows now," the former cop muttered.

Tsuzuki was silent, waiting, almost holding his breath.

"We talked. He told me that as long as it doesn't influence my performance as a shinigami, he's okay with it."

"He can't just...!" Tsuzuki started to protest.

Terazuma stopped him, smiling. "He's okay with it, Tsuzuki. He's just being careful. I know the problem is the distance between us. I can't just go home and have Sohryu be there. We can't have a date for a movie or dinner, we can't sit together in the evening. Our relationship is complicated. Sohryu lives in a different realm and to get there, I need to use the Gates. Wakaba can't always be there to open them for me."

"I can," Tsuzuki said quietly.

"I appreciate the offer." And Terazuma truly did. He had never thought of asking him. "But this will get to all of us sooner or later. We have to find another solution. Sohryu is the leader of GensouKai. It's not a job where he can just drop everything on a whim and leave to see his lover."

Terazuma took out the cold cigarette. He felt somewhat down, but he had known about the problems; he had consciously decided to enter this relationship... because he loved the man.

"We'll find a way," Tsuzuki said quietly.

He hoped so. He truly hoped so.

Sohryu had noticed the quiet and thoughtful way his lover was these days. He noticed the indecision and he waited. There was nothing else to do anyway. Terazuma loved him, he knew that. The shinigami had stayed in GensouKai ever since the incident, but something seemed to be haunting the young man, and it wasn't that Sohryu had nearly lost it over the prospect of a permanent separation.

It was more.

And three days after things had settled, he finally got an answer. They were at their lake again, sitting in the warm sun underneath a tree.

Terazuma shifted a little uncomfortably, all but chewing on his unlit cigarette. Sohryu had seen him do that a lot lately. The ever-present pack was almost empty, and he had never lit a single cigarette, but he kept on chewing on it till it was a soggy mess and then discarded it with a disgusted growl.

"Sohryu... I guess there's something I've to explain to you. Why I ran, I mean."

"You already did."

"Yeah, but... there's more about it, and I just realized it." There was a little sigh. "It's not just because... you know, the distance. I think we can work on that. I ran because... not only because of the difficulties concerning our different... uh, cultures. But because I love you."

Sohryu cocked one eyebrow quizzically. He knew that. He knew Hajime loved him and it was the best thing that had ever happened to him since Aya.

"You see, the thing is, I..." Terazuma inhaled deeply before he continued, "there was someone once... his name was Yoshi..."

Sohryu listened as his lover revealed a part of his life to him that had been everything but pleasant, and his heart ached for the man at his side, especially when Terazuma spoke about his father's reaction to an innocent kiss.

The dragon had to admit he still had problems grasping the human concept of gay' or het', but he had understood that some humans took a vast interest in this notion. Shikigami simply didn't care if the person they loved were of a special gender, and it would never occur to parents to beat their children within in inch of their lives simply because they didn't approve of the chosen partner's gender.

"I never had the chance to tell him... and afterwards... I'm not gay. I mustn't be. My father made sure of that. But yet I love a man, and it was... frightening?"

Red eyes gazed at him, and there were no guards this time.

"Do you fear what you feel, Hajime?" Sohryu asked quietly.

"No, I... it was a little overwhelming. I don't know how to... what to expect, you see?"

Sohryu smiled warmly, cupping his lovers face gently. "How about we learn together?"

He leaned in for a soft kiss.

"Did I ever tell you about my late wife and son?" he asked.

"You...?"

"I was married once, yes. Her name was Aya, and she knew how to drive me crazy like no one else before..."

It was one of those nice, lazy evenings that Tatsumi liked so much. Take-out food from a very good restaurant, a mystery movie on TV, and his lover snuggled close. Yes, he liked those evenings.

"Seii?"

"Hm?"

"I've been thinking."

Oh-oh, Tatsumi thought. He had known Watari Yutaka long enough that these words could mean imminent doom. Especially for the non-scientific in the room, which was, well, him.

"About...?" he prompted, aware he was signing his death certificate, so to speak.

"Terazuma and Sohryu, their problem with crossing dimensions to see each other."

Bingo. Gray matter meltdown.

"And?" Tatsumi felt brave today.

"There might be a solution. It involves a good load of research and I might not be able to make it work right away, but... there is a distinct chance to actually open a private portal for Terazuma and let him into GensouKai without threatening the dimensional stability of either realm, or endanger the inhabitants by allowing unwanted persons to follow Terazuma on the trip."

Tatsumi looked at his lover, noted the excitement in the golden eyes. "A private portal? Like a private gate? There are only four and they are heavily guarded..."

"Yes, exactly." Watari sat up. "You see, if we can make one that's only keyed to Terazuma, to his person, and no one else can use it, either to get in or out..."

"You think you can do that?"

A vigorous nod. "You remember those wormholes Tsuzuki told us about? The Shisa fell through one and couldn't go back. They were random and occurred more often in the realm of GensouKai without connecting to either Meifu or the world of the living. One of them hitting the world of the living was remote. I think every 200 to 300 years. But," he held up one finger, "if there's one thing we learned from the wormholes, it's that they can pierce through dimensional walls and connect the worlds in a one way trip."

"You want to create a miniature wormhole?" Tatsumi asked, aghast.

"No! Of course not! That's too dangerous! But we could employ wormhole research to do something different. Terazuma carries a shikigami, right?"

"Right."

"Shikigami can cross from GensouKai into Meifu."

"Yes, but..."

"I know, Seii, I know. The Black One's a parasitic type and bound to Terazuma, which is the beauty of it!"

Tatsumi blinked. "Now you lost me. The lion can't go into GensouKai because he's bound to a host."

"Yep."

"And... that's good?"

"Yes!"

Tatsumi shook his head. "You lost me."

Watari grinned brightly. "It's so simple! Kokushunkei is from GensouKai, so returning to GensouKai once he's freed is deeply routed inside him. He knows GensouKai; it's his home. Now, if we use that in-built homing device, his instinct, and enable Terazuma to cross with him - but give control over the process to Terazuma, bingo! We have the solution!"

Watari was almost bouncing in place. He truly glowed with excitement.

"You want to... what?"

"Seii, it's easy! All I need to do is find out Kokushunkei's frequency, if you want, and then I need someone from GensouKai to incorporate it in a program that combines wormhole technology with gate frequencies, and we need a device that stores that data. I've already got an idea..."

Tatsumi placed a finger on the runaway mouth. "Taka?"

"Hmpf?"

"How many lab explosions do I have to expect?"

That got him a glare. "I don't blow up my lab as a rule!"

"Good. You think you can really do that?"

"Yeah. I just need someone working with me in GensouKai. I could ask Tsuzuki..."

"Okay."

Golden eyes glowed. "Really?"

"Really."

Watari hugged him, planting a stormy kiss on his lips. "Thanks."

Tatsumi just smiled and leaned down for another kiss, this one slower, more sensual.

Watari slid deeper into the couch and sighed, his arms wrapped around Tatsumi's broad shoulder, legs spreading to accommodate the other man. Tatsumi didn't any more prompting.

Things heated up from there on.

tbc...


	24. part 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Terazuma had been stunned by the idea to outfit him with a kind of personal key into GensouKai, based on his shikigami's natural affinity with the other realm, but he had been willing to assist. Like Sohryu and even Tsuzuki, Terazuma wanted nothing more than to find a way to have his lover as close as any of the others were with their respective others. Wakaba wouldn't always be able to open her gate. She had a job to do and opening gates wasn't it.

The suggestion that Watari had to scan the lion hadn't sat well with Tatsumi. Kagankokushunkei, despite Terazuma's claims that they were working well together by now, was still an unknown variable. Past encounters had been rather violent. So it was with a bit of trepidation that the Shadow Master watched the proceedings in one of the huge yards of the judicial building.

Terazuma had been stunned by the idea to outfit him with a kind of personal key into GensouKai, based on his shikigami's natural affinity with the other realm, but he had been willing to assist. Like Sohryu and even Tsuzuki, Terazuma wanted nothing more than to find a way to have his lover as close as any of the others were with their respective others. Wakaba wouldn't always be able to open her gate. She had a job to do and opening gates wasn't it.

Tatsumi watched as Terazuma became the Black One, the black lion shikigami with red eyes and large, leathery wings. The lion blinked and rumbled, apparently a little confused as to why his host and master had let him out. There was no one to fight.

"Hello, Kokushunkei," Watari greeted him, smiling brightly. And then he started to explain the procedure as if he was facing a normal student of cross-dimensional gate technologies 101.

The Black One tilted his head, attentive, showing no aggression, and when Watari held up the scanner, the massive head lowered to sniff at it.

Tatsumi held his breath.

Nothing happened.

A gust of air ruffled Watari's blond mane, then the lion just rumbled. The wings stayed folded, the aggression in the box.

"Great!" Watari exclaimed. "So just relax. It'll take a while."

And the scan began.

It took the best part of an hour before Watari was done with the proceedings. In that time, the Black One lay down, front paws crossed, wings folded, tail flicking lazily. His blood red eyes were drooping and he was watching the small shinigami walking around him with lazy interest.

003 had taken an interest, too, fluttering around them, hooting excitedly. Now and then Kokushunkei made a few soft rumbling noises and it seemed he was talking to the tiny owl. 003 finally landed on the large head - and promptly sank through the fluffy mane with an owl exclamation of surprise.

Watari looked up from his notes and sighed. "003!"

Unconcerned he reached up and plucked the tiny owl out of the black mane, putting her onto his shoulder. She shuffled a little, hooting her indignation. Kokushunkei growled softly and peered at the tiny bird now perched on the scientist's shoulder, then snorted.

003 tumbled off, Watari's hair was ruffled even more, and the lion mewled a little, sounding playful. It was the beginning of a number of interplays between the two so different beings, and all Tatsumi could do was watch in wonder.

Watari was beaming when he walked over to where Tatsumi still watched, alert and ready to intervene should the black lion attack his lover.

"Relax, Seii," Watari laughed, giving him a brilliant smile. "He's a kitten." Watari smiled tenderly as he looked at he big, black shikigami. "He looks cute."

Tatsumi stared at him. "What!"

The lion was still basking in the sun, stretched out on one side despite the leathery wings and it had to be comfortable or he wouldn't be purring continuously. His eyes were closed, the paws outstretched, flexing now and then as he expressed his relaxed mood, and the tail lay still. No nervous flicking or twitching.

"Look at him. He's okay, he feels fine, he's completely at ease."

"That's the shikigami that destroyed the library!"

"Well, not alone," Watari said with a mild reproach. "Sohryu did his share. It's really okay, Seiichiro. Terazuma learned a lot lately and by just looking at him you can see the changes."

Tatsumi sighed. Yes, okay, so the lion was peaceful, but parasitic shikigami were temperamental and easily slipped from relaxed to attack-happy.

Wakaba, who had manned the other end of the huge yard walked over to them, still keeping an eye on the lion. But she smiled, almost proudly, too.

"You done?" she asked.

Watari nodded. "Yes, I've all the data I need. The next step is all lab work."

Wakaba hefted a backpack in her hand and nodded. "Then we can get Terazuma back."

Unconcerned, she walked over to the lion, calling out to him. The Black One raised his head, yawned, which showed off rows of sharp, long teeth, and then he suddenly shifted. Within the blink of an eye they were looking at a stark naked Terazuma who gratefully took the clothes from Wakaba and dressed.

Watari just grabbed Tatsumi's arm and pulled him away, leaving the other shinigami to themselves.

"I'll be in the lab," he announced.

"Okay. Just don't fall asleep in there again," Tatsumi teased.

"Uh-huh. Very funny, Mr. Work-a-holic. Anyway, this is important. Statistics are just plain boring."

"Statistics are what keeps this place running," Tatsumi argued good-naturedly.

Watari huffed. "Riiight." He placed a quick kiss on his lover's lips. "Later."

And then he was gone.

Tatsumi smiled a little and watched the blond man disappear in the building. Finally he turned to where Wakaba and Terazuma were still talking, the young woman looking excited. She was smoothing her partner's clothes, a wide smile on her features and her eyes alight. Terazuma just appeared his usual, gruff self, but he wasn't changing into the lion, which showed how much he was in control now.

Tatsumi hoped there was a solution to the problem. He knew how bad it would be for him to be separated from Watari. He loved him dearly, needed him close, and he wanted the choice to be with him whenever they felt like it. Terazuma had no such options.

Fingers crossed, he thought as he nodded at the possessed shinigami. Terazuma just nodded back, then they both went their own way. Tatsumi had matters to take care of and Terazuma had his own cases.

Byakko walked into the depths of Tenkuu, heading for the main computer room that gave direct access to the heart of this world, to all its outposts, to the energy lines running through GensouKai. It was a restricted access room, in the bowls of the sentient palace that was one of Tsuzuki's shikigami and a Divine Commander like himself. No one who had no business being on this level could even reach the place. Tenkuu's insides were like a maze and the palace could shift walls, rooms and whole floors at will. It made for a complex and sometimes entertaining stay.

Looking over to the access station, Byakko felt something cold touch him at the sight of the black-dressed figure, seemingly suspended in mid-air, sitting on an invisible chair, with power lines and cables running from him into the ground. Touda was busy typing on the flat, transparent keyboard that hovered in front of him, his eyes on the equally flat, angled screen above.

What had Byakko freeze was the sight of the visor covering his lover's eyes, the cables attached to it, and the golden eyes he loved so much hidden behind the tinted plastic.

It looked a lot like the control device.

He swallowed and forced himself to move.

Touda turned his head at the approach and gave him a brief smile before returning to his work. Numbers, letters and strange symbols flashed across the left half of the screen while the right one had been segmented into two halves. One showed a diagram, the other a wire model of what had to be a wormhole.

"Hey," Byakko greeted the fire shikigami, trying to divulge from what he saw how far Touda had come.

"Hey. I'm almost done here."

He nodded. "Just looking in on you."

"Afraid I got lost in Tenkuu's labyrinth?" Touda teased as his fingers flew over the keys and more equations appeared.

"Nah. Only Tsuzuki can manage that."

A chuckle. "True."

"So, any progress?"

"Actually, a lot. Watari has finished the device and we're just getting ready to upload the data. If Terazuma agrees, we can run a test tomorrow."

"With him as the guinea pig?"

"Of course. It's been made for him and Kagankokushunkei. We can test it no other way."

Another equation was finished and the image of the wormhole on the bottom right hand shifted a little, bulging first, then shrinking to a tiny dot.

"Sohryu will be thrilled."

A shrug.

It took Touda another hour to finish his part of the job and he finally uploaded everything from the GensouKai mainframe into Meifu where Watari would now begin the integration of the complicated program into the miniature control device.

Disconnecting himself from the machines, Touda rose and stretched a little. He took off the visor and Byakko breathed a sigh of relief, looking into those wonderful eyes once more. Touda wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him close.

"It's not like before," he said softly, kissing him gently.

"I know. Just... seeing you like that... it brought up some bad things. I don't want you to be controlled like that ever again."

"Neither do I. It's a necessity though, if I want to work effectively. And the cyber-visor has no influence on me."

Byakko nodded, quite aware of that. "Let's go," he only said.

They left the silent computer room and not much later stepped out of the sentient palace into the sun.

tbc...


	25. part 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N: Well, all good stories must come to an end, and this is the final chapter of Catharsis. Don#t worry, Terazuma will be back in the next one, and not just as a background character. We'll keep him.**

**A/N: Well, all good stories must come to an end, and this is the final chapter of Catharsis. Don#t worry, Terazuma will be back in the next one, and not just as a background character. We'll keep him.**

 **Thank you all for your wonderful reviews! I had my doubts about throwing this pairing at you, but it was taken quite positively. We still have another, rather unusual one in stock, but before we can post Phoenix, we need to finish the story before that. Next in line will be Pivotal, so watch out for that one. It will continue something wehad happenin here for a paragraph or two. Yes, we like to weave plotlines (g).**

 **Thanks again for being such patient and wonderful reviewers!**

 **Macx**

* * *

The first trial was... trying. Watari had fiddled with the device the whole night and Tatsumi knew that all his lover's knowledge, energy and brainpower was in this small key to GensouKai. But they still had to try it out and there was only one person to test it: Terazuma.

"So... what do I do?" the possessed shinigami asked warily.

"It's actually quite easy. All you do is enter the area code," Watari explained, smiling at him, "and the device does the rest. It homes you in on GensouKai."

"Area code?"

"A four digit number. Like a pass code. Not really necessary, but it keeps you from accidentally hitting the key button and ending up over there without wanting to."

"Ah." Terazuma understood safety measures. "And the code?"

"Your pick. Just enter the four numbers, hit 'ok' and then they're stored in there. Even if all of us know the code, none of us can use it. It's your shikigami that's important for this."

Terazuma nodded and typed in the four numbers, then 'ok' and waited. A small screen told him the area code had been accepted.

"Now what?"

"Type the code, then hit the small black button on the bottom left side. It should open up the gate," Watari explained and then stepped back. "Good luck."

He would need it.

Tatsumi and Watari watched in silence as Terazuma entered the code. At first nothing happened, then there was a hiss of magical energy and they were faced with a huge, black lion.

"Oh no!" Watari exclaimed.

The lion's eyes glowed red and it roared in anger and pain, wings unfolding with a snap.

Tatsumi felt the shadows stir, surrounding the angry shikigami, and he waited. The lion snarled, shaking his head as if to dislodge something, pawing. Watari swallowed, clearly confused.

"I don't understand..." he murmured and pulled out a device that looked like a pocket calculator. "Something's not right..."

Tatsumi saw the move before the Black One even made it. "Taka!"

There was an owl screech, a startled cry, and shadows shot forward, blocking the huge paw and the whole shikigami as it attacked the blond scientist. Watari rolled over the hard stone of the yard, 003 fluttering around him, screeching at the Black One, while the lion roared in fury, fighting the shadows that held him.

"Don't hurt him!" Watari yelled at his lover, scarmbling to his feet. "He's just confused!"

Tatsumi had no intention of harming the shikigami, but he also wouldn't let go.

From one second to another the lion disappeared and a very much naked and dazed Terazuma stood in its place, breathing hard, trembling.

The shadows disappeared with a whisper.

"Let me guess," the shaken man whispered hoarsely. "That didn't work..."

Watari was shaking, too. "No," he confessed. "Not at all."

Terazuma sank to his knees, one hand holding his head.

"You okay?" Watari asked, worried all of a sudden.

Tatsumi followed his lover, careful of the still dangerous man, but 003 showed no hesitation as she flew around him, hooting softly.

"Headache," Terazuma confessed.

"Let's go inside," Tatsumi said calmly. "We'll figure out what went wrong there."

And they did, supporting a shaky Terazuma who was covered by Watari's labcoat.

The second attempt was a little less volatile and wild, but no less painful for the main party involved. While the Black One didn't come out this time - and they had Wakaba there just as a precaution - the gate didn't work again. Terazuma literally ran into a wall. He bounced back from the dimensional barrier and hit the next solid object to stop his flight, which was a wall. He collided with a resounding crack.

Watari's reaction was one of startled surprise and mortification at causing his colleague harm again.

"I'm sorry," he whispered as they sat in the hospital wing and he was bandaging two broken ribs that would be healed by tomorrow. "I thought it had just been a little bug. Looks like it's much worse. I... I'm truly sorry. If we had a way to test it on an object first, I wouldn't..."

Terazuma stopped him with a held up hand. "I'm fine, Watari. No real harm done. I know I've got to be the test person, and I know you don't mean to hurt me in the process. It's okay. I want this."

Golden eyes held steady red ones.

"I want to be able to see Sohryu," Terazuma said softly. "Without asking either Wakaba or Tsuzuki all the time. I want to be able to get there - with the key you and Touda developed."

The blond nodded. "I understand. We will get it to work. I think I need to talk to Touda. Maybe the programming's a bit off..."

"You do that, I'll get some rest." Terazuma slid off the hospital bed, suppressing a wince. "See you tomorrow."

Watari's sad golden eyes followed the injured shinigami. He understood the need to be with one's lover. Just thinking that Tatsumi would be separated from him by a dimensional barrier, depending on gates and Tsuzuki to see each other... yes, he understood. And he would make this work.

Somehow.

It took three more attempts and another week for the device to work properly for the first time. Watari was ecstatic when he heard from Tsuzuki that Terazuma had arrived. Tatsumi had the living daylights hugged out of him by his excited lover and a kiss was planted in his lips that spoke of a celebration tonight.

In GensouKai, a slightly rattled Terazuma was greeted by his shikigami lover. Sohryu was dressed in his usual outfit, the regal, stately appearance of a leader. Blinking, trying to get his bearings while the Black One did the same, Terazuma exhaled softly.

"It worked," he whispered.

Sohryu closed the distance and leaned down a little, kissing the slightly open lips. "Yes, it did. Welcome to GensouKai."

Terazuma laughed breathlessly. It had worked! It - had - worked! He looked at the small electronic device that appeared as innocent as a cell phone. Watari, you're a genius!

Someone joined them and Terazuma gazed into a pair of golden eyes. Touda looked at him, features neutral.

"Tsuzuki and the others are asking if you're okay. I suppose you are."

He nodded. He felt fine; a bit dizzy but fine.

Touda's hard eyes didn't change, just grew more intense, then he turned and walked away. Terazuma had a problem handling the black shikigami, but thankfully the interaction was on a minimum level whenever he was here.

Sohryu's gentle, loving touch drew him out of his thoughts. "You should test if you can return as well," he advised.

"Yeah." He grinned a little. "See you later, I hope."

And with that he dialled home.

Watari was proud like a new parent. His baby', the Key, as he called it, worked perfectly fine. Any residual dizziness that Terazuma had experienced the first few times, had disappeared. His visits to GensouKai went smoothly and without a hitch.

Snuggling against Tatsumi, enjoying the warmth of their afterglow, Watari felt good. Not just because of the sex, but also because of his success. It was good to be successful, to have created such a device, to be of help. He usually just tinkered around, invented strange little things, but not this time.

"You brain is going to explode," Tatsumi muttered.

Watari blinked. "Huh?"

Sleepy blue eyes blinked at him. "I know that expression. You're thinking about something again. The Key, probably." He yawned a little. "And your head is going to explode if you keep doing it."

Watari leaned down and brushed his lips over his lover's. Tatsumi was somewhere between asleep and awake, but he responded.

"You did well, Taka," the Shadow Master murmured and smiled. "Now go to sleep."

"Yes, Mom." It felt good to be needed, to be useful.

In GensouKai, Sohryu looked at his lover. Terazuma was out like a light. Naked underneath the bed cover, black hair tousled, features relaxed, he looked young and innocent. Sohryu smiled to himself.

Right!

Pushing a rogue strand of hair out of his face, the dragon shikigami leaned back against the headboard and just watched the man he loved, the man he had fought for not to lose, and the man he wouldn't let go. Terazuma Hajime; shinigami. He would never have thought that his partner would be a shinigami, let alone a man. He had had male lovers before, but this one was special. This was the one, he mused. He felt it deep down inside.

And it was what made him happy. Tsuzuki had remarked on the changes in him, as had Byakko and Touda. Even his own children had said something to the effect.

The changes weren't just because of Terazuma, but also because of the latest events, because of Tsuzuki, because of Touda, because of Byakko. All of them.

He smiled more.

The future looked good, not just for him.


End file.
